Saturday, December 30, 2006

New Year - here we go again....

One last feast and then I've got to get serious about my health again... geez, you would think I would learn, don't you?

I told you guys that I was having kidney trouble, right? Well, I stopped taking all my supplements for a couple of weeks, only taking cranberry concentrate and the kidneys cleared up - it took a little longer than it usually does, but, kidneys are feeling fine...


My heart started doing what it was doing last year before we started on our Skinny journey. From everything I read it is angina, the kind that happens at rest, not after exhertion, which can usually be remedied by upping your magnesium intake.

I guess when I stopped taking my supplements it caused the issue with my heart. So,
I'm back on the calcium/magnesium/D, CoQ10, and NAC - now my heart seems to be leveling off once again. The only time it jacks up is when I have too much caffeine.
I've had to elminate over the counter sinus pills, most of the caffeine and all of the alcohol. A couple of nights ago I drank two white russians and I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. I had no idea that the alcohol would effect me that bad.

I am going to enjoy the party tomorrow night with no regrets (and no alchohol - which is no biggie).

But, come Monday I am going back on the straight and narrow....throw out the leftover party food and start clean.

I can think of no better time to start another exercise program. Seth needs me to do this, it helps him to stay on track too. He and Levi had a push-up contest tonight and Seth could only do 10 - what the heck?? He was doing 50 at a time with no problem before he quit martial arts.

So, I will get the whole family and the dogs involved in this and see if I can't get these health issues taken care of, once again.

What's your plan for the New Year?

Thursday, December 28, 2006

One year

Well, I finally switched over to beta like a big girl so I can post on Skinny again. We've done this blog for over a year now, gals. Can you believe it?

Do we want to keep it up, even if it's used intermittently? I, for one, am still enjoying it.

I'm logging my workouts over on my Kristen Runs blog, as you gals know. It's been hugely motivating. Set two PR's this week and excited to progress slowly on my bench as well. (I'm remembering getting to 75-100 lbs in a semester of lifting every day back in high school--gotta try to do that again eventually...soon.)

Gotta say it--I am a much happier, less stressed, normal person when I make time to workout in the morning. The day is just better. I work out so many problems in my head while lifting, and usually there's something to laugh or smile about while I'm there, too.

The PBJ situation is progressing nicely. In fact, I will take a test on Saturday. I'll keep you guys updated. :) I know I probably shouldn't be setting PR's in this state,'s still early, and I'm not sure it will be a positive test anyway.

Thought I'd link you guys to an excellent article on goal setting from an Olympic thrower. This guy is seriously...well, bad ass. You can read more about him here if you are interested.

Sunday, December 10, 2006

I bought and am reading this fun book,nothing new but some reinforcement of what we all know we should be doing plus some fun art projects and trivia.

Hope everyone is working at staying healthy during this season. I've done several cleanses lately of not only my body but also did a thorough cleaning of frig and cabinets (again)I didn't really have to throw out too much.. some whipped cream and and a couple of cartons of chip dip leftover from holiday parties. The whipped cream was moldy anyway, I just hadn't gotten around to throwing it out.

I'm taking lots of vitamins and supplements and my colloidal silver, religiously. I have an abnormal fear of getting sick this time of year (could be from almost dying once with an intestinal virus..).

I'm going to buy myself of pedometer, I think it will be a fun motivator.

So, what are you guys doing to stay healthy?

Monday, November 27, 2006

An update

I don't want to hear anything about Thanksgiving These things happen. Between little things like colds, holidays and vacations to big things like what's happening with Sandra and her family, the past week has been...crazy.

Mom and I tried to hit the gym for the first time (for me since the vacation and the cold, and for her, the first time since her gall bladder surgery earlier this month), but the snow and ice prevented us. Better luck tomorrow.

How is everyone else doing?

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Monday... walk... check
Tuesday...lift... check....

I'm on a roll here.

I am going to make an appointment to have my lipids panel done again in January, so, if I'm gonna spend $50.00 to have my cholestrol checked I better start eating a little more carefully so it will be worth it :)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Jessica Biel

Now, that is enough to inspire me...

I walked two days this week and lifted two days this week. I'm back to using my light weights, slowly going to work back up to where I was.

I guess I just felt like it was a waste of time because I never see the results I hope for but I know it is not a waste, in fact, I know that if I don't do it I won't have that quality of life that I want to have in the next 20 + years.

I'm never going to look like Jessica Biel. It's hard to face to reality of being old sometimes but I can be healthy and feel good.

So, this week I am going to make myself walk at least 3 days and go from there.

I'm glad that you ladies are here to talk to.

Thanks for everything.

Friday, November 10, 2006

I'm back in the saddle again. I did my workouts this week and had a much cleaner eating plan. I still splurged here and there, but for the most part it was good. David and I are having a competition. The one of us that loses the most body fat percentage between now and January first will win some $$$. Perhaps this was the reason for his gift of Ferrero Rocher today. Oh wait, that was an anniversary gift. Me thinks he's out to sabotage me! I'll get him back! I had one and gave two away to friendly customers who stopped by today. I have about ten more in the bell shaped container. I'm sure I know ten more people that would love some chocolate!

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

I am posting this so that I will work out because I am telling you ladies that I will work out today! I have zero energy right now and even less motivation, but I'm not going to let that stop me. I'm going to take Erin to school and then work out.

Life has really been taking it out of me lately. I'm not sure what’s going on, but I feel really tired all the time. I have no energy to even clean house. I force myself to do it because I can't stand a messy house, but each movement feels forced. I know I am getting enough sleep so I'm not sure why I'm feeling like this. The only thing I can think of is stress. My job, while boring, does require a lot of work especially when we are having a visit from one of the "big" bosses. They also put a lot of pressure on their employees to make certain numbers every month. I was also training someone last week who ended up stealing $100.00 and jumping ship. Between that and feeling like I'm the only one in the house who cares if we have clean dishes and laundry, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. I try to make myself sit down and relax, but when I'm home I'm thinking of all the things that need to be done there and do them and when I'm at work I'm thinking of all I need to do there and since I live where I work, I don't get a break from all this thinking and doing.
I know it sounds like I'm complaining, but really I'm not. I'm just voicing this so that it doesn't keep building in me. I just need someone to know that I can't do it all even if I don't realize that myself.

Friday, November 03, 2006

I lost my focus for a few weeks, but I'm regaining perspective now. I am starting back on plan Monday! I really can't wait as I have been feeling pretty yucky the last week. David is going to start with me which is exciting! I'm going to go over the IR diet again and plan out a menu for us. David will be lifting three days a week at home and running two days. I will be going to Curves three days a week and running two days.
Amazingly I haven't gained any weight, but I'm sure that I have lost some muscle. Here's to getting it back!
Is anyone else watching The Biggest Loser? It consistantly inspires me!

Monday, October 30, 2006

Mom and I are doing really good with going to the gym. For the last two weeks, we went three times, and this week we'll go at least four times. Today she actually squatted the bar, which was a big accomplishment for her. We're the only girls working out in the "big boy" part of the gym right now, and it takes guts to stick your bootie out and do squats and deadlifts.

My eating is getting better, although last week was awful. I feel stronger physically and mentally every day. I'm not running outside much because it's getting icy and below freezing, but I'm hitting the bike and treadmill at the gym. Good stuff.

The PBJ stuff is kind of on hold (till next summer/fall), but I'm okay with it. I watched a bunch of my girlfriends in this condition get majorly stressed out--and none of them are working in a high-stress environment like me. So...I'm thinking about waiting a little while until I can work part-time or not at all--which is next fall. J and I might be going to Hawaii on a business trip in May, so it might be fun to not have to worry about traveling with PBJ anyway.

Love to you all! How's everyone else doing?

Sunday, October 22, 2006

My workouts and eating were awfull last week. The trip to Disneyland threw everything off. I'll be better this week. My calve muscles are still hurting when I run. I think I need a better running shoe. Any good suggestions?

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Changing tracks

I'm trying priority eating. Never heard of it? That's because I made it up. It goes something like this -- veggies before sweets, lean protein before fats, etc. So, sure I can have that cookie if I've already had five servings of vegetables. I'll let you know how it goes.

Three days of pilates and I lost an inch in my waist. I have three more inches to go.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

We've done it now!

With the cold winter months approaching, Mom and I have purchased a one year gym membership! Woooooo-hoooooo!

Thursday, October 12, 2006

I'm still old and I'm still fat but I eat healthy. I laughed at myself today... and thought o my gawd I'm turning into my mother.

My Mother was a nutritionist for 35 years at a private school for children with disabilities so there were lots of diet restrictions and special diets.
I used to think she was weird because she didn't just cook and eat normal food, everything she ate was balanced and she only ate things that were good for her.

Today I had to wonder just how much "good" stuff you can put in one bowl of oatmeal when I fixed mine with a few raisins, a few walnuts, a spoonful of soy protein power (it works great Kristen), and organic sugar.
And when I had my afternoon snack of cottage cheese with flax seed and pineapple...

On Another Subject

Ok... I have something I want to ask you all but especially Erica (since she works in a restaurant).
Tonight we stopped and ate a light meal after karate class at one of the few nicer places in Ada where you actually sit down and get waited on.
When the waitress brought the check she handed it to Mark and for some reason it kind of ticked me off... I thought "what a sexist thing to do." Mark asked me what I thought she should have done. My response was that she should have laid it in the center of the table so who ever was paying the bill could pick it up.

Would it have bothered you? what do you think she should have done with the check?
And Erica, do you automatically hand the check to the man?

Sunday, October 08, 2006

This was not a good week. In celebration of David's graduation, and a friends bridal shower, I ate food I knew I shouldn't have. I only ran twice this week. Wednesday I woke up early to prepare for the graduation. Thursday I was too tired to even think about a run and Friday I just bew off.
I feel fat and slugish. I know it's from the lack of exercise and all the rotten food I've eaten. This week will be better.

