Women, Phenomenally

2011-10-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

Geez... it is so depressing.... over the last several years since I started taking BP medicine (it's all I can figure) I have gained about 30 pounds. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or don't do those pounds just slowly keep adding up. I am desperate now. I can't comfortably wear any of my jeans and I just can't make myself go up yet another plus size. So, I am back to trying to eat more carefully, I have been exercising, mostly just some yoga type stuff and walking and trying to increase the difficulty each week. I know it can't hurt me (other than it kills my knees) but so far I don't think I actually doing enough to do any good. I will keep trying to increase my time and effort.. the eating less doesn't always work out :)

Honestly, I wish I could just be okay with being almost 60 and fat, but, I can't. I beat myself up on a regular basis and feel bad about myself the rest of the time.

I've been doing regular exercise for at least a month now, so, maybe I have found the stamina to keep going... we will see. The weather is nice enough now to enjoy walking so hopefully I will keep that up too.

Just thought I'd check in with a little more depressing news......

Welcome to the Club, Dear Cheri!!

2011-07-26T19:20:00.000-07:00

Cheri is now one of the women of the '3rd age' past childhood, past childbearing, and into the age of wisdom.

I had devised a ceremony to welcome her in. When Mom was there to help her after surgery, I came over to visit and we had ourselves a little ceremony.

Privately, without anyone around who wasn't in the the club; we had Cheri burn the instruments of her 2nd age.

Welcome to the age of wisdom, Dear Cheri!

2011-06-09T14:28:00.001-07:00

"I wake up every morning on a diet; I go to bed every night a failure"

something I heard on a commercial... that about sums it up for me.

2011-03-07T11:26:00.000-08:00

Although I have not been exercising at all other than my usual 100 miles I walk every day of my life in circles around and around the house, from the dog pen to the house, from the garden to the house, to the mail box and to the house, to the office and to the house, up the steps from kitchen to living room and living room to dining room.. okay, you get the picture

I haven't been walking or working out but I do moan and groan a lot. My bright idea of doing strength exercises for my knees almost killed me. I blew my right knee out and it is just now 3 weeks later going down, the pain is getting less - finally. So, that was not a great idea. Don't think I will try it again either.

But, I am getting prepared to do my annual spring (body)cleanse. I ordered some ridiculously expensive Super Juice and have made a menu and grocery list of super foods to eat and another list of things to NOT eat for that 3 days.

I know it is not much in the big scheme of things, but, it makes me feel better about how I treat my body and therefore It is good.

Working It Out

2011-02-28T15:33:00.000-08:00

I finally started working out again last week. All in all, it feels great. I've set a new goal for myself. I'd like to be able to run a mile by May 4th, my second year open heart surgery anniversary. As soon as the weather is good enough I'll be outside training, but for now I'm using EA active and the Wii to get started. I've been doing 25 minute workouts five times a week. It feels great! I haven't seen any weight loss, but I'm not going to let that hinder me.

2011-02-12T13:51:00.000-08:00

Really?
Seriously???

After more than a year of no periods...I started my period yesterday.

You have got to be freaking kidding me. My poor old ovaries just don't know when to die.

I haven't walked, hell, I've just barely moved for the past couple of weeks. My eating has been shot to hell with Mark gone every day this last week, I didn't cook, I nibbled.

Spring time is coming to Oklahoma though. Supposed to be in the 70's this week. funny, huh?

Maybe the sunshine will inspire me :)

2011-01-30T17:19:00.000-08:00

I didn't walk at all this week because of my back, was hoping to start again tomorrow but the predictions are for freaking cold weather next week so we'll see.

I did look up a couple of websites that showed specific exercises to strengthen back muscles and some for knees and have been doing them.. a few every day and doing a little weight lifting with (very) light weights (8lbs). I know I don't work out hard enough to probably make much difference but I keep thinking it is better than not doing anything... right???

I'm doing pretty good at eliminating the salty snacks but, Lord o'mercy you should hear Mark whine about me buying unsalted nuts and seeds....

My eating is about the same... too much of a good thing and there is no weight loss. Maybe when I can get back to walking every day.. I can keep hoping.

love you guys

FAIL

2011-01-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

this week was a total FAIL

I didn't walk but a couple of days - it was just too cold.

It's so easy for me to replace one thing with another in my diet.. I mean... I have been cutting way back on the salty snacks but eating just as many non salty ones that there is no way I'm gonna lose any weight, but, I keep telling myself that I'm eating healthier and actually I am but I still need the weight loss to bring down the BP and I'm not achieving that!!

All I know to do is keep trying.

It hasn't been a good week - lots of stress. We are dealing with another Rock Star who is refusing to pay us what they owe and losing what we thought was a friend in the process. Really SUCKS!! That and my Older Brother is causing me grief, again. He has sent two different realtors to our house...

So, come tomorrow morning, I will bundle up and go walk. I will try to control my eating. I will not eat salty things. I will take my vitamins and my BP medications and that's about the best I can do.

2011-01-16T15:11:00.001-08:00

I'm down 6lbs!! I haven't worked out for the past three days thanks to a nasty chest cold. Does coughing count as a workout?

How are you doing A???

2011-01-09T19:34:00.000-08:00

Walked every day this week except one - the day I went to the doctor. I was especially proud of myself for making it this morning. It was cold and all I wanted to do was snuggle up and stay in bed but I did it and felt better for it.

The diet hasn't been a stretch for me, I think the new meds are affecting my appetite so I have been eating only because I know I need to eat and being choosy about what I did eat. According to the scale (which I decided to use ONCE a week) I lost a couple of pounds this week.. not a big deal when you need to lose at least 50!

Today I've had 2 eggs (but only one yolk), a piece of oat bread toast, a small bowl of vegetable soup, and a bowl of cheerios with blueberries.

I learned something tonight that really surprised me. I haven't ever paid much attention to the sodium content of things while reading labels but, of course, am paying much more attention now. .... Did you know that a serving of canned green beans has 200mg MORE sodium than a serving of Pringles potato chips???? WoW!!

This has been a really hard week, a couple of nights of wondering if I was going to wake up the next morning, one evening where we struggled with deciding to take me to the ER... moments of panic. But, I think the meds are starting to level me out again. I need to not forget this week but keep it close in my mind to spur me on to keep walking and pushing myself.

6 out of 7 ain't bad..

2011-01-09T04:24:00.000-08:00

I worked out Thursday, skipped Friday, but found myself back in front of EA Active again on Saturday!

That's 6 days out of 7!

The diet hasn't been the best, but it is a work in progress.

My blood pressure is already showing signs of compliance! That's the best news of all!

2011-01-05T19:25:00.000-08:00

I walked my mile this morning(two days in a row), then worked in the garden.

I hardly ever eat breakfast (just not a morning person), had an egg sandwich for lunch, salad with grilled chicken for supper and a few triscuits while we watched a movie tonight.

The hardest part for me will be getting the salt out of my diet. I love salt. I love salty things.. chips, crackers, pretzels...

I informed the family there will be no more wieners in our house. Emily loves them and I have been remiss in letting her eat so many of them.. .they are OUT OF HERE. She will be happy with what I give her.

When I get weak I will just remind myself of that BP reading the other night - 174/103!!!

Do it or DIE. you would think that is motivation enough.

1/7th of the way there!

2011-01-05T17:55:00.001-08:00

just finished workout 4 of 28. It feels good to be doing this even when I'd rather be sitting on the couch watching TV!

2011-01-04T17:05:00.001-08:00

3/28....only 25 more days to go! :)

2011-01-03T17:07:00.001-08:00

I worked out today despite every bone in my body telling me not too. It was a very long day at school and I was tired when I got home, but I feel better for having done it.

2/28!

Begining Again (update)

2011-01-02T05:43:00.000-08:00

Because my blood pressure was 143/88 today, and my weight is higher than I want to admit to myself, I've been having the most horrible acid reflux lately, and I feel like crap most days I'm starting again.

I've signed up for the 28-Day Bootcamp Workout Challenge. So for the next 28 days I will log my progress here. The good, the bad, the ugly. Whatever I do or don't do, you will find it here.

For breakfast today I had 2 slices of whole wheat toast, 1 tablespoon of peanut butter, 1 cup of low-fat yogurt, and a cup of coffee.

The weather is oddly warm today, so I will go for a walk.

Anyone want to join me in the challenge?

I made myself workout with the Wii. I use EA Active and did a 22 minute workout. I was sweaty and feeling better about myself for it by the end. :) Workout 1/28 down. I'm committed to working out every day for the next 28 days!

Merry Christmas Girls!

2010-12-23T22:02:00.001-08:00

Merry Christmas, Girls.

From Aola's Blog - I loved it so much I wanted to put it here too

2010-10-15T17:28:00.000-07:00

I AM NOT NEEDED THERE … FIRE, GIVE ME FIRE!

I am not needed.

There are enough scholars arguing both or all sides of everything.

(I always laugh when I hear about “equal time” as though there are only two sides. There are thousands of sides to everything.)

I am not needed there.

There are enough etymologists.

There are others who can use the beautiful words like nosology, tautology, eschatology, exegesis, and omphalos—(not to mention syzygy) even though only five-thousand people worldwide know what those words really mean.

I am not needed there.

There are ever so many beautiful singers, whose voices are sweet or clear or powerful.
And though I love to feel them play my bones,
I am not needed there either.

There are more than enough people busy stirring the pot, taking the high road, knowing all the short cuts,
calling more cooks to supervise the broth, adding more coals to the fire.
There are more than enough who spin evolutionary ideas, who add more to the heap, who fill everything that needs filling, and who are emptying all the things that they believe are in dire need of emptying.

There are enough rolling stones, enough birds in the bushes (though far fewer in the hand).
There are enough of all these.

I am not needed there.

But down at the back of the house at dark, leaning over the great stone sharpening wheel, my old broken shoes fitted to the rusted pedals,
I can make my legs go forever.
I can make my legs go forever.
I can make my legs go forever.

I press the steel blade of every dull knife—not hard against hard, but tender against hard, just right—against this spinning stone. I make fly everywhere in the night, showers of sparks, the little fires that catch often enough, and just right
on various dry old tears,
and old useless memories
stacked as crisp papers in some forlorn attic
under the hairline soffits or in the cornices of the heart.

And this fire sets ablaze whatever is needing warmth…
This fire sets ablaze
And burns away whatever is no longer needed.
Here I have found my place.
Here, I have found my place.
Here I am needed

At this great stone wheel that cannot turn by itself, but only by the bones and blood of the hands and the legs
that can hold to it,
that can hold to it,
that can hold to it.

