Geez... it is so depressing.... over the last several years since I started taking BP medicine (it's all I can figure) I have gained about 30 pounds. It doesn't seem to matter what I do or don't do those pounds just slowly keep adding up. I am desperate now. I can't comfortably wear any of my jeans and I just can't make myself go up yet another plus size. So, I am back to trying to eat more carefully, I have been exercising, mostly just some yoga type stuff and walking and trying to increase the difficulty each week. I know it can't hurt me (other than it kills my knees) but so far I don't think I actually doing enough to do any good. I will keep trying to increase my time and effort.. the eating less doesn't always work out :)

Honestly, I wish I could just be okay with being almost 60 and fat, but, I can't. I beat myself up on a regular basis and feel bad about myself the rest of the time.

I've been doing regular exercise for at least a month now, so, maybe I have found the stamina to keep going... we will see. The weather is nice enough now to enjoy walking so hopefully I will keep that up too.

Just thought I'd check in with a little more depressing news......

Welcome to the Club, Dear Cheri!!

Cheri is now one of the women of the '3rd age'  past childhood, past childbearing, and into the age of wisdom.

I had devised a ceremony to welcome her in. When Mom was there to help her after surgery, I came over to visit and we had ourselves a little ceremony.

Privately, without anyone around who wasn't in the the club; we had Cheri burn the instruments of her 2nd age.

Welcome to the age of wisdom, Dear Cheri!

"I wake up every morning on a diet; I go to bed every night a failure"


something I heard on a commercial... that about sums it up for me.

Although I have not been exercising at all other than my usual 100 miles I walk every day of my life in circles around and around the house, from the dog pen to the house, from the garden to the house, to the mail box and to the house, to the office and to the house, up the steps from kitchen to living room and living room to dining room.. okay, you get the picture

I haven't been walking or working out but I do moan and groan a lot. My bright idea of doing strength exercises for my knees almost killed me. I blew my right knee out and it is just now 3 weeks later going down, the pain is getting less - finally. So, that was not a great idea. Don't think I will try it again either.

But, I am getting prepared to do my annual spring (body)cleanse. I ordered some ridiculously expensive Super Juice and have made a menu and grocery list of super foods to eat and another list of things to NOT eat for that 3 days.

I know it is not much in the big scheme of things, but, it makes me feel better about how I treat my body and therefore It is good.

Working It Out

I finally started working out again last week. All in all, it feels great. I've set a new goal for myself. I'd like to be able to run a mile by May 4th, my second year open heart surgery anniversary. As soon as the weather is good enough I'll be outside training, but for now I'm using EA active and the Wii to get started. I've been doing 25 minute workouts five times a week. It feels great! I haven't seen any weight loss, but I'm not going to let that hinder me.

Really?
Seriously???

After more than a year of no periods...I started my period yesterday.

You have got to be freaking kidding me. My poor old ovaries just don't know when to die.

I haven't walked, hell, I've just barely moved for the past couple of weeks. My eating has been shot to hell with Mark gone every day this last week, I didn't cook, I nibbled.

Spring time is coming to Oklahoma though. Supposed to be in the 70's this week. funny, huh?

Maybe the sunshine will inspire me :)

I didn't walk at all this week because of my back, was hoping to start again tomorrow but the predictions are for freaking cold weather next week so we'll see.

I did look up a couple of websites that showed specific exercises to strengthen back muscles and some for knees and have been doing them.. a few every day and doing a little weight lifting with (very) light weights (8lbs). I know I don't work out hard enough to probably make much difference but I keep thinking it is better than not doing anything... right???

I'm doing pretty good at eliminating the salty snacks but, Lord o'mercy you should hear Mark whine about me buying unsalted nuts and seeds....

My eating is about the same... too much of a good thing and there is no weight loss. Maybe when I can get back to walking every day.. I can keep hoping.

love you guys