Monday, October 02, 2006


I feel void of interesting information, but I will check in.

I weigh the least I have weighed for two years.
This feels great. I try on old clothes and they fit. It is a good thing: I feel more myself physically.

I moved last week, into a cute (rather large and expensive) apartment. this was a big decision. I just paid the rent and feel poor right now.
this week I will set up the place. I am hopeful that I will make it home really quickly, though we only signed a six month lease.
that will be the title of my next Rethinking E. post. Six Month Lease. That post will be the self-absorbed, melancholy stuff that will assure you that I am still alive in world being myself.

I have been two people for the past three weeks and I cannot say more than this without seriously incriminating myself.
All my life I have had a pretty Rigid SuperEgo, one that edited even my thoughts so that at most times, could you have eavesdropped on my thoughts, you might have heard something that sounded a heck of a lot like KLOVE, the christian radio network.
Lately the soundtrack in my head has given way to everything but KLOVE. I am now equal parts Miles Davis, Regina Spektor, from the Black Eyed Peas. You could possibly hear SexyBack by Justin Timberlake in my head and in my life. I have only been to church once in the past six weeks.
I hardly recognize myself.
My SuperEgo is on vacation, perfectly unconcerned about the London Bridge and how Fergie says it is falling. And I am left with my Ego, just my ego, to regulate an Id that has been forced to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman for a decade and a half.
I once heard that the SuperEgo is the parent of the self. It treats the Id like a child. The Ego then represents an adult person, neither parent or child of the self. Just Self. I am not sure.... but if so I am hoping that I develop an adult-identity that fucntions well in society and with myself. That sentence was weird, but if you are still reading and/or get this at all... pray for my Ego.

oh, and A, I am almost positive that this is not what you were asking for... but thanks for calling me out all the same.

oh, and I had a sundae today. I went out and bought double vanilla ice cream, dove choco syrup and cherries. yummmm!


Has anyone heard anything from Erica lately?

Erica... grace us with your presence every once in a while so we know you are still kickin' down there in Texas.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

For people who say that weight lifting will make you "bulky"

She's just "massive" at 5'4", 135 lbs, no?

Here's an article about her in the Washington Post.

Other than missing exercise on Jason's birthday and the birthday cake/Mexican food/pizza carnage that ensued, it's been a great week on the eating/exercise front. :)

Saturday, September 30, 2006

Yesterday david hugged me and went to grab the little love handles on my side. He loves doing this despite the fact that it drives me madd! He searched and searched but couldn't find anything to squeeze. He finally settled on squeezing my butt. I guess it's not going away any time soon. At least my love handles are less.

Back on the Wagon

OK, last night was the end of the incredible baking spree. I made molten lava chocolate mugs with espresso whip cream. They were so rich it almost made me sick, and I realized I am ill. I have a three month old child, yet I run around making intricate desserts. No more. My joints hurt, my face is erupting, and I can see the dial on the scale wanting to move. Goodbye empty carbs. The order of the day shall be meats, eggs, veggies, and fruit. I'll add whole grains after a while, when I feel the carb monster is back in its cage.

I only broke the coffee rule once this week, and it didn't even taste that great. I have noticed a difference in the skin around my eyes. I think I was drinking so much coffee that I wasn't drinking enough water and it was dehydrating me.

How is everyone doing? A -- have you thought about having a slice or two of turkey bacon with your oatmeal? Would that be enough protein?

Friday, September 29, 2006

To be honest I am a little surprised at just how out of shape I am from not walking the last few months of extreme hot weather. I'm trying to get into the habit of walking every day again. I didn't make it every day this week but mostly. I just huff and puff up the steepest part of the walk... didn't used to do that.

I'm liking the IR diet for the most part but sometimes I get really tired of always having to try to link the protein. Breakfast is the hardest meal because I like oatmeal for breakfast. The book suggests making it with milk instead of water, tried it once - yuck.

The rest of the day it's easy to do.

There was a problem with my web vitamins order (not their fault)UPS trashed the box and I only wound up getting one out of three items I ordered so I am still waiting for the colon cleanse supplements I ordered................

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The world wide web is a beautiful thing!

Rose Water Ice Cream

I'm thinking of making this for Erin's next birthday. Perhaps we will have a fairyland theme.

I started my period today. That would explain my recent mood swings and consumption of all things carb full.

I bought some delicious dried mango at Costco last night. I'm going to have to monitor myself with it around!

I'm going to lift today. I'm starting right now!

Anyone have ideas for what 5k I should run in the spring?

Tuesday, September 26, 2006


Sam slept for more than ten minutes, so I did a full routine of pilates. It felt so good.
My eating was not so great this weekend. My sister-in-law was in town and we took her to PF Changs. I had a little bit of everything. I think I managed pretty well. I ate mostly the veggies and meat and had a tiny bit of white rice and chow mien. Saturday morning Laurie took me to her favorite breakfast place. They have the best apple walnut coffee cake! It's funny because it's actually a health food restaurant. Sunday I had a few more carbs than normal, but I also went on a four hour canoe trip so I'm fairly certain I burned them off. We stopped at this little ice cream shop on the way back home. It's called Scream'n Mimi's, and they had Rose ice cream! It was amazing. It tasted exactly like I would think a rose would taste. It was made with rose water. It was also an all natural ice cream shop so I felt a little less guilty about having a scoop of Mimi's mudd which had bits of oreo like cookies, peanut butter cups, and fudge brownies.
The walk/running is going great! I've decreased my time by about 5 minutes. :)

Thursday, September 21, 2006

I really love run-walking outside. It's so much more motivational that staring at the wall in my bedroom as I pound out the steps on my treadmill. It's also less painfull on my calve muscles. I switched up my route so that I'm now going 2.1 miles a day. Hopefully I'll be running at least half of that by the end of October.
The diet is going really well! It's a really easy plan to stick to and I haven't had any cravings! I don't know if I've lost any weight yet, but I'm really trying to make that less of a goal than I have in the past. I want to focuse on running longer and faster and eating what makes my body feel strong and healthy.
It's beginning to feel like fall here in Oklahoma and for me the change of seasons always make me know it is time to cleanse my body.

First I will do a colon cleanse... which is pretty clean, drink lots of water and tea and take a colon cleanse pill every night for 3 nights.
Colon cleanse:
Herbs: Acidophilus, Cascara Sagrada, Kava Kava, Valarian

Other Ingredients
Cascara Sagrada, Buckthorn Bark, Celery Seed, Papaya Leaf, Peppermint, Bentonite, Oregon Grape Root, Kava Kava, Valerian, Acidophilus, Echinacea, Garlic, Passion Flower and Ambla

After that I will do a blood and liver cleanse. I will buy that supplement from
Her Native Roots

a wonderful website with a lot of good information and products.

You can do simple skin cleanses with herbs and a hot bath which is wonderful.

I always feel better after detoxing, ready to take on the flu season....

On Her Native Roots she talks about building up our immune systems and making ourselves "too tough to die"

Amen to that.

Wednesday, September 20, 2006

Click below

for an interesting Spark People article on intrinsic and extrinsic motivation to eat healthy and exercise. Interesting ideas.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

Three New Habits I'd like to start

1. No eating free food at work. If I must have something sweet, I'm going to have to walk to the store to get it and pay for it with my own hard-earned money.

2. No snacking while cooking dinner, especially not on chips. If I must eat something NOW, I will munch on veggies and dip.

3. No eating after 7 p.m. Not that "after a certain time, you automatically gain fat," or so goes the myth. I just don't eat anything healthy after that time, and whatever I do eat, I eat in excess. No more of that.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

I started walk/running at the park by Erin's school after I drop her off in the mornings. It's close and convenient and there are several other people walking there so I feel safe. I walk/ran for 30 mintues Friday morning and then tracked it on gmap when I got home and I went 1.7 miles.
I read an article on begining a running routine at Spark People and it recommended that beginners start by walking four minutes and running one minute and slowly added more running as you can handle it. I'm going to play around with that and see what happens. My plans for this week are to walk/run the 1.7 miles Monday through Friday and lift weights on MWF. I want a quick weight routine that covers all the basics. Any ideas? I'd prefer not to spend more than 25-30 minutes doing weights.
Even on the IR diet, I'm keeping my one free meal a week. I'm making peach cobbler. Since reading Becky's post about baking and Erica's comment on cobbler, it's all I've been able to think about!

Friday, September 15, 2006

Not doing so well

Um, yeah, my eating sucks. My exercise routine is hit and miss. I feel gross. No need to post encouraging comments. I'm suffering from a lack of discipline and excuses. Fall has hit the Flathead, and I want to bake up a storm -- why do baked goods have to be so bad for us?

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Hello ladies! Day one on the IR diet seems to be going well. The food plan is easy since you can eat anything as long as you balance carbs and proteins. This is my day so far,

7:30 a.m. 1/2 a whole wheat bagel with 1 tsp of low fat cream cheese spread
1/2 cup cottage cheese with 5 rasberries and spinkled with splenda
1 cup of coffe

10:30 a.m. 1 small white peach & one string cheese.
12:30 a.m. 3 oz of grilled chicken breast with 1/2 cup of peas
3:00 p.m. 1 zone bar and 1/2 cup of non fat milk.

I couldn't muster up the energy to work out this morning. I'm still recovering from my mom's visit. We squeezed a lot into the short time she was here. I plan on working out tomorrow full force.