Working long, tiring, resting,
Working long, tiring, resting,
Working long, tiring, resting,
coming back once more.

Fire! Give me fire!
More! Fire!

Again!
Again!

… Showers of sparks, everywhere!

Aola, There's a Story on "Burning Mouth!"

2010-08-23T22:20:00.001-07:00

http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/

Reality Bites

2010-07-28T12:14:00.000-07:00

I'm fat.
I'm old.
I'm (evidently) not willing to do the work it takes to change that.
I will be 56 years old in a month, that is almost 60! Wow!

Yes, I would like to lose weight but like I said .. evidently it is not important enough for me to actually do something about it. Exercise.

Sometimes I get really depressed about my body shape. When that happens I really let myself go. I dress horribly, don't fix my hair, just generally don't care. But, then I snap and realize that the reality is that this probably isn't going to change and I need to try to be the best old, fat lady I can be.

So,I fix my hair, put on a little make-up, wear something that fits a little nicer and try to be content with the person I am.

2010-06-12T09:14:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to lose weight. Actually trying this time. Not just saying I'm going to try and then eating whatever I want to anyway. I'm a fairly routine eater so each day is pretty much the same:

Breakfast choco-nana-nutter smoothie 300 calories

Lunch turkey ranch wrap with tons of veggies 300 calories

Snack light sugar free yogurt 110 calories
String cheese 70 calories
hard boiled egg 77 calories

Dinner is whatever the family is having but I eat a lot less and don't go back for seconds.

We've put ourselves on a grocery spending limit of $100 a week so we aren't buying soda of any kind anymore. Sorry Diet Coke. I miss you, but we must stick to our budget. Last week we spent $114. That included all of our breakfasts, lunches, and dinners plus diapers, toilet paper, and a sunless tanning lotion that I had a coupon for. Our lunches are always turkey sandwiches or wraps so that was easy to buy for. Our dinners included hamburgers, chicken alfredo, spaghetti, fajitas, grilled chicken, tacos, and chili dogs. I even had enough chicken for three extra meals. It's not a glamorous menu, but it's the food David and Erin will eat. Saving money did require trips to three different grocery stores. Luckily they are all in or near the same shopping center so we didn't have to travel too far out of the way. I'm not sure how much more than this we were spending before, but I know we weren't doing a very good job of keeping track. It feels good to know what we are buying and how much we are paying for it. In a strange way it also seems to help me with the diet.

Death by food or Aola is a big fat wuss.

2010-05-11T08:21:00.000-07:00

I wonder what it is about certain people's personality that makes us have that addictive character? I get that way about the silliest things... foods, games, etc. I'm just really glad I never smoked - I would have never been able to quit.

And, what it is about other people, why they are not? My Dad smoked for 40 years and then just one day decided to stop, laid them down and never picked up another. He never gained weight because if he started getting a little belly he would just stop eating??? why didn't I get some of that???

I'm doing good with the whole not eating of the salty snacks, but, the only reason I am is because there are NO pretzels in the house. It sure as hell isn't because I don't want them. We will see if I can resist buying a bag tonight on our weekly shopping trip. Seriously, I was thinking about running into town because I need to go get dog food and the thought crossed my mind to stop and get a bag of pretzels and eat them all before I came home.... WTF??? Like Mark cares if I eat pretzels??? or the salt wouldn't hurt me if no one knew?????? that is some strange thinking.

Like I said... good thing I never took up smoking.

2010-05-07T19:50:00.000-07:00

I am kind of having a hard time adjusting my diet to life-without-salty-snacks. I knew giving up the pretzels was going to be hard for me and it is. I crave the salty snacks.... a lot. I went down thru the cracker isle and looked at all the labels, Triscuits were one of the lowest sodium snacks I could find but they are high in calories so I have to really limit myself on how many I can have. It leaves me feeling unsatisfied. I know it will level out in time, I just have to push thru these first few days.
I took the diuretic for about two years and I think my body is having to re-adjust to not having it. I have been having some trouble with swelling in my ankles, not bad but noticeable to me.
Lots of changes for an old body like mine, once I get the salt intake down to where it should be and get used to the new medicine I'm hoping these symptoms will go away.
The burning mouth thing is all but gone!! Hallelujah!!! The itchy skin is still a problem though...maybe it is all in my mind... "it's all in your mind Mr. Tweety, it's all in your mind" said with my best British accent (Chicken Run)

I hope you don't mind my whining, it helps me to talk this out as I go

Thanks for being there

2010-05-06T09:14:00.000-07:00

OMGI think I finally did it!! I think I finally found an exercise I enjoy!!

I like weight lifting because it makes me feel strong and I enjoy walking... but I found something that really gets me MOVIN'

lower the shades, lock the door, CRANK UP the classic rock channel and DANCE!!!!

crazy, wild uninhibited dancing, just letting the music move me. Wow! that was fun.

I only made it through one song this morning, Suzie Q by CCR but it got my heart racing and I loved it. It wasn't drudgery.

YIPPEE!!!

now my family is going to think I am crazy for sure. hee hee hee hee

2010-05-02T20:27:00.000-07:00

Although my eating habits are pretty healthy most of the time, I tend to slip off into some not-so-good eating habits sometimes.. .so, once again, I am weeding things out that are not good for me and trying to add in some that are. For instance: I finally went to the doctor and got my blood pressure medication changed to one without a diuretic. Now, let's just keep our fingers crossed that it actually relives some of these crazy symptoms. And, I have once again eliminated soda pop out of my diet. I have a hard time feeling guilty about drinking caffeine free diet coke but still I want to be rid of it. I am trying to eliminate one thing at a time to see if I can find a way to feel better. At my age I know there are some aches and pains that go along with age but I should feel better than I do. My goal, as usual, is optimal health not weight loss - I have pretty much given up on weight loss. Optimal health comes with having an immune system strong enough to fight off whatever is not supposed to be going on in your body. As you age, your immune system gets weaker .. unless you keep it feed lots of nutrients.

BUT.. I have had a revelation, well, it is really not anything new but it has kind of hit me in a new way.

Bottom line is that if I don't start and maintain an exercise program I am never again going to have optimal health. I don't care how healthy I eat, it is not enough.

So, I am at this teetering point of making that happen or just giving up. That's how bad I hate to exercise and I am not a lazy person, I just hate to exercise, always have. My sister talked me into going to an aerobics class with her a long time ago - I would get drunk and go or get high and go and it was always just a joke to me. I made fun of the women and their leggings and cutesy outfits... Trudy finally made me quit going with her :)

I read tonight that joint aches are yet another symptom of menopause and it may or may not be arthritis that is causing me to hurt so bad. Mark thinks that is good news, I'm not so sure.

The next thing to go will be my stick pretzels. This one I dread. The pop has been easy to do without, the pretzels I will miss!! It means I just flat cannot buy them or have them in the house because I cannot resist them.

Getting old just SUCKS.

Completely off subject, but...

2010-04-27T14:52:00.000-07:00

Girls, I can't find the damn keys I've been looking for for weeks now. Found out today they will cost $250 to replace if I can't find them. Please send "finder" vibes/prayers my way! I am so frustrated.

Wanna hear another thing I am irritated about? I knew you did. Sometimes I feel like I have too many issues with food now to ever have a healthy relationship with it or with my body. That sucks.

Feel free to post your frustrations in the comments section. Ha!

2010-04-18T18:02:00.000-07:00

I bought the cutest little book today. It's called The Book of Fun for Moms or something like that, written by a young mother who was trying to learn to cope with having two babies 17 months apart (sound familiar?) It is full of fun things to do with your kids and as a family. It made me feel good because I have done most of them with my kids at one time or another. I'm going to read thru it and then give it to Christi because I am quiet sure she is going to need a little fun in her life soon :)

I also bought the cutest flip flops, I was sooo tickled to find them at Sam's for 12.98!! I had been looking on zappos and the prices were ridiculous. I had a hard time just picking one style, will probably buy another pair or two next month if they still have them.

Please, please read

2010-04-15T21:45:00.000-07:00

Just finished another really good book:

Live a Little: Breaking the Rules Won't Break Your Health by Susan Love and Alice Domar with Leigh Ann Hirschman. It was sooooo good, gals.

The authors write about what you can do to be "pretty healthy" rather than giving tons of do's and don't or even dieting advice. This book is helping me RELAX about my health and not feel bad if I miss a little sleep or don't eat perfectly or exercise every day. Got it at my local library--maybe you can, too.

Back in the Blogosphere

2010-04-15T15:52:00.001-07:00

I've missed reading these blogs, but just didn't have 'the time anymore'. Now that I've given up my two huge time-wasting Facebook pasttimes, I feel like I have all the time in the world.

So, my own blog will have a little content in it now, and I just wanted to say 'I'm back!'

2010-04-14T14:43:00.000-07:00

I try to time my Estee Lauder purchases so that I always get the free gift they give away twice a year. Recently, I did just that and in the gift package was one of those unbelievably expensive line-plumping eye treatments so I thought, what the heck I might as well try it. Boy, was that a mistake. I don't guess I thought the whole line-plumping thing through. I was just thinking Wow, if there is anything that could make my under eye area look better I should try it. Never again. I put it on with my nightly moisturizer and the next morning... HOLY COW... the normal bags I have under my eyes looked like inflated air bags!! Bags are bad enough but INFLATED BAGS are bad, bad. So much for the anti-aging line plumping.. HA!

But, I am trying a new skin regime for this summer. I went on line to www. olayforyou.com, went through the questions and have been buying one item at a time the products they suggested. I love the Definity scrub and just started using the night cream last night. It is supposed to help with age spots and discoloration.. we will see. It's quiet a splurge for me but since I am outside so much in the summer I thought I should do it. I'm worth it, right?

Anyone buying any new summer clothes or shoes or make-up so far this season or is everyone pinching pennies like we are?

Reality

2010-04-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

I'm sitting in the break room at work enjoying my turkey, veggie, & mustard on whole wheat sandwich when in walk to of my co-workers with McDonald's meals complete with fries and soda. Neither of these ladies weigh more than a buck twenty and one weighs substantially less. She's so thin that her goal for Wii fit is to gain weight, yes you heard that right. She wants to gain weight and has been shoveling down the ice cream to accomplish her goal. We had a brief conversation about weight wherein I explained my recent try at running, and they both confessed that they couldn't run and that neither of them did anything beyond the physical activity they do at work to stay thin. And it hits me. Weight is not fair, and the playing field of weight loss is not equal. Some people will go their entire lives without having to put in half of the effort of others and will be thin regardless of their lack of effort. Others, like me, will work very hard for every ounce they lose. Some can eat whatever they want whenever they want to and it will never catch up to them. Others can gain a pound just by looking at chocolate cake, at least it feels that way sometimes.

