Women, Phenomenally

I had to travel to Mexico to realize I'm beautiful. It wasn't the place or the people though the men there do love American women. It was being with my beautiful sister-in-law and seeing how, despite the fact that she has a perfect (in terms of media expectations) body, she still isn't happy with herself. She questions everything about her body and is the most self conscious person I've ever met. I've always thought that if I could just be tall and skinny I would be happy and then I see up close and personal a tall and skinny beautiful woman who is so unhappy with her body that she tries on five different outfits just to go to the airport. What I noticed more than anything was how much attention and constant assurance she needed. For a long time now I've thought that the only thing more dangerous than a woman who thinks she's beautiful is a woman who doesn't and now I know it's true. The world uses that self doubt against us. It convinces women that their breast are not large enough and their waist is not small enough. It urges us to spend more money and time to reach the perfection it sells all the while laughing because it knows we'll never get there. It won't let us. A woman who is confident and happy with her body doesn't make them money. I'm not going to say that I've walked away from this experience with no self doubt, but I do think I walked away with a little more self love and a little better understanding of how our differences make us more beautiful. If I wanted to I could have surgery after surgery to make myself look just like the women on t.v. I could shrink my waist down to a less than healthy size and increase my boobs to obscene proportions, but I wouldn't be me anymore and the thing I've learned is that I really like being me.