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Sandy and I are reading the Insulin Resistant Diet that Cheri recommended months ago. To be honest I don't really see that much difference in this diet and what we have already been doing.
Kristen has been telling us for a year now... add more protein.... well, that's what this book recommends, too. More protein, limited carbs, eat every 2 to 3 hours, make your snacks protein snacks, exercise, drink a lot of water, limit portion sizes... so, what's new about it?
The only thing that is different is the linking of the protein and carbs. She recommends that you never eat carbs alone, always with protein to stop the insulin spike that causes us to store fat. You can eat protein alone or veggies but never carbs alone and to not eat more than 30 gms of carbs in a two hour period... seems it goes straight to fat storage if you do.

This is what I've had today:

Bkfst (10:00) 2 eggs, 1 piece dry toast and coffee
Lunch (12:00) 1/2 cup low fat yogurt, 2 T walnuts, 2 T soy protein powder, 1/2 mixed berries and a sprinkle of granola on top
Snack (3:00) 1 slice whole wheat bread, 1 slice deli ham, 1 slice swiss cheese, and 3 little pickles.
Supper (6:00) chicken breast, 1/2 cup eggless noodles, 1/2 cup cooked carrots

I went walking after supper.

I will have my last snack at 9:00.

The book is right about one thing, I haven't been hungry all day long. It says the insulin spikes are what causes the cravings.

This seems too easy but I'm gonna give it a try and see how it goes.

The book does say a lot of good things about emotional eating and not starving yourself... I would recommend to anyone who is interested in good nutrition.

Thank you Sandy for doing this with me... what do you think so far?

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Long, long post ahead…

In which the author begs your patience and advice.

Here’s the deal:

Last year (early 2005), I weighed 141 pounds. I am almost 5’7”, so this is about normal. I gained the freshman 30 in college, mainly with eating bad southern cafeteria food and to comfort myself over a bad break-up, and when I got married I weighed 162. I was in the 12-14 size range, and this never bothered me much. I had a fairly healthy self image through high school and college, even with a beautiful 5’10” and 120 lbs roommate/best friend. I have always had friends who I thought were beautiful in a wide range of shapes and sizes, and I always had boys that liked me, so I never worried about my size. Maybe the occasional, "My boobs are too small" feeling, but no big deal.

Anyway, by increasing my exercising and cooking my own meals when I got married, I gradually lost about twenty of that.

Back in 2005, at 141 pounds, I wondered if I could lose more weight. I guessed I was about 130-135 in high school (I had to guess because I rarely, rarely weighed myself), and I wondered if I could get back down to that. With a limited knowledge of calories and nutrition, I embarked on a kind of stupid diet plan. Stupid because it was nutritionally deficient, although it did include exercise and limiting calories, so I was on the right track in some ways. Well, in 11 weeks, I was back down to 130. I was eating very little protein and doing absolutely no weight lifting (just cardio), so I’m sure some of that was muscle loss. Besides, sometimes I ate as little as 900 calories a day, just because I didn’t like exercising and I don’t like to cook. Unfortunately, I also became absolutely obsessed with calorie counting. I can’t count the number of times Jason asked me what I was thinking about, and it was calories. I never felt like I had anything on my mind but food. It was awful.

The only nice side effect was that I could wear size 8 jeans for the first time.

Well, those jeans are too tight for me now. A year and a half later, I’m back at about 145. Probably for three reasons: 1) the diet I was on was unsustainable, 2) I’ve indulged myself too much this summer and haven’t exercised enough, and 3) I gained some muscle back.

I wear a size 10 (in my lower body) now and feel a little bulgy at times. I got so many compliments back when I was a size 8; now hardly anyone compliments me. Ugh.

Exacerbating the problem is that I’m a classic pear shape. My upper body looks nice, and I don’t mind having soft-looking arms (I don’t need to be super lean in my upper body, I guess that’s what I mean). I often wear a small or extra small top. I can usually wear size 6-8 dresses if they aren’t fitted through hips (like an A-line dress). But my hips are wide; in fact, I’m not even sure I could get to a size 6 if I wanted to (which I don’t think I do--I have a friend that size who is my height, and she looks too thin to me). I have a cute rear end and a flat tummy, but wide hips and thick thighs.

I really, really do not want to go back to counting calories. I'm afraid I'll get obsessed again. I thought about doing Atkins (no calorie counting, just avoiding carbs for the most part), but I don’t think it fits realistically with my lifestyle. Sometimes I really feel addicted to sugar, and I need to get off of that. Food, as we all know, is a huge part of who we are and how we celebrate--and I can’t hide from that. I have a family birthday or major holiday at least every month of the year. I’m participating in this supper club with two ladies who are committed to eating pretty healthfully (they are both pregnant, to boot), and I just can’t just forgo carbs all the time. Once I start having kids, carbs are (from what I've read) pretty dang necessary for a healthy pregnancy (not that I'd be dieting at that point anyway, but I just don't know how realistic it is for me to maintain an "Atkins lifestyle").

I guess the crux of the issue is, I want Jason to feel that I am attractive. He always tells me I am, even when I was bigger. He reminds me that he married me at my heaviest weight and found me stunning even then. He tells me that as long as I feel confident and sexy, I will be attractive to him.

I am so desperate for his affirmation. I am so afraid of losing him to some stick-thin red-headed goddess. J doesn’t have the perfect body (do any of us?), so it’s not like he’s holding me to some impossible standard. Hell, he even thinks my cellulite-y butt is sexy. He's kind of tired of hearing my body image issues all the time, and I'm tired of struggling with it, too, frankly.

Part of me just wishes I didn’t even worry if he thought I looked good. I wish I could just be confident on my own. But I don’t know…I mean, aren’t we supposed to care what our spouses think? I really do want to be the most beautiful woman to him.

I guess the question is, do I try to get back in to those skinny jeans again? I am so tired to trying to reach this “ideal.” I think what I really want to do is just try to maintain, to stop dieting, to just be healthy and exercise because it’s good for my mental and physical health, and not to achieve some standard of beauty I think Jason wants. I don’t think doing a lot of dieting is healthy right before trying to enter my childbearing years anyway.

I don’t know. Could I get some words of wisdom? I am so frustrated.

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Last night I couldn't sleep. I tossed and turned with the fear that not only will I never lose another pound, but that I'll gain 100 of them. My eating has been awful. I could blame it on the stress of David not having a job or the fact that he is home and wants to eat crap all the time. Honestly I don't know what my problem is. Everyday I tell myself that I'm going to make the right choices and every day I talk myself into an ice cream after lunch or some other treat I should save for my free day. ACK!!
Once again I will start fresh.
My goal is to continue running 3 times a week as well as going to Curves 3 times a week. I'll walk the three days I don't run. Sunday will be my free day for food and exercise. It's going to be a tough week because my mom will be in town, but I want to prove to myself that I can eat healthy even while going out and having fun. I just have to get back into the routine of it.
I want to lose 2 lbs this week.

new beginnings again

Hopefully we are at the end of this horrendous summer we've had. It has taken it's toll on everyone and everything. We still haven't had enough rain to even mention but the temperatures have dropped into the high 80's, low 90's. The ponds are either empty or stagnant, the grass is dead, the trees (especially the young trees) are dying.

I've gained 5 pounds over the summer from lack of activity. I walked, seriously walked, for the first time yesterday in probably 3 months. I thought I would die... that last push up hill I was breathing hard!!

I feel like I am starting all over again from where I was last December. I haven't lost much muscle, I don't think, because I did continue to lift throughout the summer months but I feel so out of shape.

So, here I go again... with yet another resolution to walk every day, lift 3 times a week, and eat better.

Those 5 pounds need to go Bye-Bye!!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

Forgot to show you guys...

but here's the dress Jason got me for my birthday back in June. This is about 20 minutes before the party started, and I'm being goofy.

birthday girl

If you look closely, you can see a picture of Erica's son on our fridge in the background!)

The training for pbj sandwiches is going great so far. I'm eating a little below maintainance and exercising Monday through Friday in order to drop a few of those summer pounds. I'd like to get back into my skinny jeans again at least for a little while, if I can. The eating has been easier than I thought, but I've got one more big picnic to go to (tomorrow--work-related) and then this holiday weekend.

Still, I find it easier to work out and diet when I have such a clear goal in mind. Plus, I know I have a break coming in about four weeks, and that makes it a lot easier, too.

Love ya all!

Monday, August 28, 2006

The Running and Such

I did get out everyday last week, but I don't think it qualifies as quality running time. This week I've set up a little more of a schedule, so hopefully I won't have to scramble around as much.
Saturday, Sunday, long runs on a flat surface
Monday, Wednesday, Friday, walk/pilates/weights (I'd like to do all three, but two per day is probably more realistic)
Tuesday, Thursday, run probably hills because that's my only choice close to the house

I really shouldn't be running hills yet, but I have to drive to get to a flat surface, and that's too much hassle to do all the time. I like running because I can walk outside my door and do it.

I desperately need to work on the weights and pilates this week.

Good luck, ladies.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I am wondering if it's a good idea to rest a day in between runs. Monday we went to the lake and I ran the trails there. Tuesday I ran on the treadmill. Yesterday I ran again, but wasn't able to go nearly as long before the burning calf muscles started in. I took today off. I bought some new running shoes, but they need to be broken in. I have been doing all my stretching and trying to add another stretch session in durring the middle of the day because I sit at a desk all day now. It's really frustrating to feel like I could keep going forever but be stopped the horrendous burning in my calf muscles. Maybe I am just running wrong?!?

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Seth and I had a killer workout last night. We cranked up Queen and pumped iron...

He puts me to shame when it comes to endurance but I am stronger than he is. I did 3 x 12 leg curls, 3 x 12 leg lifts with 20 pounds; 2 x 12 one armed rows (both right and left), 12 curls, 12 over-my head lifts (don't know what to call that one)with 25 pounds.