In the past month my weight has not budged, but I will not give up hope or stop trying.

i'm doing good, how 'bout you?

2010-04-09T11:39:00.000-07:00

The change in weather has been good for me. I am feeling better mentally and physically. Of course, there is always sinus/allergy stuff to deal with in Oklahoma and especially this time of year but mine hasn't been too bad.
I am busy outside, a lot. The mowing has begun, flower beds to work in and a slow start in the vegetable garden and just sitting. I love to just sit in the sun with my feet in the clover. We are all enjoying watching Zoe discover the world of outdoors. She's going to be a wild one.
I am eating lighter and better, the being busy helps me not to nibble quiet so much. No weight loss, of course, but, I still feel better about myself.
I dedicate some time every day to some sort of exercise - take a walk, do some yoga type stretching exercises, or weight bearing and that also makes me feel better.
Business is better which really helps my attitude and our home/family life is wonderful.

So, in general, life is good.

2010-03-27T22:10:00.000-07:00

You know, I just don't get it? I really don't.
I mean, I am not a totally undisciplined person. I do get things done, but, for some reason that I don't understand at all I just can't lose weight. I cannot control my eating habits. I can make myself eat healthy food I just can't make myself not eat too much. I just can't do it. When I'm not really hungry, when I know I don't need it, even when I hate myself for it I still eat. I don't eat huge amounts of food, I just eat all the time. I'm a nibbler. It's a bite here and bite there, a handful of pretzels or nuts, a slice of cheese, a this or a that. I do pretty well in the mornings, a lot of time not eating anything until lunch time but once I take that first bite, once I have breakfast .. it's over. I think that is part of the reason I stay out here in the office on the computer so much. I don't eat when I'm out here and I never bring food in here and I'm fine.

I can even control it for a while, a few days or weeks maybe and then when I don't ever see results I give up,get where I just don't care and I eat.

I hate being this fat. I hate not being comfortable in clothes. I would love to buy new clothes and look good but I can't seem to make myself care enough to do something about it.

Don't get it?

I just don't get it?

2010-03-23T08:34:00.000-07:00

I am on day four of my cleanse, not sure I will continue (at least as stictly) much longer. The cleanse is definitely working... I even started my period which I am not sure if that's a good or bad sign since I haven't had one in over six months... will this never be over???
I have held to the plan better this time than any other cleanse I've ever done with almost no slip-ups. Funny, the one thing that has been hardest for me to resist is my stick pretzels.. meat, I can do without, sugar, hasn't been too bad, but OMG those pretzels have haunted me.
I have not been hungry at all. I've eaten LOTS of high fiber, high nutrient foods that have very little calories so no hunger, but, don't feel satisfied either.

I'll just see how my day goes.

Spring cleaning

2010-03-20T13:12:00.000-07:00

It has been an unusually long,cold winter for us along with lots of sickness, lots of sickness as you know since you've heard me whine about it all winter long. And, here it is March 20 and we are still having cold, snowy, wet weather and Seth has yet another cold .. meaning we are all fixing to get it... again.

I'm thinking it is time along with the spring equinox to do a cleanse. I need it so badly.

Have any of you ever tried those detox patches you put on your feet? I was just wondering how well they work.

I'm thinking... lots of fresh veggies, juice, water, whole grains and no sugar, refined carbs or meat (maybe fish) for at least a week. I really don't like brown rice but I could manage it for a week, surely.

Lots of vitamins and supplements and maybe buy myself a case of gogi juice .. it is pretty pricey, but, I am worth it.

Anyone want to do it with me? Any thoughts or suggestions?

Just finished reading...

2010-03-14T23:57:00.000-07:00

Angry Fat Girls by Frances Kuffel.

Reminded me a lot of our little community here and saw myself in many of the ladies' struggles. You guys might like it. (The writing is pretty good, although there were some annoying parts, too: the writer is perhaps a little too honest--i.e., mean--about her fellow angry fat girls, and it can be irritating to read "who said what on what blog and when." Kind of feels like reading about a party to which you were not invited.)

I suck at losing weight.

2010-03-12T20:34:00.000-08:00

I don't know what my problem is. I can't seem to get my eating under control. I think that I used food as a crutch during the last year and ended up with a fairly serious emotional addiction to food.

I'm so frustrated at myself for letting this happen. I know that doesn't really do any good, but it's the truth.

I could really use some motivation vibes!

Thanks ladies.

Update: I visited SparkPeople and found some helpful information on emotional eating. http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_articles.asp?id=693 I made a little sign to hang on the fridge that says "STOP! Take 5 minutes to relax by reading, listening to music, or going for a short walk. Ask yourself if you are really hungry or if you need comfort." I also put a little list on the side that says "Feel it! Express it! Move past it!"

I can't really go into detail about some of the emotional issues I'm having and perhaps the inability to discuss it either virtually or in person has led to this emotional eating. It feels like the last 5 months have had a domino effect. One very significant thing happened and then I just began to bottle everything up. I knew that I was too numb when I didn't even cry over the recent loss of our cat.

It literally feels like I've been walking on egg shells around myself. So afraid that the smallest amount of giving in would mean everything would come tumbling in on me.

2010-03-01T18:20:00.000-08:00

Took Emily to the doctor again today for a follow-up visit, since she is just not getting over the cough. He gave her a new antibiotic which I may or may not try and renewed the prescription for her cough syrup. I also got something for nausea since she started throwing up as soon as we walked out of the office... I'm thinking maybe it was nerves.

Anyway... I was so happy for her. SHE LOST 9 POUNDS IN A WEEK!! I suppose it was from being sick although I did change a few things in her diet over the past couple of weeks.

Way to go Ms Emily!!

2010-02-19T07:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, I officially hate Levi now.

Two weeks, two freaking weeks.

He decides to get in shape, for two weeks he has been upping his protein intake and working out at the gym at work.... two measly weeks.

He has gained 8 pounds of bulk and looks absolutely ... well, I don't want to say fabulous because that kind of makes him sound gay and I don't want to say HOT because he's my kid but the boy looks GOOD. He came over last night, he had on a new pair of jeans that fight tighter than he normally wears and I couldn't believe how muscular his legs and butt looked. Levi has never had a butt before!!

Two weeks.

But, he and Seth working out so hard has inspired me to try once again. Over the winter months and yet another change in blood pressure medication I have gained quiet a bit of weight. So, I am counting calories... UCK! and paying more attention to what I eat and as soon as our ground dries up just a little I am going to start walking again.

Two weeks. Boys.

2010-01-10T21:12:00.000-08:00

I really miss all of you. Since we don't blog anymore I don't feel like I know what is going on in any of your lives and I miss knowing how you are and what you are doing and how the babies are changing and growing. I miss Cara's wit and wisdom and Jeanne's grace for each of us. I miss Erica's mystery ... I guess all things are or at least most things are just for a season.

2009-12-11T21:59:00.000-08:00

No wonder I get to this point of just wanting to give up, to go ahead and eat myself into oblivion...

for the past two weeks I have been forcing myself (and it has been hard) to not eat anything after supper. We eat at about 6:00 every night and I don't go to bed sometimes 'til 1:00 or 1:30 so that's a long time to not snack on anything (the most I've had is a few stick pretzels and ONE night I fell off the wagon and ate some yogurt)

and the result....

I GAINED WEIGHT!!

It seems like no matter what I try, it doesn't work or it doesn't work for long. If I do manage to lose a pound or two I gain it back. So, once again, I don't know why I even try.

call me crazy

2009-11-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

but I am thinking about getting The Biggest Loser game for the Wii. I thought it would be something fun for Erin and I to do together. We can even challenge each other. She doesn't need to lose any weight, but I've noticed that her stamina isn't so great. Plus it would be fun for us. She seems pretty interested in it. We don't have the fitness board, but it says you don't have to have it. What do you think?

2009-11-02T16:27:00.000-08:00

Try ..try...try again! Right? I'm back on the wagon. I'm not drinking anymore soda and I'm going to really pay attention to what I'm eating and when. I've got to get this under control now!

La

2009-10-14T00:20:00.001-07:00

She called tonight, it was late but i had been awake shortly before. it was almost three a.m. and she texted

that something unspeakably horrible had happened.

I have known this girl, this little China-pet as I call her, for some time now. We worked together. When she started dating him, I knew it was a fling. It was something she was doing because she is young- he is inappropriate, but temporary, and I felt she was entitled to her youth.

She is out of his league, looks-wise, too pretty and young, socio-economically from a stable family who sent her to private highschool and now she's an art major at the best school in my hometown.

I didn't like her at first, something about her was off-puttingly intense. She seemed to stare at me from kohl-rimmed deep-set blue eyes.

But that was so long ago now.
She won me over. She tried and that was enough for me. It is much too hard for me to actively dislike someone. It isn't in my nature and she is wonderful. she is my own personal Alice from Wonderland.

oh, the many silly games we play. and the many truths we tell, the nonsense we smoke, and the hope and faith we share.

He beat the shit out of her tonight.

By friday, I'll have his head on a plate.

Dinners this Week

2009-09-17T06:32:00.000-07:00

last night: Arugula and Steak Salad + Eggplant Stir-fry by Chris
tonight: pizza! prosciutto and arugula
tomorrow: mustard chicken+ broccoli
mango chicken tacos, tuna farfalle and shrimp arrabiata to follow.

For my next menu: i need your most favorite CHEAP dinner recipes.

much obliged to you,
e

mathological

2009-09-16T12:59:00.000-07:00

hello, dahlings!
wondering if you could do me a favor.
I have estimated, and proven now three times, that I spend about 25 dollars/per day for groceries, not including any alcohol- but all breakfasts, lunches and dinners included.

today I shopped for 6 days and spent $155. I want to see if my bill is really so very high, compared to you guys who, they would say, live in more affordable areas than Boston.