Seth did twice as many upper body exercises as I did but with less weight and while I would rest he would be doing set-ups... show off.

My back is a little sore today but not too bad.

It felt good. It's in the 80's again today. If the weather stays decent we will start walking next week.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

I rented and watched a Kathy Smith work out video this weekend Lift Weights to Lose Weight. It confirmed that most of what I am doing I am doing right. She added some aerobic stuff into the workout which I'm not going to do but it helped me to watch her work out. She said all the same stuff about weight lifting that Kristen has told us... using lighter weights to tone and for endurance, heavier for strength training and shaping. They only used 3 and 5 pound dumbells in the video. I use 25 pounds for the same things they were doing and I think you guys use even heavier than that, don't you?

I've missed working out the last couple of weeks and am ready to get busy. She also said that if you are working out with heavier weights you shouldn't lift but 3 times a week. I plan on doing Mon., Wed., and Friday this week.

How's the running coming?

It actually cooled down here today into the high 80's. It felt like fall weather for us. If it keeps this up we will back to walking soon. Mark and I are both looking forward to being able to walk again.

Friday, August 18, 2006

I've been running every morning since Tuesday and it feels great! Yesterday I ran my longest time which was 10 minutes. (I know that isn't much.) In the past, I've walked for a few minutes and then ran for a few and never really pushed myself beyond that, but yesterday, I decided to just go for it. My breathing and heartrate were good. My burning calf muscles are what made me quit after ten minutes. I'll get better as the time goes by.
How are the rest of you doing?
My eating has been much better now that I work next to our apartment. It's so much easier when I don't have to prepare a lunch and snacks to take to work. My new favorite breakfast addition is cottage cheese with rasberries and a sprinkle of splenda. YUM!
I met my friend Nicky for dinner and she is looking hot! She's going to OA meatings and walking everyday. She looks amazing!

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

Is it really a better idea to run first thing in the morning before eating anything? I tried it this morning and felt like I had no energy at all for the run. Can I eat something small and still be okay?
Also, what do you ladies recomend for burning calf muscles while running? This morning they were burning so much I had to stop twice. This was after a 10 minute walking warm up.
One more question and then I'll let you go. Everyone recomends putting the treadmill on an incline for an effective run, but when I do this my lower back starts to hurt. I've tried correcting my posture and making sure my shoulders are back, but it doesn't seem to help much. Any suggestions?
My eating was off today. After my run I was in a hurry to meet a friend for coffee. After coffee I was in a hurry to meet with the boss to go over my taking over the job. I ended up not eating anything until 2p.m. I know that is crazy!!! I've never done that and let me tell you I won't do it again. I had a screaming headache and felt nauseas. It took me a few hours after eating something to feel better.


Trying to run after a leg workout is a recipe for disaster. I think I'll stick to riding the stationary bike or walking after a leg workout and leave the running for after an upper body workout.

I got up at 6 a.m. today. It wasn't fun, but it was great not to feel rushed through my workout or getting ready for work. I'm hoping I can do this every day. Yesterday I read that if a person is happy, they want to get up early in the morning because they have so much to look forward to out of life for that day. I want to feel like that, excited and eager to start the day.

Monday, August 14, 2006

And so I begin again. I made a very important discovery today, oatmeal and eggwhite omlets taste much better at 8 a.m. than they do at 5 a.m. I'm pretty sure anything would taste better at 8 a.m. Maybe it's because my tastebuds are actually awake. I'm excited about not having to wake up until 7 and being able to get my workout done in the morning. I'm contemplating running at a local park after I drop Erin off for school in the morning. It has dirt trails so it won't be so hard on my knees. We'll see what happens.
Becky & Kristen, I found this page with links to several of Hal Higdon's training plans. Should we all just pick on and go for it?


Okay, after looking at all of my old training stuff. It looks like I need to get up to 2 miles 3 times a week before I start training. Do you guys want to start a program on September 1? I should be close by then -- I think.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Well, I worked out Monday and Tuesday and it felt so good but then I started my period so I didn't work out anymore all week long. I would like to think I would start all over fresh tomorrow but I doubt that I will since I am going to the dentist tomorrow afternoon, knowing he is going to hurt me. I really don't think I am going to be feeling like lifting weights by tomorrow night.
I miss working out, which is something I thought I would never say and as soon as I get over this next hump I will get busy.
My eating has been crap, too. Slackin' all the way around. I've noticed that the last couple of times we've been grocery shopping I allowed the kids to put cheetos in the cart one week and this week Seth picked up some tortilla chips (which I haven't been into, I promise)... that has got to stop.

They say confession is good for the soul but it doesn't do much to help you get in shape...

Hope ya'll are doing better than I am.

Friday, August 11, 2006

Last Night


Well, sort of, not far, and not for long, but it was still a run.

This is how the miracle happened. I finished preparing dinner, and Sam was still asleep. The chicken needed twenty-five more minutes in the oven, so I flew upstairs threw on shorts, shoes and a t-shirt, grabbed Nate's cell phone, so he could call if me Sam woke up fussy and ran out the door with a few instructions for Nate. The minute the door shut, Sam's mama-radar went off and he howled. Nate shooed me out the door anyway. I now had twenty minutes. So, I just ran, down the driveway, past the neighbor's house, down the side-road. Eleven minutes later I walked, and then ran again. Miracle of miracles my body still remembers how to move. When I walked in the door, the timer on the oven was beeping and Sam was fussing about his breasts not being within three feet. Perfect timing.

Eleven minutes is a start for a woman who hasn't ran in ten months, and this morning I'm not sore, so if the universe aligns I'll try it again.

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

My butt is gonna be sore tomorrow

Today I worked out with weights in my own garage for the first time. It was awesome. (My weights were over at my parents' house before.) I can't believe what a time saver it is to workout in the mornings at home instead of driving somewhere else.

Afterward, I went for a walk and prayed. I love to walk and run and pray. It's a great way to start the day.

I really need to get the eating under control. I've been thinking about lowering my carb intake--I always feel better when I eat less processed food with little added sugar. But I keep reading that refined carbs (bagels, cereal, etc.) are good for runners...not sure what I think about that. Any thoughts?

Monday, August 07, 2006

Happy Monday!!! I feel like I did such a good job with my workouts last week that I'm ready to tackle the issue of eating once again. Plus, I have felt so icky with my eating habits and schedule thrown out of wack. I think it will be much easier to start this week because I don't have a job and Erin will be out of town. I've asked David if he would like to try the healthy eating plan with me and I'm pretty sure there was a muffled yes underneath the long sigh he let out. :) It'll be good for him. He really needs to do some cardio too. His hearbeat is really fast even when he's just sitting on the couch! That's probably a lot more than he wants me to proclaim here in blogerdom, but oh well. He never reads this anyway.
Here's to a new week and a new start!

Friday, August 04, 2006

It's Time

Because I feel human, I'm posting some workout goals for this week.

1. Do Pilates three times.

2. Try to walk every day.

Notice how vague I am.
As far as eating, I need to stay away from the chocolate.
I ran monday, and tuesday, worked out at Curves wednesday, and gave myself yesterday off because it was my last day at work and I was emotionaly drained. Eating is still crazy! I'm finding it very hard to form any type of plan with David home. I know that once the job situations are settled we will relax into a routine and it will be easier to stick to a plan. Until then, I'm doing the best I can do and making sure I get in some form of cardio every day. I'm looking forward to working out at Curves without working there. :)

Tuesday, August 01, 2006


It is so freakin' hot here I can hardly make myself cook or eat for that matter. Like today all I have had is a blueberry muffin (homemade with all good stuff) and I just don't want any more.

My question is... will I damage what little muscle I've managed to work up over the last 6 months by continuing to work out and not eat enough??

I'm not working out very hard, a 20 minute walk 3 days a week, about 20 minutes of lifting weights 3 days a week.

What do you think?

I usually eat a pretty good supper, trying to make sure we all get plenty of protein.

Monday, July 31, 2006

get back on that horse

Ok, I am going to really try this week to get back on track with my exercise. I had been doing pretty good, although I know it wasn't enough, until last week. I only worked out once last week.
I'm not sure what happened. I just couldn't make myself do it....

But, starting yesterday, I have renewed my efforts. I waited until almost dark last night and went walking. It was still hot but bearable.
I'm going to walk Tues., Thurs, and Sat.; lift on Mon., Wed., and Friday.
My eating has been ok, not great but ok. I've been eating out too much and that needs to stop.
But, with it this hot we eat really light meals or nothing at all. A lot of salads and yogurt with frozen fruit (ahhh, nice and cool) and tons of water. I just can't seem to drink enough.

I haven't gained any weight but I'm feeling lethargic. I need to get up and move.

The worst part of it is that if it is a normal year here we won't have any relief in this heat for at least another month, probably more.

Sunday, July 30, 2006


today my macy's was getting rid of everything they could to move down the mall into Foley's old space. I scored the MOST AMAZING, can't even feel it, bra by Wacoal- the Ibra. it retails for $50 so i couldn't bring myself to buy it before. today it was 40% off... and I am thrilled.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Thank you very much

Okay, I love Scarlett Johanssohn. Just a beautiful, level-headed girl. Not a bobblehead, too skinny, weird, pot-head actress. Her body is refreshingly normal. Someone on another site pointed out her cellulite in this picture, saying, "Yeah, all women have it, get used to it." Well, probably 90% of women have it, but makes me slightly happy to see that she has it. Isn't that ridiculous?

I guess I'm just happy to see a normal girl with a normal body getting media attention. I hope she sees this picture and goes, "Oh, I look pretty" and not, "Oh, liposuction/extreme exercising/anorexia, here I come."
Stop Negative Thinking I found this article very helpful. I have a strong tendency to think negatively about myself if I slip up. What I like about this article is that it doesn't try to delve into the deep psychological meaning of my negative thinking pattern, but rather offers a practical solution to changing that pattern.

The article Kristen linked too has really made me think about what I really think about myself and the reasons I workout and eat right. I'm constantly telling myself that I need to get healthy, but that isn't the complete truth. I am healthy. I don't have any medical or health issues. My body runs efficiently and is capable of doing whatever I tell it too. The truth is I want to lose weight, but weight and health are not the same. Yes, being over weight can lead to health conditions that might otherwise be avoided, but I don't have those conditions now. My point is that by telling myself I need to get healthy, I am not telling myself how healthy I am. I am not giving myself credit for all that I am able to do and all the good choices I make. I'm dwindling my entire self down to what the scale says. If the scale is high, I am not a healthy person. I've been telling myself over the past few days that I am healthy and it's given me even more determination to do the things that healthy people do. I want to workout and eat right because I am telling myself that I am one of the people who does that sort of thing.

Society squeezes people into categories based on looks. Being labeled unhealthy because I am overweight is as silly as labeling a skinny person healthy just because they are skinny. It's important for me to remind myself that while someone may see me and label me as one thing, that does not define me. I am a healthy person who makes good choices 90% of the time.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Really good article

I've been thinking about body image a lot lately, especially in light of being around my four pregnant friends and their "I feel huge!" feelings (did some maternity clothing shopping with them recently) and my concern for not passing on my own body image issues to my future kids.

I thought you all would appreciate this article. The website is good, too. I might write more about it all later, if I can figure out what I'm feeling/thinking.

In other news, it's been too damn hot to exercise. I got in a half an hour walk on Sunday morning, but couldn't handle it after a while. Did some weights last night, and will probably do more tonight and ride on the exercise bike in our air-conditioned house. I don't envy those of you in 100 degree weather.

Friday, July 21, 2006

The Outcome

Surprisingly, it worked.

On day five after Sam's birth, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight, but not shape. On day thirteen (today), I can fit into my clothes. They don't look quite right, but still they zip and button without a problem.

I've lost a ton of muscle, so I guess the next step is toning up.

Thursday, July 20, 2006

This week, I've been focusing on controlling the things I feel capable of controlling. My workouts have been at 95-100%. My eating has been at 75%, but I'm okay with that. I'm realizing that it's truly about small steps. Trying to jump into it doesn't work. I drown every time. So, this week I told myself to focus on the workouts and make sure I complete every workout no matter what. As far as eating goes, I added a salad for lunch every day. If I can keep that up, I'll be happy with myself and next week I'll add something else. Perhaps next week I'll focus on those afternoon hours that ruin my good intentions. Yesterday I did manage to say no to Quizno's which I picked up for David and Erin without ordering myself a single thing, and I put back an ice cream that I had every intention of eating. I was about to unwrap it when I talked myself out of it. I just keep telling myself to think about what I really want and how I'm going to get there.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

The want of it.

How bad do I want to lose weight? Do I want it bad enough to deny myself an after dinner ice cream or bad enough to push myself harder than I ever thought possible in a workout? Last night I wanted it that bad. I pushed myself through my workout groaning the entire time. Not because I enjoy working out, but because I wanted the prize at the end. Sometimes that prize seems so far away that the want of it isn't enough to push me through. I tell myself that these are the times that I need to push even harder because the true test isn't sticking to something when you want to do it, but sticking to it when everything in you would rather sit on the couch and eat cookies.
It's not just with working out and eating right either. Everything in life from eating right to keeping a clean house,
comes down to that extra little bit of sticktoitivness that it takes to accomplish what we set out to do. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

Monday, July 17, 2006

I've been so bad today! I had toast with plum jelly, a cookie, and half a burrito from Baja. I was almost convinced to just give up when I rememberd that it's about "progress not perfection". I'm going to keep trying until I get it right or die trying. Today is a cardio day and lord help me I will get in the cardio if it kills me! I'm preparing chicken breast for my lunches for the rest of the week so I have no excuse not to have a salad. I'm going to take it with me to work so I don't get to hungry and come home willing to eat anything. That only leads to disaster! I've at least drank only water today and lots of it. I wish my period would start already so I'm not craving chocolate and anything with fat in it.
Is it okay to seperate eggs and store the egg whites in the fridge in a sealed container? I know you can buy them at the store that way, but I'm not sure if they have additives that make it okay to store them like that. I just want them to be ready to go in the morning when I wake up.
My neck and back are killing me today! We had a little too much fun at the lake yesterday. Erin would crawl up on my shoulders while we were in the water and try to jump off, but she never got it right. She almost decapitated me twice.
This week, I want to get in all my workouts and really push myself on my strength training. We now have the dumbbells and the curl bar so I have to excuses.
Kristen, I saw a pull up bar in the store Saturday and thought of you. :) Did you ever get one?

Really good

I went walking/running the last three days. Woo-hoo!

The weather has been so beautiful lately; I almost cried when I noticed just how beautiful my little town is. I love it here, even when it drives me crazy that I live in suburbia. (I'd rather live in the country or in the city--not in between!)

Sandra, you are doing great. BTW, I tried to respond to your e-mail, but it kept bouncing back. What should I do?

Sunday, July 16, 2006

My diet went off track this weekend. I was supposed to have a free day which should have been today. I made it yesterday because I was supposed to go out with some friends and didn't want to have to chose a salad. Today started off fairly well. I had an egg white breakfast burrito made with a whole wheat tortilla for breakfast and tuna salad for lunch. After lunch I veered off course. We went to the lake where it was extremely hot and I had an ice cream. For dinner I didn't do too badly. I had grilled chicken with broccoli and a small portion of stuffing. I'll be back on track tomorrow. We did get a lot of physical activity in. We rode our bikes about 2 miles out on a hilly off road trail and then swam for about an hour then we rode back and swam some more.
This weekend I bought some dumbbells and a curl bar. I'm looking forward to using them this week.
According to the scale, I'm down a pound and a half. We'll see what it says in the morning. :)

Saturday, July 15, 2006


Hey girls! I've been blogging at "Genuinely Jeanne" and Kristen says I should tell you. So, I'm telling you.

Friday, July 14, 2006

Blah--I need a weekend

I ran across this EXTREME program online today that basically is for people who do not want to diet, but want to lose fat. Holy cow, it looked tough, but it was so tempting because I hate regulating what I eat. Hate it.

I wish we could all have the metabolism of a teenage boy for the rest of our lives.
Oh yeah, and another symptom of menopause is weight gain... YIPEE!!!

I am so depressed this morning. It's like I work and work and manage to lose a little weight, takes months and months to see any difference whatsoever and then if I slack off for even a couple of weeks I start gaining again.

I still weigh in every Friday and the scale has slowly been moving back up even tho I am still doing the weight training 3 to 5 nights a week. I haven't been walking because it is so freaking hot here but this morning I got up, put my shoes on and went for a walk anyway. It was probably at least 90 degrees at 9:00 this morning.
But, I am going to start getting up and walking anyway.

I still don't have the recumbent bike. There have been some unforeseen expenses come up, like having to buy 2 new air conditioners, a hot water tank, and a new washer this summer. So, it's been hard for me to let go of the extra $$ for exercise equipment.

What I have done so far has made me feel better. I haven't noticed any angina in months now and I feel better about myself so I just can't let it slip away.

So, take your best shot and tell me to get up off my fat rear and get busy.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

You girls need to remember all this stuff I'm telling you about menopause....
(I would tell you talk to me about when you get there but I will have forgotten it all, either that or I'll be dead by then)
because that way in 30 years when you start going thru it, you won't think you are crazy.

You get really hormonal... I mean really. You can't sleep at night, you develop adult ADD and can't concentrate on anything and your poor old body just does weird shit. You'll think for sure you have some horrible disease and must be dying.

Today I feel like a water balloon. I got dressed and looked in the mirror and sheesh... I looked like what PeaceBang describes as stacked meat balls. I had to go change clothes into something really loose. Even my face is swollen, eyes all puffy.

We are really havin' fun now!!

I just be glad when the cramps lighten up a little so I can exercise without excessive pain.

I have a friend who at the end of every email signs it with this:

"Growing old is not for sissies, if you can't do it get out now."
Day three went fairly well. I got a little off with the diet around 4 p.m. when I had a handfull of cookie crisp cereal and 3 pieces of toasted crunchy mini bread cracker things. It was right after I woke up from a nap and I went straight for carb stuff. It could have been worse. What I wanted was a huge sandwhich and I almost made one, but stoped myself. This is the week before my period which usually equals lots of sleeping and eating. I added up my calories and they were around 1700 and everything was clean except the two things mentioned above. I keep reminding myself that Sunday is just around the corner. :)
One thing I have noticed is that I really need to make a lunch to bring to work. I've been eating every 2 to 3 hours like I need to, but my 12p.m. meal is either a protein shake or an apple with peanut butter. Neither of those is enough. I think my lunch meal needs to be a little more substantial to tide me over until 3p.m. Currently I'm only having about 600 calories between 6 a.m. and 2 p.m. That can't be enough. So, next week I will make my lunches in the evening. I'll probably double whatever I have for dinner and turn it into something that can be eaten cold since I have no way to heat it.
Erin and I went for a 45 minute bike ride. We took a different route that has more hills. It was quite a workout. My legs were still sore from Tuesays weight lifting session so it was double pain, but it felt good. I got a new water bottle with the mounting rack and a little bag that fits under my bike seat for my birthday so I was all set for the ride.