For six-seven days I seem to always spend $30 on produce.

k, what about you all?
love.

there's somethin' happenin' here

2009-09-09T21:26:00.000-07:00

I have not fully committed myself to better eating. Having visitors seems to make that task even more difficult. I am thinking about healthy eating/living more. I find myself choosing not to have ice cream or ordering water instead of coke. These are not big things, but they are a start. I'm looking forward to David's schedule change and the changes that will mean. He'll be home in the evening so dinner will be more thought out. With just Erin and I there was a tendency to throw something together at the last minute. He won't be coming home at the insane hour of 2a.m. anymore which means my sleep habits will change drastically. This is the part I'm most excited about! I know that sleep is the key to so many health issues. My hope is that life will begin to take on some form of regularity and that it will translate to better eating habits. If nothing else, he won't be home for breakfast anymore which will mean I'm far less likely to make pancakes, french toast, or waffles.
Something I find interesting is that my weight has not fluctuated since a few weeks after having Hayden. I did initially drop a few lbs while in the hospital, but those came back. I didn't even lose any weight while in the hospital for OHS or the week long ordeal with pericarditis. Nor did I gain any after surgery which was a huge surprise to me considering all of the restrictions I had. Throughout this time I haven't really watched what I was eating that much. If I wanted something I ate it. During the time between Hayden's birth and the surgery I stress ate a lot, but I stopped that after surgery. The only modification to my diet was lowering sodium, but I'm not a big salt eater anyway so I'm not sure that was much of a change. One thing I do consume more of these days is Coke. Other than that I find that I don't over eat but I do eat what I feel like having. It's just crazy to me that all of this eating with no exercising hasn't equaled weight gain.

2009-09-09T20:27:00.000-07:00

I've been a little out of the loop lately, since Mark's kidney stone attack on Friday night. I have felt like I was in another world being in and out of the hospital, up all night several nights with him and trying to get some sleep during the day. It really messed up what Em and I had going. I did get the South Beach diet book and read through it quickly. I decided it was just too much for me to put on Emily all at once so I did make some adjustments to her diet. We have been cutting out carbs here and there and add some extra protein. She has not complained one little bit so far. We have been a little off track for the past few days but I will get back into the groove soon. I've been walking regularly since our weather has been so nice. Seth wants to get a treadmill for this winter, we'll see if we can work that into our budget. I have talked with a personal trainer friend of mine about Emily but so far he has been of little help. I understand nutrition as well as he does. Mark and I have talked about toning beds.

So,we are making progress, little bitty steps in the right direction. Now, if we can just see results from it.

and the saga continues:

2009-09-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

i have been in Boston for six days now and i am enjoying it. i have cleaned out my restroom (threw away a bunch of old-medicine and make-up) and cleaned out our closet. Both Chris and i have too many clothes for the size constraints of our storage areas, so i have two big bags of clothes glowing to Boomerangs- the thrift shop in town whose proceeds go to AIDS research,etc. it feels fantastic to prune our wardrobes, but it isn't easy for me to do. i tend to want to keep anything that isn't torn or stained. This was the first time i had to let go of items because, for instance, they have always fit a little too big, or the sweater looks faded... you know... stuff i could have continued to wear and would-have, if i had more space.

Some people think that clutter makes it hard to lose weight, do you?

I went to the grocery store again yesterday. I told Chris that for me grocery-shopping is always fun and makes me feel rooted in my location. he doesn't get that, he hates grocery-shopping. i have been making specific lists and taking a calculator. WOW! it makes the event super organized and quick, we get exactly what we need, rarely anything gets capriciously added, and we CONTROL the cost. it makes the experience totally AWESOME for me-- the tally makes me understand exactly how much money is being spent and why-- all intentionally, you see. i usually hate spending $100 anywhere all together.

This time we were shopping for four days and spent $63. not bad, though we will have to spend $10 on smaller-market produce. We went yesterday, Labor Day, so the produce was already seriously picked-over by the time we got there. no strawberries, no cilantro, and all the avocadoes were really mushy. So $73 for four days? not bad. we spent more last time.

i weigh less now. ten pounds less than right this minute would be as little as i need to weigh. it would be in my You GO GIRL! range.
remember when we used to say that? my FIL still says it. TEN POUNDS! it is my goal! FYI: minus five pounds from here is where i was when i got pregs with Jujie. Minus TEN-- which is the goal-- is my wedding day weight. cool, right?

i read an article on TIME.com yesterday called "Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin".
While the article does say that exercise is good for a lot of health-markers, it does not make one lose weight. Basically, the article refers to exercise as we now know it, 30-60 minutes in the gym. it asserts that when we work out, we compensate for the loss of energy by either eating more or moving less throughout the day. The article suggests that we then strive to maintain a more active lifestyle- gardening, using the stairs, running for the T (in my case) and eat sensibly. If you have time, read it and let me know what you think.

Since i have an easier time eating well than exercising regularly, i like it.=)

how are you doing, healthwise? A: how is SouthBeach going? sleeping any?

Boston&

2009-09-05T08:50:00.001-07:00

I am in Boston now and, finally, in charge of my own kitchen. We are eating eggs or cereal for bfast, turkey or ham wraps for lunch, and planned dinners. It isn't cheap at the grocery store, this bare-bones-but-healthy menu, but i have to admit it is still less expensive and less caloric than eating out.

We have this charming bakery 1 block away from us and i bought myself a little pastry there, a blueberry galette. It was delicious, slightly heated, with milk. last night i made Chris' favorite: orange peel beef. I use low-sodium soy sauce, fresh veggies for the stir-fry, and whole wheat pasta so it was pretty healthy. Tonight, it is grilled chicken, veggies and wild rice.

I am of the opinion, as it matches my experience, that eating healthy is redundant. You'll notice that we're eating wraps everyday for lunch-- for four days. My wraps have turkey, havarti, bell pepper, sprouts and avocado. the ham option gets a yummy artichoke and hummus spread in it. Wraps are easy and i think they cost about $2.25 per wrap. But the ingredients are most cost-effective for us if we eat them daily after we buy them, else we spend money elsewhere while they get less fresh and healthy and less appetizing and then, after a week, i don't want to eat them at all. The best wraps are made in succession, daily, with the veggies still pretty, and they are really REALLY healthy for us. (I think that eating bad food also gets repetitive...there are times i am tired of hamburgers and chinese food, but i actually get it ANYWAY because it is convenient and cheap and habit.) funny, huh? So i just accept that eating healthier and conveniently and cheaply will involve less variety. If it really starts to bug me, and i know it might, i will be forced to get more creative. but for right now, this'll work.

i guess what i could have said is that i think for me, success in the venture is greatly aided by CONVENIENCE! and for me, convenience is Repetition. and, it might be important to note: i love to grocery shop and aim to do so twice a week so that I don't intend to eat exactly the same thing for more than four days in a row.

This works for me, but what is it that works for you?

2009-09-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

Thank you ladies for your encouragement. It does help, a lot. Since it will be a few days before I get the South Beach Diet book I pulled out one I already owned - The Insulin Resistance Diet and started implementing it into our diets today. I'm sure there will be many more changes to come but so far Emily has not complained too much.
She did turn her nose up at the boiled egg I put on her breakfast plate this morning, but, she ate it. She eats small amounts of food five or six times a day.
The real challenge is that she already eats well and still gains so I'm not sure what we will have to do to actually see results. But, we will give it a go and see what happens.

It really does help me to be able to talk about here. Mark supports me 100% in this but it's just different to be able to talk to you guys about it.

2009-08-31T14:17:00.000-07:00

Okay, I have made a decision and it was not an easy decision to make either.

I worry constantly about Emily's health and mine has not been good lately either. Normally, I can get things (illnesses)under control quickly by eating right and taking the right supplements and exercise but for the past year I have not been able to. I was not able to get my blood pressure down and have been on meds for about six months and they make me feel like crap. I have had this same nagging cough for over three months now and it just won't go away...

Emily just sits back there in her room and gets fatter by the day. Cutting calories didn't work, she can't exercise... I worry about her breathing and her heart and diabetes.

Today I started doing some reading and research about diabetes and insulin resistance. I read that the closest "diet" book out there for IR diet is the South Beach Diet so...

I ordered the book and I am going to put myself and Emily on the diet and stick to it for at least six months to see if it helps her. I know it will be good for me and if she has to do it so do I.

She is going to hate me. We are going to fight. She won't understand why. But, I am determined to do this.

So, say a little prayer (if that's what you do) or wish me luck or at least think about us as we struggle to get this under control.

2009-08-30T19:05:00.000-07:00

Doing really good with the eating well and exercising now. I exercise almost every day. Can't believe it's been three plus weeks since I had ice cream, fast food, soda or candy. Woo-woo!

I've lost 10 lbs, too (since I last checked which was probably about six weeks or so ago). It's not really about poundage (in my opinion), but it does feel good to see that on the scale. I have a ways to go, but my clothes are getting looser (bra, pants, etc.) and my belt is getting tighter. Plus, the people close to me (J, Missi, Mom and Dad) have noticed a change and that's cool.

And you know what keeps coming to my mind: I am actually being "selfish" in a healthy way right now. I am doing what is truly in my best interest (rather than what I used to think was in my best interest--pigging out). Funny how a simple change of mind can really affect you.

Love to you all.

2009-08-27T19:37:00.000-07:00

about an hour before dark when the temperature had dropped a little I changed my shoes and got ready to go for my walk which would make two days in a row - yeah, me. I walked out the door and it was beginning to rain. "Ah, to hell with it, I'm going walking anyway."

and I did.

I am going to try to get to the doctor next week and have him change my BP meds. The one I take has a diuretic in it and he seems to think it may be a part of the reason for the cough that still hasn't gone away. I haven't been taking it this week at all and I'm wondering if that is why I feel so bloated today?

Off to Tulsa tomorrow, I will get my walking in at the mall :)

love you lots

2009-08-26T13:13:00.000-07:00

well.... I did walk this morning but I am not sure there was anything healthy about it. It was an angry, I-need-to-go-walk-this-off-before-I-kill-someone walk. It was faster than normal which I'm sure was good for me, even though I don't know how being that angry could ever be healthy.

Then, later, when I calmed down I was so worn out with the anger that I took an hour long nap.. which never happens. Usually my naps, if I ever get one, are power naps - 10 or 15 minutes at the most.

So, maybe the getting stupidly angry wasn't so bad after all.

'Round Here:

2009-08-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

Ha ha. that title could be clever, huh?

Well, i wanted to tell you all that last night as i lay in bed, while i was drifting off to sleep I started thinking about everything I had eaten. i started thanking myself for the restraint i did show (not much) and asking myself to eat four oreos not six, next time, that is.

And then i really woke up and i was so happy that i was being so nice to myself, even in my sleep, and happier still that i have begun so internalizing my goal that i was going over the days calories without force.

how are you nice to yourselves?

love.