Wednesday, July 12, 2006

Need Prayer, Please

This isn't for me exactly. A dear, longtime friend of mine has had a terrible tragedy this week. Her sister-in-law and niece went for a day hike in our area. They were found dead. The newspaper said this morning that the only thing they're sure of is that it is NOT suicide. I'm sure more will be brought to light in the next few days. However, while my friend is saved, the rest of her extended family is not. Please pray for Joanne and her family. Thanks.

Please excuse me while I rant.

Normally I greet the mail man with a smile and send him on his way with a cheery "Thank You!", but not today. Today he delivered a full color brochure for a new pizza place down the street. The pages are dripping with cheesy crusty pizza pictures. It isn't his fault. He's only doing his job. It's a good thing I'm at work and can't leave to get pizza. :)

Day Two

Day to of BFL was pretty good. I ate a little more than yesterday because I knew I would be working out fairly hard. My calories were around 1750, and everything was clean except the recipe below which I am not sure about.
The BFL workout kicked my butt! It was really tough. I didn't do all the exercises I should have because we don't have dumbbells. I'm going to pick some up today so I'll be prepared for tomorrow. I did a full body work out modified with the BFL principles. My arms were so shaky when I finished! It felt good. When I wanted to quit, I just pushed harder. One thing I forgot to do was take a minute break between each set. I finished 15 minutes sooner than the book said I should and my heart rate was super high. Next time, I'll remember to take the rest.
I made Fruit Filled Chocolate Meringues for my 8 p.m. meal last night. I topped them with fresh strawberries and replaced half of the sugar with splenda. It was delicious.
Today is a cardio day. Erin and I are planning on going for a bike ride when I get home from work. We haven't been in two weeks. It's about time we got out there again.

Tuesday, July 11, 2006

One day down, 83 to go.

I survived my first day of Body For Life fairly easily. The eating plan is much more simple than counting calories. I am going to take your recommendation Kristen, and count the calories one day to make sure I'm eating enough. My diet looked like this:

6 a.m. 1/2 cup Oatmeal with cinnamon and splenda
1/2 cup egg whites with salsa
1 glass of water

9 a.m. 1 apple
2 tbsp natural peanut butter
2 glasses of water

12 p.m. Protein shake with 8 oz skim milk (I really can't stand the shake made with water.)
1 glass of water

2 p.m. 1 whole wheat pita
1 portion of grilled chicken
2 tbsp salsa
1 glass of water

5 p.m. 3 California rolls (this was my only slip up because these were made with white rice.)

8:30 pm. 1 portion tilapia
1 portion brown rice
1 portion peas
1 slice flaxseed bread
2 glasses of water

All in all it was an okay day. I needed to add another vegetable in there, but my eating plan was thrown a little off track when I had to do 3 hours of extra work for David. I was really craving sugar around 4 p.m. and 8 p.m., but I managed to ignore the craving.
I wasn't able to get in a cardio work out because of the extra time working for David. I had planned to workout at 6p.m.

Today, I am lifting as soon as I get home at 2. My diet should look about the same minus the California rolls and adding some veggies.

My goals during this 12 weeks are to:

1. Lose 20 bls of body fat
2. Fit into one size smaller jeans
3. Increase my strength and cardio ability.

To reach these I will:

1. Stay on my meal plan.
2. Go to bed by 10 each night.
3. Push myself outside of my comfort zone.

I managed to be in bed by 10 last night and it felt good to know I was giving my body the rest it need.
As always, if you have any comments suggestions, they are more than welcome! I plan on posting once each day during this 84 days. It will help keep me in line.

Oh yeah, I am already dreaming about Sunday (free day) when I can have some ice cream!! :)

Monday, July 10, 2006

So, Sandra...

How's your first day on plan going?

Saturday, July 08, 2006


Becky's sister called at 8:00 this morning and left a message that Becky is having the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could rush to the hospital and just sit in the waiting room until he gets here but she's 1500 miles away. So, all I can do is tell you girls, say a little prayer and go shopping for something really cute to send Sam.

And cry.

Thursday, July 06, 2006

A Little Inspiration from Kristen

I got this quote from one of the articles Kristen posted a link to last week. It inspired me and I'm hoping it will do the same for all of you.
"We must all suffer from one of the two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." Jim Rohn
I'm ready for next week and the Body For Life program. I'm ready to push myself outside of my comfort zone.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

I tried to start the new program today, but I am sick; sore throat, headache, runny nose, and a cough. I'm going to try and mend the rest of this week and start fresh on Monday. Hopefully whatever this is will be gone by then.
How was everyone's 4th? I have some pretty interesting pictures of David baking my birthday cake that I'll be posting on my blog sometime in the next few days.

Monday, July 03, 2006


Happy Birthday, Sandy, I hope you have a great day!!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

The book I ordered, "Body For Life", arrived yesterday. I'm going to start reading it today. My plan is to start the 12 week program on Wednesday. I'm going to re-evaluate everything from my diet to exercise. I think it's time for an overhaul. David has even said he'll try it with me. That's exciting!

Friday, June 30, 2006

Okay, one more and then I'll stop bothering you guys

I am going to a water park this weekend. I thought it was just going to be Jason and me, but as it turns out, we are having some people from work come, too. I was fine with being in a bikini with Jason and a bunch of people I don't know, but I am really nervous about having to be practically in my underwear and wet with no make-up with people I do know.

Just needed to tell someone that. It doesn't make it better, but at least someone else can either laugh or cry with me. :)

One more: what you see is not what you think you see

This site is incredible.

A few good articles

This one is about getting out of your comfort zone. Really challenging and good! I loved this quote from Lance Armstrong:

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit however, it lasts forever.”

(For me, the pain is getting up early to exercise, not the muscle pain so much. But's all about sacrifice for greater gain.)

This one is more interesting on a psychological level. It doesn't have a lot to do with fitness, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

My goals for this weekend are to get lots of activity and active rest and to indulge sparingly in sweets and fried stuff and eat veggies and lean protein as much as possible. I also need to avoid soda and drink lots of water to stay hydrated in the heat. I want to keep my goals in mind while also having a nice little relaxing vacation.

Have a great weekend, girls!

Thursday, June 29, 2006

I've noticed a couple of things recently:

if I don't exercise for two or three days in a row I start feeling lethargic and achey.

if I over-do on the sugar or carbs (which, of course, turn into sugar) my arthritis flares up

I think all the soy protein that I eat has really helped my hair, it is longer than it has ever been


Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Body Love by J

Breasts. Full, but not huge. Not saggy even after 44 years and 2 kids.
Lips. Nicely shaped. Perfect for kissing. (Do lips count?)
Skin. Clear and soft almost everywhere.
Shape. Hourglass, feminine, girlish.
So, I guess if I keep confessing this over and over whether I actually believe it or not it might actually sink into my brain????

I love my round tummy beause it has been home to 4 great kids, that and the fact that Mark loves it.

Great idea Sandy.

Body Love, Part 2

I love my fleshy, fat thighs because they help me run. And they connect the rest of my lower body to my extremely hot butt.


Body Love

I've been thinking about creating this post for a while. Kristens recent post spurred me on to actually posting it.
If you would like (and when I say "if you would like" I am really saying "you have to") create a post about a part or parts of your body that may not be your favorite and give a reason to love it/them. Please don't follow it up with anything negative about any other part of your body. I'll get it going.

I really love my pudgy abdomen because one day it will make a very comfortable home for a baby.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

Answer me this

I'm not admitting to anything here (ahem), but is it wrong and/or sinful to be motivated to workout by wanting to look hot and sexy?

I always thought it was vanity (sinful), but I find it is a major motivator at times (sometimes my only motivator), and I'm wondering if that is bad, a sin, or something that will lead me to an eating disorder down the road. (Hmm, I realize many--maybe most?--eating disorders don't start out of a "I want to look good" mindset; they often start from a desire to control uncontrollable situations or gain attention.)

I don' t think there's anything wrong with wanting to be fit for your husband, but what if your motivation was also convoluted with desires to look good just for your own sake--or to drive your ex-boyfriend insane with jealous. Hmmm...

I was horrible this weekend! I ate so much junk it's sad. We went to the beach and that was my excuse to have cotton candy and ice cream. It's only a once in a while sort of thing so I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm back on track starting today. I managed to lose 2.5 lbs last week. That feels pretty good! I need to kick my butt in gear this week if I want to keep it up. I should be getting BFL book soon! I'm ready to try something new and see what happens. Erin is staying with my sister-in-law until tomorrow so I've been taking it easy and enjoying some "me" time. I didn't go for a bike ride yesterday, but I plan on going for one today.
How is everyone doing?

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Bye Bye

I just deleted my old blog "Genuinely Jeanne." I'm taking names for a new one if you'd like to contribute ideas. On another note:

I hate to confess my failings.
I haven't gained, but I haven't lost either. I haven't been eating right and I haven't been exercising. I was talking to a friend yesterday about the things we do to escape pain; we were talking specifically about drinking, but then I got to thinking about how I do it, too; I eat to escape pain, I don't exercise because it hurts (my back specifically-which I'm going to the doctor in a week or so to find out what's wrong and to fix it.) and I watch TV to escape pain.
I'm kind of a mess right now. Pray for me, okay?

Friday, June 23, 2006

I'm reading a book, A Weekend to Change Your Life. evidently she has written a couple of others on the same subject of women taking charge of their lives. A lot of what she says I do agree with, especially the part about taking care of ourselves, our whole selves - body, soul, and spirit. I like that she talks about the need to carve time for yourself out of your busy life and that sometimes means saying NO to people, letting go of unhealthy relationships and just doing things because you feel like it is required of you.

What I don't like about the book, which she states in the first few pages and it kind of put me on the defensive for the whole book was that she left her husband so she could find herself.

She doesn't give any prerequisite for this, she doesn't say he was a bad husband or unfaithful, just that she left him so she could be alone and do the things she wanted to do.

That's a bit drastic, I think, and it did sort of ruin the rest of the book for me.

I'm off to start The Feminine Face of God.

I am going to add 5 more pounds to my bench presses starting next week, that means I'm up to 40lbs.
I have also added some stair climbing to my daily routine. It really hurts my knees so I will go slow.
I still haven't picked up the bike, just can't seem to get to Walmart.
I have worked out every night this week but one.
I started counting calories again just to see how much I was eating. On most normal days, eating healthy and feeling satisfied I am eating between 1600 - 1800 calories.

My weight remains the same.

Thursday, June 22, 2006


I ordered "Body For Life" for myself and for my twin sister. It's my birthday present to both of us. My twin, Brandy, called me today. We've been talking about health recently and I told her a week ago that we should start checking in with each other. So today she called to tell me that she weighed herself and what the results were. We both decided we were going to do something about it. Of course, I've been at this for a while now, but she's just starting so I want to give her all the support I can. I told her I would order the books for us today and we could start as soon as we get them. I wish I could be closer to her to help. She's got two young kids and works 10 hour shifts four days a week. I know it's going to be hard for her, but I know she can do it. I wish she had access to a computer so she could join us here at skinny. That would be perfect!
Anyway, if you could all say a little prayer for her I'd appreciate it.
Hi Ladies! It's hot here. I'm glad I work in a nicely air conditioned facility. It's a cool 68 degrees in here.
The workouts have been great. Erin and I have been riding bikes three days a week ( we rode in 91 degree weather yesterday) and I've been lifting weights three times a week. The diet has been better. I'm tired of food. Last night I didn't eat at my usual time because I was bored with everything. By the time I did eat I was so hungry I ate pasta. I'm going to the grocery store today to try and stock up on a better variety of things. Watch out Trader Joe's! :)
Kristen, can you please tell me more about Body For Life? Do you think the nutrition portion of the book is sound? I'm not worried about the workout part as I seem to be doing okay there. I just want someone to tell me what to eat and when to eat it so I don't have to think about it so much. I've heard the book was pretty easy to follow. What's your take?
Anyone have any good and good for you recipes for summer? Anything light and fresh would be appreciated! :)

The following is not diet related!
David only has four weeks of school left. (Imagine me doing a happy dance!) He took to of his ASE certification tests last month and we just found out this week that he passed both. I am so proud of him that my eyes are welling up with tears as I type. He always underestimates himself just because he wasn't good in school and didn't go on to college. I keep telling him that college isn't for everyone. He's so mechanically inclined. He can't write a paper, but give him a broken engine and he'll take care of it. Not to mention the amazing things he can do with a computer. Trust me, I've crashed ours enough to know that he can fix anything! :)
I just wanted to brag on him a little.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

for sandra and my other peeps, a story:

How's work?
Work is a revelation... a wormhole into a parellel dimension where


Apparently, all I have ever needed to do to become Attractive Supreme is

1. Tie my hair up
2. Don ill-fitting tuxedo pants
3. Work in a steakhouse

I am being hit on at a rate of three passes per hour (co-workers and guests alike). I have been earnestly and sincerely asked to break my marriage vows (co-worker). I barely survived this at first (yes I cried) , so sheltered have I been for 27 years.

But now...
I can handle it. I can cope. I can roll my eyes and say "you are scum."
I can laugh and tell my ego that none of this is worth getting inflated over, these idle remarks are boorish. I can tell my inner Passion and Purity'd adolescent that: I am in no danger. Crass as it all is, it is work stuff and I can leave it there.

But I thought I should let you know how work "is"!

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Monday, June 19, 2006

The fastest way to lose weight

The craziest thing happened on my SparkPeople account. For some reason in logged another lady in as me and she posted her info to my account so it said I was 5'8 and 160 lbs. Yeah, I wish. Just thought it was kind of funny.

Interesting article

on emotional eating. We talk about this every once in a while on Finding Skinny, but I thought it did a good job of summarizing the feelings and things many of us go through.

My week is going good. I'm trying to make healthy choices, although with birthday celebrations spread out over three days this week, it's hard to not want to just eat crazy and spoil myself! :)
Happy Monday ladies!!!! How is everyone? Things here are going well. My weekend was horrible food wise, but Erin and I did go swimming on Saturday. We opted not to go rollerblading because it was so hot. We're planning on going today before it gets to warm.
I made some yummy cranberry oatmeal muffins last night, and had two for breakfast this morning. I threw in some flax meal too.
What do you ladies thing of this article? I'm thinking about incorporating it into my routine so my week would look something like this.

Zone Training

Intensity: 70% Maximum Heart Rate (MHR)
Volume: 30 minutes
Mode: optional


Interval Training

Intensity: 60% MHR with 30-45 second Sprint Intervals incorporated every 3 minutes
Volume: 30 minutes or 10 Sprint Intervals
Mode: optional


Mixed Mode Zone Training

This session utilizes three different modes of cardiovascular training. Training with this method adds variety, challenges muscles to work in diverse capacities, and alters perceived level of effort (intense training should not feel as difficult as you switch modes of exercises - you just have to try it!). Perform ten minutes of each mode as described below.

Intensity: 70% MHR x 5 minutes; Increase intensity to 80% MHR x five minutes
Volume: Perform for three different modes, total of 30 minutes
Mode: Optional three (i.e., treadmill, bike, stair master)


Sunday OFF!

This is of course just something I'm thinking about. Erin and I are really into riding our bikes right now and I don't want to give that up. I think I could incorporate this with the bike rides.
Here's to a great week!

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Back to the basics

I exercised this morning ( for the first time in a little while) and have laid out an ambitious plan for the next three weeks. We'll see how it goes! I'm really trying to add more non exercise physical activity (NEPA) into my life (walks on my break at work, a few extra push-ups and jumping jacks here and there, doing some bicep curls while cooking, etc.).

I also ate a burger today called the Widowmaker, so...

but it had avocado in it and was delicious!
Food Journal
I had a few cheats yesterday. I ate two girl scout cookies and an ice cream from Schwans. It's not the end of the world. Erin and I went for a 4 mile bike ride and man was it hot! It wasn't Oklahoma hot or anything, but it was warm. The weather channel said it was 81 degrees, but if felt more like 90. At least we have more of a dry heat and not the sticky humid heat I was used to in OK. We are planning on going roller blading today and maybe swimming to cool off. It should be fun. Have a great weekend ladies!

Friday, June 16, 2006

This Next Week

I'm going to work on getting back in to the groove of things this next week. Due to a series of crazy events all in the last two weeks (and my own attitude about these events), I have totally backed off the exercise and eating right. So I'm making myself accountable to you all to do the right thing and get back on the bandwagon this next week, starting this weekend! Today!

Peace, ladies!
Happy Friday! I'm really looking forward to a nice relaxing weekend. :)
Here is my Food Journal for yesterday. We had lunch out because it was Erins last day of 4th grade! Yep, she's officially a 5th grader. It's amazing how quickly the year went by. I also had half of a No Pudge brownie. I've noticed that when I take a nap in the afternoon, I wake up craving chocolate. We were supposed to go roller blading yesterday, but I took a nap instead. I did do my strength training which consisted of the same exercises and weights as Tuesday but I did 2 sets of 10 reps. I literally had to force myself to do it because I knew I would have to post here if I didn't.
I really need to stay away from the scale. It's totally freaking me out!
Today is our bike riding day. I mapped out the trail we ride on using a nifty tool Kristen introduced us to in her running blog and our total route is 3.5 miles. We decided that next week we would go a little farther.
Here's to a great weekend ladies! Keep on keeping on!

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Hey Aola, does the exercise you're asking about look like this?
I think it's called a leg curl or I've seen it called a hamstring curl. I'm pretty sure they are the same. I hope that helps. :)

Here is my food journal for yesterday. I didn't eat enough, but I still felt realy good and had a lot of energy. I ran out of fat free milk in the evening so I couldn't have my evening protein shake.
Erin and I went on a 35 minute bike ride. I'm not sure how many miles we went, but I'm going to look it up now. We had a lot of fun. That's the most important part.
Today, I'm going to continue to eat right, drink all my water, do a strength training session, and think good things about my body.

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Here's the recipe for muffins:

ok, I just made this up but it works...and you may kind of have to adjust it to whatever you are adding into it
1 -1/2 to 2 cups of flour ( I use unbleached most of the time but you could probably use a soy flour or whole wheat)
1 cup oatmeal
1 T. baking powder
1 tsp. salt

that's the basic stuff you need

add 1/2 - 1 cup of oil or you can also substitute yogurt (when you use yogurt they are kind of gooey but have a good flavor)
and 1/2 to 1 cup of some kind of sugar or sweetener (depending on what you are adding) (I sometimes use brown sugar)

then you get really creative.

I used chopped cherries and pecans once.


or banana, walnuts, cinnamon

or peanut butter

dried cranberries and orange juice.

Throw in some flax seed or meal.

The consistency needs to be moist but pretty sticky.
Place in muffin cups, bake 20 min. at 400 degrees.

It's fun to come up with new ones.

One day down...

I typed up an entire entry and then blogger lost it! Oh well, I guess my fingers need the exercise. :)
Here is my food journal for yesterday. I stayed in my calorie range and only had one small piece of dark chocolate in the afternoon. I also drank all my water. I took a two hour nap in the afternoon so I wasn't able to squeeze in any cardio, but I did my strenght training session conisisting of the following exercises doing 5 sets of 6 reps for each.

Bench Press @ 65lbs
Leg extension @ 35lbs
Full Squat @ 65lbs
Standing Military Press @65 lbs
Deadlifts @65 lbs
Seated Cable Rows @ 35 lbs

My goal for today is to take a nice long bike ride and stay within my calorie range. I also want to increase my positive self talk.
We'll see how it goes.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Ok, so just how much exercise do I have to do to see a difference????