2009-08-24T22:43:00.000-07:00

The good: I have been walking more!

The bad: I have not been going to bed on time ( as is evident with this post) and I have an addiction to coke. Unfortunately it's the beverage variety and not the powdery white stuff that could help with weight loss.

I feel like I don't even know how to start this time! Life is so full of chaos right now and that is an awful excuse, but I just don't feel like I have any bit of routine to use as a starting point. Every time I try to carve something out something else pops up. David did apply for a new job that would give him normal hours and weekends off. That could be the beginning of a normal schedule if he gets it. It must sound like I'm full of excuses and maybe I am. It just feels like I'm always running from one thing to the next and trying to juggle a healthy diet and workout on top of all this running has me tired before I even start.

I know, it's about putting me first, but I'm not sure how to do that with an 11 month old and a 13 year-old.

I'll find a way. I have to do this for them and for me! So, starting tomorrow it's an 11 o'clock bed time for me. I don't care how many photos need editing or what house work is left undone.

So Far. . .

2009-08-22T08:10:00.000-07:00

my eating habits are shifting back to a little healthier. I have been to Jason's deli twice when i would have gone somewhere else. I had a salad yesterday at Chili's. you'll notice the trend: i am eating out a lot. it is really hard to control your weight under those circumstances.

Still, i feel that unless I had been weighing myself every morning-- something I was unable to do during the month i was on the road-- aha!-- i would still be in a binging state and gaining weight.

I expect three pounds to come off relatively easily over the next week and a half (when I will fly to boston) and then I will begin a real attempt to lose ten pounds. September and October! seven week to lose ten pounds at that point. I will be walking all around Boston and totally in-charge of my own kitchen. it is highly possible.

On A's blog she posts about not getting sleep.
This is a huge huge deal when it comes to weight maintenance and loss, and as she mentions, her disrupted sleep patterns create a disharmony to the time kept in her home-- she and Em are in a different world.

A: please please focus on getting back onto a decent sleep schedule before you attempt weight loss. it is more important. I would like to read about how you attempt to do so, so please write it all out...

love you all.

Uncanny

2009-08-21T10:26:00.000-07:00

How we all seem to be thinking about this! I haven't checked this blog in a while--bad, I know. It's good to see you guys on here again.

About two weeks ago, I was doing some researching online about overeating/addictive behaviors. Yep, I answered a lot of those overeater anonymous questions with a big fat yes. Not good.

Long story short, I found an interesting "theory"--it's something I've been trying to do in my daily life and I'm telling you, my eating and motivation and exercising has gotten so much better. It's based on something called "addictive voice recognition therapy" (AVRT). The basic premise is that when we have an addiction to something (unhealthy food, drugs, alcohol), we have an addictive voice (sometimes they call it The Beast) who is constantly telling us to consume that substance. The real you is the one that wants to be healthy. If you can recognize that addictive voice and realize it has no power over you (over your body, over your limbs, over your mind) and ignore its siren song, you can gain power and control over your addiction.

The real me wants to be healthy for so many reasons--more energy, a good example for Alyssa, a better, stronger body. The Beast just wants me to take the easy way out every time--wants me to eat to deal with sad/bad feelings--wants me to eat, eat, eat until I'm stuffed. I'm telling the Beast to leave me alone.

For overeaters, another aspect of this is "playing TAPS" for your Beast. Basically setting up some rules for yourself in regard to:
T-Time
A-Amount
P-Place
S-Substance

I've basically told myself, no eating after 7:30 p.m. or eating in my car. This gets rid of fast food and the constant desire I had to leave the house after Alyssa went to bed to get something fatty and sweet. Seriously, sometimes I was consuming 500-1,000 calories in the evenings and going to bed with an upset stomach. As far as amount goes, I am just working on eating to satisfaction, not overwhelming fullness/stuffing myself like I was.

I haven't put any restrictions on myself for substance, but I have had about three (very minor) sweet treats in the last two weeks--before it was about three treats each day--and no fast food--and I was eating a LOT of fast food. Eating sweets and fast food just doesn't get the Real Me anywhere near my goals--and that's why I'm not eating them.

Girls, I resisted free onion rings. Dude.

:)

I don't know enough about this to recommend it to everyone, but I know it's working for me right now. (I've ordered the book for this, but I haven't received it yet; I'm just going off what I learned on the website.) But let me tell you, ladies, this has improved my eating by TONS. I used to shoot for 90% good foods--it was usually more around 50% and some days less. (Ugh, just admitting that is hard.) Now I'm eating about 95% healthy foods all the time. I was eating a LOT of junk--and this has really helped me.

I haven't really lost much weight, but I've gone down a notch on my belt, my stomach feels less puffy--and frankly, I just feel better. I'm not as swollen. I have more energy at the gym (and I'm making it to the gym and out walking and doing yoga more) and all day long. I am even thinking about getting off caffeine. Eeeek.

Anyway, just wanted to share that with you gals. If it helps, cool. If not, no biggie.

I admire that you all are so open about what you are going through and that I have you to share with. Love you girls!

2009-08-20T19:14:00.000-07:00

I have walked three times this week and hope to go again in the morning, not bad. I even increased the time on the last walk.
My eating has been hit and miss.. I do really well and then follow it up with junk.

I had a dream the other night that I was shopping for a dress and the only one that would fit me was a size 25. Weird dream, I know, but, I woke up feeling so bad about myself. It has kind of stuck with me all week.

There are times when I would like to dress up or at least dress better and then I get this feeling of "why bother" "no matter what I put on I am still going to look fat and ugly"

I know this is not supposed to be about weight but sometimes I can't help but let it bother me.. but it never bothers me enough to actually do something about it. I just feel bad and keep on doing the same things.

I bought a new pair of dark wash jeans from Lane Bryant. They have this stupid new sizing chart where you put in your measurements and they give you your new size. I bought size 5 jeans. What?? They think they are going to fool women into believing they are not fat just by changing the sizes? The size 5's were too big in the waist even after giving them measurements. I sent them back.

I did walk right on by the bakery department at Sam's today while everyone was ooohhing and aaawwing over the baked goods. Yeah Me!

I will get up in the morning and go walk. I will drink water at least half of the time. I will try to nibble on grapes instead of chips (I only bought fat free anyway)
I will keep trying. I will.

seriously,

2009-08-16T21:38:00.000-07:00

this could not have come at a better time. I find myself, at this very moment, about fifteen pounds over my ideal weight. My ideal weight has a five pound grace limit right above it, so that I am ten pounds over my acceptable grace weight. geez.
Ten POUNDS> maybe it doesn't seem like much. it is. the real goal should be the fifteen pounds.

You know, until recently, I was five pounds thinner than i am now. FOR LIKE A YEAR! A YEAR! but then, i just started eating whatever I wanted to, which normally is fine for me, but i started eating dessert a lot, all of a sudden.

I am on this train. more later.

2009-08-16T21:26:00.000-07:00

Big plans this week. I'm going to start walking. It's been rather warm and muggy here so my step-sister and I are going to be walking in the evenings. This works out well since I work mornings. Wish me luck!

You'll notice this post comes well after my 11 o'clock bed time. I can't sleep. It's so hard for me to sleep when David isn't here.

2009-08-14T10:32:00.000-07:00

so, ladies, how has your week been? I've made small changes, nothing drastic or world changing but I feel better about it. I didn't walk every day like I hoped to and I didn't eat all healthy foods but I figure that any little improvement helps. I had a junior whopper on Wednesday night but that was the only eating out we have done this week. I drank more water and less pop. I took my vitamins.

now, if I could just get around to shaving my legs... :)

I love you guys.

Going deep

2009-08-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

Last night I went to bed at eleven but couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned wondering why it feels different this time. In the past I've always felt the desire/urge to get healthy and lose weight. This time there is nothing. So I searched last night for the answer and it came. The truth is I'm so angry about this scar on my chest not just because it's a blazing red signal to everyone of what I consider a private matter, but because, for me, it symbolizes my bodies ability to turn on me, to let me down.
I've never considered myself a vain person, but maybe I am. I hate having it. I hate that no matter how healthy I am or how much weight I lose I will have a scar that belongs on a 70 year-old's body when I am only 30. I hate that I put on a shirt with a v-neck and take it off because the nasty voice inside me says "Yuck! No one should have to look at that!". I hate that it is there to remind me of one of the most scary times of my life. I know it speaks of healing and of making it through and of courage, but it also speaks of the opposites of those things.
Mostly, it reminds me that doing all of these things to make myself more healthy will tip the scale in favor of me being and staying healthy but it in no way guarantees I'll stay that way.

Super Foods

2009-08-09T20:46:00.000-07:00

Here is the list of Super Foods:

Dark Chocolate (100 calories or 2 small nuggets)
Citrus fruits - lemons, grapefruit, limes, etc.
Kiwi
Blueberries - grapes, cranberries, raspberries, strawberries, cherries
Apples, pears
Plums, pomegranates
Pumpkin, carrots, sweet potatoes
Beans (all kinds)
Tomatoes
Soy (all soy products including edema, soy nuts, soy milk, tofu, etc.)
Avocado
Garlic
Broccoli (all brassicas including brussel sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower)
Oats, flaxseed (all whole grains including wild rice, barley, couscous, etc.)
Nuts (all kinds)
Honey
Tea
Yogurt
Salmon, albacore
Turkey
Chicken breast
Cinnamon
Black Pepper
Turmeric
Oregano
Olive oi, canola oil

That is a lot of variety for healthy eating. No one should feel deprived with this much choice.

Now if I can just stay away from the bologna and chips :)

2009-08-09T20:43:00.000-07:00

The Good Protein Chart

Protein can help you shed those unwanted pounds and keep your belly full. But it's important to eat the right amount and the right kind of protein to get the health benefits.
Fish & Seafood

Seafood is one of the best sources of protein because it's usually low in fat. Fish such as salmon is a little higher in fat but it is the heart-healthy kind: omega-3 fatty acids.
White-Meat Poultry

Stick to the white meat of poultry for excellent, lean protein. Dark meat is higher in fat. The skin is loaded with saturated fat, so remove skin before cooking.
Milk, Cheese Yogurt

Not only are dairy foods excellent sources of protein but they also contain valuable calcium. Choose skim or low fat dairy to keep bones and teeth strong, prevent osteoporosis and enhance weight loss.
Eggs

Eggs are one of the least expensive forms of protein. The American Heart Association says normal healthy adults can safely enjoy an egg a day.
Beans

One-half cup of beans contains as much protein as 3 ounces of broiled steak. Plus, these nutritious nuggets are loaded with fiber to keep you feeling full for hours.
Pork Tenderloin

This great and versatile white meat is 31% leaner than 20 years ago.
Soy

Twenty five grams of soy protein daily can help lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of heart disease. Combine soy protein foods like tofu with a healthy low fat diet.
Lean Beef

Lean beef has only one more gram of saturated fat than a skinless chicken breast. Lean beef is also an excellent source of zinc, iron and vitamin B12.
Protein on the Go

Grab a meal replacement drink, cereal bar or energy bar. Check the label to be sure the product contains at least 6 grams of protein, and is low in sugar and fat.

the url for this is: www.webmd.com/content/Article/85/98576.htm

2009-08-09T19:36:00.000-07:00

Here are a couple of links to healthy drive through choices. It may not be the best, but at least you know you can chose healthfully while at the drive though.

http://www.relishmag.com/drjo/21039.html

http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/nutrition_articles.asp?id=480

Luckily I'm nowhere near a drive through so it's a little easier to make meals. What I used to do when I was eating on a different meal plan than David and Erin was make a batch of grilled chicken on Sunday that would last through the week. I'd slice it up and throw it in a salad. I kept those bags of tossed salad in the fridge along with my favorite salad dressing. It was great especially in the summer! I just threw it together and ate.

I'm wondering what your thoughts are on food choices. I know it's good to have a wide variety, but it seems that if I have more than a few options I just end up eating a little of everything! When I lost weight/got healthier in the past I had the same thing for breakfast and lunch and then had a handful of things I switched around for snacks and dinner was almost always a grilled chicken or fish, veggies, and a baked sweet potato. Is that enough variety? As long as I'm taking my vitamins should that be okay?

2009-08-09T17:09:00.000-07:00

I didn't get into bed until 2am, I was up and down all night coughing and gagging, didn't wake up until 10:30 this morning and when I did it was already hot. I walked to the dog pen, walked back to the laundry room (where the dog food is kept)fed Rufus, walked back to the dog pen (100 yards or so), fed Copper, picked tomatoes and okra while I was down that way, walked to the pool to turn off the pump (another 50 yards, or there about)started back to the house................. it's hot........ I told my girls I was going to do this... and off I went up the trail.

So, thanks for holding me accountable. I felt better about making myself go walk.

(even though I was miserable hot and sweaty by the time I got back)

I had my half cup of coffee and NO cookie.

I had two scrambled eggs for breakfast instead of a bagel and cheese.

I did pretty good all day until supper time and then I had a about a cup of strawberry ice cream and two shortbread cookies.

Oh, well, it is a start.

I think I will go walk again this evening before dark.

How are you doing?

one more time

2009-08-08T22:54:00.000-07:00

I am not sure what happened to cause me to completely fall off the healthy lifestyle wagon, but, I have. I have been feeling guilty for several weeks now about not walking, but, still I don't walk. I blame the heat, then the rain, well, I'm out of excuses. While I was brushing my teeth tonight getting ready to go to bed I looked at myself in the mirror and thought "Geez, Aola, you look terrible" My eyes are sunken in and have big dark circles around them. I have been fighting this cough for almost three months now and my body is just not healing the way it should. I'm not winning. All I want to eat is sweets and that is not like me. I have actually lost weight this summer but only because I just don't have much of an appetite.
I went to bed and lay there thinking about all the things I know to do and do not... well, you all know what that is. The Bible says it's a sin. I say it is just stupid.

So, I got up out of bed and put my robe on and came to the office to declare (once again) that I will fight (for a better quality of life). I will turn this around again and get well, get to feeling better, looking better, and feeling better about myself.

I will get up in the morning and NOT eat a cookie with my morning 1/2 cup of coffee and I will take the dogs on a walk before breakfast.

I am going to revert back to my healthier eating, more veggies and fruits and good proteins, less sugar.

I will take the proper vitamins and supplements daily instead of every third or fourth day like I have been.

Sometimes, I guess, I just get weary in well doing. It is hard being older and not being able to eat the things you really like or having the energy to keep fighting. But, my resolve is in place and

HERE I GO....................

My Divas

2009-06-17T12:19:00.000-07:00

Here's what I thought of the DivaCup:

Pros:

Don't have to buy tampons or pads. Better for the environment and your pocketbook. There's just a one-time cost and it has gone down in recent years (I got mine for about $20--a few years ago it was closer to $35-40). It's supposed to last for 10 years or more.

You get to be well-acquainted with your body and your cycle. Most of us aren't really familiar with our menstrual flow; we don't necessarily need to be, I suppose. Although if you had a medical condition or were curious, the DivaCup is a great way to get familiar with it.

No more tampons and pads floating around your purse. Just your DivaCup. That's it. No more running out at the office, in the middle of the night, etc. Another little bonus: if you can tell you are about to start, you can insert it fairly early. You don't have to wait until you are flowing to insert it (like with a tampon).

Virtually no risk of toxic shock. Which means you can wear it all day on the last few days of your period when your flow isn't as heavy or all night and not worry about it.

Lots of other things. All the things you can do with a tampon (swim, exercise, etc.), you can do with this. Haven't had a chance to experience foreign travel or camping with it, but I've heard it works out pretty well.

Cons:

Messy. Your fingers are going to get messy. Most of us wash our hands after using the restroom anyway, but in this case, you're probably going to want to wash your hands before, too. Which means...

Dealing with this in public restrooms sucks. You just touched the door handle and now you are going to touch yourself? Mmmm, yuck. And since you are not in the comfort of your own home and most restroom stalls don't have a sink in which to rinse out the cup, you kind of have to dump it and wipe it as much as possible with toilet paper and then reinsert it. Doing this once or twice is not really a big deal, but an all day shopping trip or something during the first few days of your period might be really un-fun.

Personally...I seem to have a heavier flow than most DivaCup users...I'm emptying and rinsing more frequently than many people (according to internet forums) seem to need to in the first few days. I also need to use liners almost always--I didn't usually need to when I was using tampons, and I could go a bit longer between tampon changes.

It definitely takes a little time to figure out how exactly to insert and remove the DivaCup. There are lots of little tips online that may help (how to fold it, how to pinch it while removing, etc.).

I'll probably keep using it. I'm used to it now and it's pretty convenient. Plus, the frugal environmentalist in me likes it a lot. :)

Hope that helps, gals!

Soon

2009-05-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

I'll be writing a review of the DivaCup...soon!

Love to my gals.

What Do You Think?

2009-04-07T19:01:00.001-07:00

I am wondering about this: What would be the most important verses for a person seeking God after the rapture? I'm looking for about 10-12, easy-to-memorize verses. Anyone?

2009-03-31T12:12:00.000-07:00

We keep trying to find ways to survive, finding out we owe over $5,000.00 in taxes didn't help any though. I have canceled all of our insurance except our home owners and our life insurance and of course the insurance on the vehicles that is required by law. Today I canceled everything on our satellite tv plan down to the base package. We have to keep the Disney channels for Emily :)

Our internet business is slower than it has ever been except for a brief period after 911. When 911 happened it was as if someone had flipped a switch. Up until then we had a pretty steady flow of orders then suddenly nothing for several months.

The shop is still doing okay but it alone isn't enough to keep us above water.

I keep hoping and believing that things will start picking up, once tax season is over and summer gets closer (the music business is traditionally busier during the summer tour season)

It is really hard for me, mentally, to see our savings dwindling.

A Whole New Life

2009-03-27T12:08:00.000-07:00

Well, this week I start a new thing. I am unemployed starting April 1. I feel like God is wanting me to write. For the time I have off, or until I absolutely have to take a job, no matter what it pays, I am supposed to write. I have four kids' curriculum projects; my book to my family; my Mercy blog and my personal blog. Pray for me, will you? I'd like to somehow earn some money writing, editing, etc. Thanks, ladies.

2009-03-26T10:32:00.001-07:00

I guess I'm not that interested in losing weight. I'm walking/jogging almost every day when the weather cooperates and eating as I please. The scale hasn't budge one way or another. I'm not pushing myself to do anything more right now.

One thing I've noticed is my aerobic tolerance is so much less than it ever has been. I know that has to do with being pregnant and not working out for quite a while, but it's really deteriorated. Walking up the hill by my house is a true task and it's a hill I used to run up in my teens. I think something my surgeon told me might be the cause. He said that being pregnant and all of the stress that adds to the heart along with the stress of the ASD caused me to go into acute heart failure. That would be the reason the first cardiologist thought I needed a heart transplant. Luckily for me my heart was able to recover and no transplant was needed, but I'm wondering if the damage that currently exists is in some part due to all the added stress of pregnancy. Even at 8 months pregnant I could walk up this hill without much of a problem. Now I huff and puff my way up and my lungs feel like they are on fire! I'm very interested to see how things will feel after the surgery.

Oh, and these stretch marks. They suck!

2009-03-14T08:34:00.000-07:00

Oprah on Thursday was about shopping (for groceries)wisely, not buying prepackaged foods, buying what you need and not being wasteful, about cooking for your family..

For some reason I am always totally surprised at the number of women who don't know this???

I guess I am just old school but it still surprises me that there are so many young women who can't and don't cook. Both of my married sons have wives that don't cook. My sons do.

There was one woman on Oprah recently with two older teen boys and she admitted that they had not sat down at the dinner table together in TWO years! To me that is just unbelievable.

No wonder there is so much talk on television about bringing back the family dinner...

2009-03-11T19:14:00.000-07:00

The no sugar thing didn't work. I lost 2lbs in two weeks which is frustrating and really not worth all that effort. David's sister has convinced me to try the Zone diet. She's been on it for as long as I've known her and even used it to lose baby weight from both of her pregnancies. I was supposed to start it on Monday, but faltered a little. Periods and diets don't seem to mix very well.

It's almost time for the 2009 Championship!

2009-03-10T20:43:00.000-07:00

This is one of my most favorite global competitions. It's completely frivolous yet it brings people together from many generations. It also allows people to be comfortable with non-conformity.

Now, if only they'd have a 'Best Granny Whiskers' competition.... I'd take a run at it. Dye my 17 whiskers brilliant aqua and go as best abstract beard.

Have a wonderful day, Phenomenal Women!

Dilema

2009-03-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

I'm trying to decide....

Mark's life insurance policy is with AIG. We have been with them for years, ten or more years. This policy is a return-of-premiums policy and under 5 years old, so, if I cancel it now we will lose everything we have paid in on it. But, I keep wondering if it is just stupid to keep paying it. The government says it won't let AIG fail, but who the hell trusts anything "they" say? AIG says that the insurance part of the company is still okay... again, how can you trust what they say?

Will they fail? What in the world would I do if something happened to Mark and his insurance didn't pay off????

Life's a gamble and I don't know which way to bet.

Hard Currency for Hard Times

2009-02-28T15:19:00.001-08:00

Ok, I've actually bought some silver.

I have 3 ounces in the house, and 13 more on the way. All from e-bay. Some are in 1 troy ounce coins, and 8 oz are in mixed pre 1964 us coins.

I have set up a budget about how much I am going to spend each pay period on hard currency. If we need it, then I'll feel great because we had it when times were tough. If we never do, then great, my nephew will get it one day.

But, the more I see the market slide and watch our government print useless bills to pay debt, the more I think that this is going to be an important component of our security and supply.

Oh, I found this wonderful explanation of the credit crisis.

2009-02-26T18:22:00.000-08:00

Cutting out sugar has almost become a habit now. I'm not craving it as badly as I was and I don't feel tired, other than the tired I feel from being sick. I did have Starbucks yesterday. It's the first one I've had in long time. It didn't taste quite as good as I remember. Luckily it didn't send me back into sugar mode.

I haven't been working out because I've been sick, but I'm looking forward to some time on the treadmill tomorrow.

2009-02-26T12:59:00.000-08:00

Did anyone else watch Oprah yesterday? I was shocked! It was about the effects of the recession on America. Lisa Ling was doing a report from Sacramento about the tent cities popping up there and not only there but they said they are popping up in most large cities.

I had no idea.

Almost all of the people they interviewed that have been hit hard by the recession said the same thing over and over....

They had not spent wisely. They had lived beyond their means. They had not saved anything.

And, what would they do differently? Save, save, save and not spend, spend, spend.

More about Money and Financial Stuff

2009-02-24T08:29:00.000-08:00

If you've been to my blog and watched the 'Financiall 9/11' video then you'll know that my alert level on the financial state of the US has ratcheted up significantly. Now I'm deciding what to do about it personally.

I have started buying hard currency (silver coins - gold will follow as I can afford it), and I had already changed over my 401K about 5 months ago to the super secure Treasury bills fund.

Then I got this article

http://www.hoisingtonmgt.com/pdf/HIM2008Q4NP.pdf

It's kind of a chewy read, I felt like I wanted a vitamin and a latte first. But it really spells out how and why things may or may not work like the government is hoping it will.

The other things I'm thinking about and planning for kind of make me feel like a survivalist whack-job so I'll save those for later.

2009-02-21T10:18:00.000-08:00

Becky and I are having a conversation in the comments of my last post regarding the labeling of our struggle with food/eating. In thinking about the conversation and searching for information, I came across some interesting articles that I want to share. I'm interested in your thoughts. For my entire life food has either been my friend or my enemy depending on the day of week, time of month, or phase of the moon. I've always looked at this struggle one dimensionally realizing on some level that there were other factors involved but never pointing the finger at them. Just now, in a single thought, food became neutral ground. Food is only the ammunition I use against myself. I'm still trying to sort this all out. I'm not sure my thoughts make sense.
Anyway, here are the links.

http://www.womentowomen.com/nutritionandweightloss/emotionaleating.aspx

http://www.womentowomen.com/nutritionandweightloss/splenda.aspx

I'm really interested in continuing this conversation.

2009-02-19T19:42:00.000-08:00

I'd love for this to be the post where I tell you how amazingly easy it is to do without sugar. I'd love to tell you that in the battle between Sandra and cupcake Sandra won, but it wouldn't be true. I gave in to temptation today and had a cupcake. Blasted cupcake! I didn't even enjoy it if that makes up for it. I did wrestle with myself for an hour before giving in. What I found is that I wanted the texture of the cupcake not the sweetness of it. I'm not sure there is a substitute for cake/brownie like texture that doesn't involve sugar. I'm going to try an apple sauce cake and she if that does the trick.
I did skip on pasta for dinner. I almost just said screw it and loaded it on my plate, but in the end sanity won. I loaded up on sweet peas and zucchini instead.

I have a friend that's been on a no sugar diet for three years now. I guess it's a lifestyle change after that long. She also uses over eaters anonymous, which is based on AA, to help her through it. I went to a meeting with her once, but thought it wasn't anything I needed, but I'm changing my mind. When I think of my relationship to food I can see pretty clearly that it's very similar to what any addict must feel. The ease of giving in to temptation. The way I tell myself just one more won't hurt anything. It's even more tricky because my battle is food and I have to eat. There is just no way around it. What I realized today after eating the cupcake is that in the past once I give in to that sort of temptation I just give up on myself. I'm not giving up this time. I may slip a million more times, but you'll still find me trudging up that hill.

2009-02-19T18:40:00.001-08:00

Learning to live without, well with LESS, salt....

normally when I grab a piece of celery, or a cherry tomato, or just about any other thing I eat I also grab the salt shaker. I've said in the past that if the little thin extra salty pretzels had any kind of nutrient value I would live on them. I salt everything.

Rethinking the way you eat sounds like a really hard thing to do but I'm finding it is not really all that hard once you just actually do it.

I can not eat pretzels (and live)
I can pop a cherry tomato in my mouth without salting it first.
I can eat a stalk of celery plain with nothing whatsoever on it.
I can sit down and eat a meal without salting all my food.

And am finding very quickly that it doesn't make all that much difference. I still like the taste of the food.

Who Knew?????

2009-02-18T19:01:00.000-08:00

It's the end of day three and I'm tired, but I feel like this is doable! The food is getting easier. I picked up some raw almonds and chick peas today. I'm going to try Becky's tip of roasting them. I'm also going to make some humus. I'm back and forth on the idea of using sugar free items. I have sugar free Jello in the fridge, but that's it. What do you think? I had natural peanut butter and celery today and am amazed at how full it made me feel! I'm not a huge celery fan, but I can eat it. :)

2009-02-17T11:44:00.000-08:00

Levi found the coolest website the other day ... organicfacts.net.. it has tons of food facts. We have been reading about the benefits of the super foods, you just can hardly believe the benefits of some foods... like celery. I knew it was good for lowering blood pressure but I had no idea it was SO good for so many other things.

check it out

2009-02-17T08:43:00.001-08:00

Yesterday was tough. I had no sugar at all. I drank my coffee with only half and half. I skipped on the tortilla when we had fajitas for dinner. I had a two egg white one whole egg omelet with two slices of turkey bacon in half a whole wheat pita for breakfast. Lunch was a grilled chicken salad with two tablespoons of light sugar free Asian dressing. I had half a banana with sugar free cherry jello for a snack. The banana probably has more sugar than I need, but I'm not going to beat myself up over that.
There were far to many temptations! David and Erin had candy from V-Day left over which seemed to be everywhere. The brownies I made a few days ago were still on the cabinet. And to top it all off, it was my step-moms birthday and the only thing she asked for was some of my cranberry apple bread! So, I made her some. If I can avoid all of those things, I know I can do this.
I've had the same breakfast today and made it over to my dads house to workout on the treadmill. I'm going again this evening.

"The Shoulds"

2009-02-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

What's one thing that you just can't stand doing, but you know you should do it? Yeah, I know, we shouldn't be motivated by "the shoulds" but we should motivate each other to do good, right?

I hate wedding and baby showers. I don't know why.I feel like I'm not a good woman if I don't like these things.

But there are some that I should go to.

You guys are probably all way past this stage of grappling with "the shoulds" but any input would be nice to hear.

2009-02-14T18:03:00.000-08:00

So, I'm making a commitment here in hopes that you ladies will check up on me to see if I'm sticking with it. Starting on Monday I'm cutting sugar out of my diet and working out a minimum of 4 days a week. I want to lose 20lbs before I have surgery and 30lbs by my birthday. I so easily fall into a complacent attitude when it comes to weight. David loves my body regardless of the extra pounds and while I adore that about him, it doesn't help me in the motivation area. I'm tired of looking in the mirror and not recognizing the person I see. I'm tired of using food as my crutch. Things have gotten out of hand since Hayden was born, and I need to regain control. I turn 30 this year. What better reason is there to lose the extra pounds?

What I've Learned About Customer Complaints

2009-02-14T07:37:00.000-08:00

My wonderful husband got me beautiful roses for Valentines' day, and he ordered them off of a very popular website. The order was fulfilled by a florist local to where I work. They were absolutely gorgeous when they arrived, and my husband was so pleased that finally his online order was exactly what he had wanted me to get (I sent him a phone picture). The men were extremely worried at work, and feeling inadequate, the women just loved them along with me.

However, the next morning when I arrived at work the next morning I had a couple of flopped over heads. The second morning (Friday) they had ALL flopped over. Cut flowers should last a week. Particularly when my darling husband spends a week's pay on them.

So, I e-mailed the local florist and explained my situation. I got a fairly tepid response "e-mail us a photo and we'll see if there is anything we can do for you". That was less of a customer service response than I was expecting. So, I called them and we talked for a few minutes and still there was a mildly tepid answer, so I said that I'd be happy to bring their flowers by on my way home. They mentioned again that they weren't sure they could do anything......

On my way over, I deliberated my response. I decided on this approach: I was going to give them the opportunity to fulfill my husbands order properly; but that I simply could not let my husband see these flowers. He would be so upset. I also decided that if I had to I would let them know that I was a wedding photographer, and if they decided that these flowers were good enough to represent their company, I'd let them know I'd have them up on my website by that evening along with the florist's name.

So, I walked into the store with my flowers, a pleasant smile on my face and "Hi, I'm Cara Vinson, we spoke on the phone how are you today?..... and the florist assistant at the desk was aghast. The owner walked out and he was Horrified! They both apologized profusely, and made me a new arrangement on the spot. The owner custom cut the stems right in front of me. The assistant and I chatted, and she thanked me for being so nice, and I told her that I wanted them to be able to show their suppliers what had been delivered as well.

I came home with the beautiful arrangement you see here, and this morning we do not have any bent heads. I believe that these will last the week.

I never shrink from letting a vendor know when their product or service is not up to their promises, and I take my promises to my clients very seriously. However, I always start out on the setting of 'nice'. Direct, yes. Most of the time I get exactly what I want with an extra helping of gratitude for niceness. My next setting is what I'd call Vulcan... Intractable logic, veiled threats, little emotion". Third setting : BITCH. I think I've used it twice. Once got someone fired.

My other thing is to talk to authority immediately. You're going to end up talking to them anywhere, so might as well save yourself some time. Once CV and I were at a restaurant and we were sitting in the bar at a table with plans to eat. People all around us were seated after us, and for 30 minutes we watched them order, get drinks, get food etc. Waiters and waitresses looked at us, but nobody spoke one word to us. I decided to wait the exact 30 minutes, then I went to the front and asked for the restaurant manager. I explained the situation, watched as the manager went to the bar and questioned every bartender and waitress fairly emphatically. She then came back to us and we were reseated elsewhere with our meal on the house. Our new waitress took gold star care of us. We tipped her what the cost of our ticket would have been, and asked her to make sure she told the bar group that we did. We thanked the manager for the meal on our way out.

So here's my humble lesson on Customer Complaints: expect what you pay for, be nice, know your response, speak to authority. Go forth and get your money's worth!

One of the best articles I've read recently about the economy

2009-02-07T11:46:00.000-08:00

This is a fairly partisan piece, but it explains thing so very well. Try to take your party affiliation hat off for a moment and just digest the economics. Then go put $200 in a mason jar and buy 50 lbs of dry beans.

By PAUL KRUGMAN

A not-so-funny thing happened on the way to economic recovery. Over the last two weeks, what should have been a deadly serious debate about how to save an economy in desperate straits turned, instead, into hackneyed political theater, with Republicans spouting all the old clichés about wasteful government spending and the wonders of tax cuts.

It’s as if the dismal economic failure of the last eight years never happened — yet Democrats have, incredibly, been on the defensive. Even if a major stimulus bill does pass the Senate, there’s a real risk that important parts of the original plan, especially aid to state and local governments, will have been emasculated.

Somehow, Washington has lost any sense of what’s at stake — of the reality that we may well be falling into an economic abyss, and that if we do, it will be very hard to get out again.

It’s hard to exaggerate how much economic trouble we’re in. The crisis began with housing, but the implosion of the Bush-era housing bubble has set economic dominoes falling not just in the United States, but around the world.

Consumers, their wealth decimated and their optimism shattered by collapsing home prices and a sliding stock market, have cut back their spending and sharply increased their saving — a good thing in the long run, but a huge blow to the economy right now. Developers of commercial real estate, watching rents fall and financing costs soar, are slashing their investment plans. Businesses are canceling plans to expand capacity, since they aren’t selling enough to use the capacity they have. And exports, which were one of the U.S. economy’s few areas of strength over the past couple of years, are now plunging as the financial crisis hits our trading partners.

Meanwhile, our main line of defense against recessions — the Federal Reserve’s usual ability to support the economy by cutting interest rates — has already been overrun. The Fed has cut the rates it controls basically to zero, yet the economy is still in free fall.

It’s no wonder, then, that most economic forecasts warn that in the absence of government action we’re headed for a deep, prolonged slump. Some private analysts predict double-digit unemployment. The Congressional Budget Office is slightly more sanguine, but its director, nonetheless, recently warned that “absent a change in fiscal policy ... the shortfall in the nation’s output relative to potential levels will be the largest — in duration and depth — since the Depression of the 1930s.”

Worst of all is the possibility that the economy will, as it did in the ’30s, end up stuck in a prolonged deflationary trap.

We’re already closer to outright deflation than at any point since the Great Depression. In particular, the private sector is experiencing widespread wage cuts for the first time since the 1930s, and there will be much more of that if the economy continues to weaken.

As the great American economist Irving Fisher pointed out almost 80 years ago, deflation, once started, tends to feed on itself. As dollar incomes fall in the face of a depressed economy, the burden of debt becomes harder to bear, while the expectation of further price declines discourages investment spending. These effects of deflation depress the economy further, which leads to more deflation, and so on.

And deflationary traps can go on for a long time. Japan experienced a “lost decade” of deflation and stagnation in the 1990s — and the only thing that let Japan escape from its trap was a global boom that boosted the nation’s exports. Who will rescue America from a similar trap now that the whole world is slumping at the same time?

Would the Obama economic plan, if enacted, ensure that America won’t have its own lost decade? Not necessarily: a number of economists, myself included, think the plan falls short and should be substantially bigger. But the Obama plan would certainly improve our odds. And that’s why the efforts of Republicans to make the plan smaller and less effective — to turn it into little more than another round of Bush-style tax cuts — are so destructive.

So what should Mr. Obama do? Count me among those who think that the president made a big mistake in his initial approach, that his attempts to transcend partisanship ended up empowering politicians who take their marching orders from Rush Limbaugh. What matters now, however, is what he does next.

It’s time for Mr. Obama to go on the offensive. Above all, he must not shy away from pointing out that those who stand in the way of his plan, in the name of a discredited economic philosophy, are putting the nation’s future at risk. The American economy is on the edge of catastrophe, and much of the Republican Party is trying to push it over that edge.

something that may or may not help you..

2009-02-05T10:00:00.000-08:00

If you are like us you have insurance out the kazoo... I hate insurance companies and wish I could just drop it all (and threaten to do so on a regular basis) but because of mortgages and fear I keep it.

Yesterday I got a new policy in the mail (nothing unusual) for the Kubota (tractor) and happened to notice that the deduction was only $100.00. I never do that.(found out that is was done automatically) I always go for a higher deductible to save money on premiums (and because I figure we will never really need it or use it)So, I called my agent and we started talking. We went over all the policies I have with them (five). I upped the deductible on the tractor policy and saved 25% annually! and I also upped the deductible on the house which allowed me to up the coverage and keep the premium the same.

Today I went over all my State Farm policies (six of them), the only change I made was to drop the insurance on the four wheeler. It is a year and a half old and has probably dropped in value by half so I decided it wasn't worth having insured. That saved me $86.00 a year.

So, if you haven't done it in a while you might want to go over you coverage and see where you make adjustments.

Minor Miracles -- In Body and Excercise

2009-02-04T07:50:00.000-08:00

I have been running for four weeks.
I have not twisted an ankle, tweaked a knee, or sprung a muscle -- thanks to a very expensive ankle brace and careful mileage gain.
I am running five miles on Sunday, three-four on Tuesday and Thursdays. I hope to get up to ten-twelve miles on Sunday and six-eight on Tuesday and Thursday.
It's exhilarating.
I don't think I will ever quit doing this again.

I am watching the processed carbs and sugar and limiting portions. Ten pounds down from Christmas, five pounds from less than high school weight. This is beginning to feel like a lifestyle.

If you need a home workout, I totally recommend Jillian. Started doing it at my mom's during Christmas and have now adapted it (sans video) to my off days. Lots of jumping and weights -- my body really responds to it.

I don't usually post here anymore, but I am just so excited about what consistency has wrought that I wanted to share. I learning to push -- I love pushing.

2009-02-03T16:59:00.000-08:00

I thought Oprah might be interesting today since it was supposed to about being thrifty but it was not really. I didn't hear anything new, pretty much the same things we have discussed here and actually we have better ideas than I heard on Oprah. They talked a little about barter and exchange, a lot about coupon clipping which I am just not ready to do (because in the past I have found that you can just buy an off brand and save more money than using a coupon for a name brand), mostly about using common sense.

I was a part of a church once where the ladies from several churches got together once a year and did clothing exchange. It was fun. You brought stuff you wanted to exchange and when you went in you got a number - the number of things you brought to exchange - and you could pick out that many things to take with you. The things that were left over went to the Salvation Army.

So, I didn't' learn anything new to report and overall it just sort of pissed me off to sit there and listen to Oprah who has more money than all of us put together talk about the need to be thrifty.

from Women Who Run With the Wolves...

2009-01-24T11:58:00.000-08:00

...Anyone close to a woman is in fact in the presence of two women; an outer being and an interior criatura, one who lives in topside world, one who lives in the world not so easily seeable. The outer being lives by the light of day and is easily observed. She is often pragmatic, acculturated, and very human. The criatura, however, often travels to the surface from very far away, often appearing and then as quickly disappearing, yet always leaving behind a feeling: something surprising, original, and knowing.

Understanding this dual nature in women sometimes causes men, and even women themselves, to close their eyes and hail heaven for help. The paradox of women's twin nature is that when one side is more cool in feeling tone, the other side is more hot. When one side is more lingering and rich relationally, the other may be somewhat glacial. Often one side is more happy and elastic, while the other has a longing for "I know not what." One may be sunny, while the other is bittersweet and wistful. The "two-women-who-are-one" are separate but conjoined elements which combine in the psyche in thousands of ways.

we are complicated.....

What's Special?

2009-01-21T14:10:00.000-08:00

Each one of us has gifts. But often as girls do in our society, we are more likely to pick out our flaws and focus on the bad.

I'd like for each one of us to talk about one special attribute that we have. Then, perhaps we can open up to the special gifts of the women in our lives too!

Coffee, caffeine, etc.

2009-01-20T18:56:00.000-08:00

Aola asked how the coffee withdrawal was going for me. Well, I was down to 1 cup a day...for one day. I'm at two cups a day now. It seems like any more than that makes me see the world thru brown glasses, and wake up kind of hungover. But two cups is just enough. And supposedly some caffeine is good for your heart and brain. So...if I don't go over that, it should be fine. And I really like it.
I fasted for one day and I was surprised at the energy I had. It was good.
I decided that I needed to not be too hard on myself physically right now since I'm struggling with some legitimate anxiety and some weather-related depression, too. Thank the Lord for two days of sunshine. It's supposed to stay for a couple more days - I sure hope so.

Kristen is my inspiration for money saving. She always encourages me with her organization and discipline...sometimes I wonder how she's my daughter. Ha ha.

2009-01-18T11:33:00.000-08:00

Things I'm doing to save money and the environment:

On decent days I hang out the laundry - except jeans and towels. I hate the way they feel if they've been air dried.

I use ECO, an all natural laundry soap I buy at Sam's Club. One jug costs $12.00 and last me a month (and I do a LOT of laundry)

The old "if you aren't using it, turn it off" of course.

I unplug appliances that aren't in use - like the big mixer and the coffee pot.

I continue to gripe about the length of showers that Mark and Seth take (to no avail)

Since we live 15 miles from town I only make necessary trips, usually only once a week and that is the only night we eat out.

I am buying more and more from the buying club. I've found that if I am careful and watch the prices I can save a lot of money. But, it helps that we have lots of storage space for items like bundles of 36 rolls of toilet paper and huge packages of paper towels.
And, when we go this month we won't be going to Red Robin and waste all the money I just saved.

These are just a few off the top of my head.

I'd like to see your list, maybe I could pick up a few more tips.