I'm working out at least 3 times a week usually more. I have increased my reps and the weight I am using for bench presses. I've kept my leg work out at 25 lbs hoping not to hurt my knees. I'm still doing yoga, usually two mornings a week but I just see no difference what-so-ever. My arms still jiggle as do the inside of my thighs.

I'm not giving up but it would be nice to see some results. Mark is going to go pick up my new recumbent (?) bike next time he is in Ada with the truck. It will replace my walking, at least until fall.

But, you know, I guess I do just feel better about myself for trying and not quitting. I've been buying some new clothes and not beating myself up because I still wear the same size. I find myself caring more about the way I look and to be honest I think I look pretty good in them.

I put on my new tankini and swam with Em the other day.
Here's a link to the article you requested, Kristen!
About The "E" Word

Good morning ladies!
I really need to be held accountable for my eating now that David is back in school and things can return to almost normal. He only has six weeks of school left, so I really need to build up the good habits.
So, I'm going to post here a link to my daily spark menu for you ladies to check. This week (my "week" runs Tuesday to Tuesday) my goal is to eat 2,000 calories a day with no little extras that I tend to add in.
I've seriously been emotional eating the last week because a) it's almost that time of the month and b) it looks like we aren't getting the house I'd secretly been hoping for.
My other goal this week is to make exercise about having fun. I read an article in Prevention this morning that inspired me. Here is a snippet from the article by Geneen Roth.
""Sometimes it is necessary/ to reteach a thing its loveliness," writes the poet Galway Kinnell. the reason to move is to reteach our bodies their loveliness. We live most of our lives in our minds, but the fact is that we are spirits clothed in flesh and blodd and bones. By not moving our bodies, we are we are depriving ourselves of connecting to that long ago child wh loved running, dancing, and jumping in the sun and air. We've replaced the singular, personal joy of moving outdoors with the grin-and-bear-it machine workouts. Yuck. So, what to do? Stop battering, threatening, and torturing yourself. Stop whipping yourself into shape. Understand that taking the misery (and therefore the rebellion) out of exercise is a Major Big Deal because it involved unlearning self-hatred and, as Kinnell suggests, relearning your own loveliness.
Now take a breath and do the following experiment:
Say to yourself, Okay little missy-it's time to whip that butt into shape! Feel the tension in your body when you say those words.
Then, notice the differenc-how your heart opens and your muscles relax-when you say, Listen, I know you've been trying really hard to have a perfect body. Either that, or you've been beating yourself up for not trying hard enough. How about an alternative to all that crashing and burning? How about starting to appreciate the body you already have?"

It's a really great article and it reminded me to take it easy on myself. We should all be a bit nicer to ourselves. :)
So, be looking for my food journal post and please make all the comments you want.
My workout for today will be a bike ride with Erin (provided that it doesn't rain) and full body strenght training.

Monday, June 12, 2006

I went for two bike rides this weekend. Erin I went for one on Saturday. We rode for over an hour and had a great time. The weather was perfect and at the paticular park we went to there are great trails and it's right by the bay so the breeze is always nice. We went to the same park on Sunday with David, but my knees were so sore we only rode for about thirty minutes. Erin and I have decided that we would like to go bike riding three times a week. It's really fun exercise. We've also thought about pulling out the roller blades.
My eating was horrible this weekend, but David starts back to school tonight so I'll start back on program tomorrow. Wish me luck. :)


I am moonlighting as a waitress for a high-end steakhouse. I sometimes make $30/hour, sometimes only$18 ish. The job offers the kind of scheduling I need, hours that don't take me away from Judah too much.
I have lost six pounds already in two weeks. I never eat dinner anymore.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

You know, I just want for ONE time someone besides my husband to look at me and say "Wow! Looks like you've been working out." One time and I would be happy, instead of looking at me and seeing nothing more than a fat, old woman.

Well, then.... get your fat ass in gear and pump that iron.


I have been looking at stationery bikes since I just am not going to walk in 100 degree weather. I looked at one last night that had a big ol' chair-like seat and the peddles were to the front of the bike. The seat looked comfortable but would the peddles out front be harder on the knees?
I used one at the last hotel we stayed in that I really liked but I'm sure it was way more expensive than I can spend. It was like a regular bike but had built in computerized programs, very cool.

Any thoughts about bikes?

Friday, June 09, 2006

This has absolutely nothing to do with health or fitness but I just knew you girls would appreciate it...

I just took a business call from a man in Europe. I know, Europe is a big place.. I didn't catch where in Europe because he was hard for this Okie to understand and it was a very brief conversation.

But, oh, my, gosh, he had the sexiest voice!!!!!

Thursday, June 08, 2006

spinning off into insanity....

After my post last week, things got a little out of control, but I'm reeling myself back in. For a few days I lost all motivation. I thought about going on the Starbucks diet. Everyone I see at Starbucks is skinny. I thought about ordering Hoodia in the hope that it would make me hotia. I thought about just giving up and letting whatever happens happen. It took a few days of venting my frustration to realize that all the chocolate chip cookie ice cream sandwhiches weren't going to fix anything. In fact, they will only make it worse. So, I've kicked myself in the butt once again and I'm going to keep trying things until something works. I'm still working out and have added two days of running. I'm re-aranging the calorie intake to include 2400 calories for two weeks. At that point, I'll drop it down to 2100 and see what happens. I cut out my afternoon dark chocolate and the sugar free ice cream bars are no more. I've also exchanged my morning Starbucks for coffee made at home sweetend with a low calorie mocha creamer. I'm adding in a Curves workout here and there because I'm here for seven hours and might as well move my booty while I'm here.
It's been a little crazy this week. Erin's had dance practice after school every day, and David is out of school. It's tough to follow an eating plan when he is home, but I'm sticking to my guns.
On a good note, I bought 9 lbs of oatmeal from Costco yesterday for eight bucks. I thought it was a pretty good deal considering the oatmeal at Safeway is four bucks for 2lbs. Nine pounds should last me a while.
I really need you ladies to help keep me focused and on track. Don't let me slack on checking in here. If i'm not posting, I'm probably eating something I shouldn't be or finding an excuse not to work out.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

So, what have you been doing to keep yourself fit?

I have pretty much quit walking, the weather has been too warm to enjoy walking even right before dark but the worst part is the bugs.. the mosquitoes are just horrible here this year and you can't go out on the walking trail without being attacked by horseflies. It has become just not worth it.

I've gotten used to the weight bench, actually enjoy working out on it so I'm doing that about 3 times a week. I added something new to my leg workout last week.. laying on my tummy lifting that way...burn, baby, burn. I don't know what that's called but it is killer. Then I do leg extensions the other way. I increased my weight this week by 5 pounds for bench presses. I'm lifting more very slowly. I do heavier weights and curls a couple of times a week in addition to this work out routine. I do preacher curls on the bench, doing reps of 3 x 10 of each thing, legs and arms.

My eating hasn't been totally clean but still good. I don't beat myself up for having a bowl of vanilla bean ice cream once in a while but I'm eating lots of fresh veggies. I have eaten fresh squash out of my garden several times and the produce at the market is getting good.

My weight is right where it has been for the last 3 months but it doesn't really bother me like it did for a while. I just don't want it to go up again.

Sometimes I feel good about myself and what I'm doing to stay healthy sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like a body builder and other times I think about what Sandy said recently... you would look at me and think I've never seen the inside of a gym.

I'm having the blue dress I bought shortened to show off a little of that nice toned and tanned calf and I bought two pair of new shoes because I couldn't decide whether I wanted to go dressier or more casual. Now I have the option.

I don't feel like I have given up but rather like it has become my lifestyle which was our goal to begin with. I would still like to lose about 35 pounds but without big changes I don't see that happening anytime soon.

It took me 20 years to get here, hopefully I have 20 more years to work at getting rid of it.

Friday, June 02, 2006

The Lovely Marilyn Monroe

I just had to share this image with you gals. Hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Food Philosophy: A Reaction

I've been thinking about Sandy's last post, about food, record-keeping, other's people advice. So, this post is me trying to work out my food issues, or analyze them, or at least address why I think the way I do.

First, I was strangely drawn to Sandy's itemized sparknotes list. I found myself listing the food I ate that day in my head, again and again, judging it. I thought about listing it for you to see, half-confession/half-brag. I don't even count calories, so the whole thought was ridiculous, but still, I liked her list, the record of it. It was like my brain saw a way to classify my days, to judge my progress on the eating front.

Second,we classify food as good and bad, giving it some moral authority. We are good when we eat "good" food, bad when we "bad" food. The world thinks this way -- even the way the people at the magazine refer to it as eating "clean" has a moral judgment with it. I think this way, but I don't think it's true. If I eat right (there it is again), does that make me a better person? And when "right" changes, adding more protein or calories or whatever, will I feel bad or insecure about the boundary lines of eating?

And then I thought about my classifications of "good" and "bad" food, and they are so unscientific. Basically, my brain classifies all home-made or grown food as "good," even if that homemade food is chocolate-chip cookies. How dumb is that? I'm linking "good" with the thought and emotion that go into the food.

But, what if it's all "good"? What if food can't really be classified? I remember telling a friend I was making catfish one night, and they asked in horror if I was frying it. That night, I wasn't, but now, when I do fry it, I remember that exclamation. She was truly horrified at the thought of all those fatty particles clogging up my blood stream. Can one night of fried catfish, undo a lifetime of salads?

I'm not sure where I'm heading with all these questions. Only, Sandy's post made me think. People's frustration made me think, and they also made me yearn for something much simpler. I want to disassociate food with bad/good. I want food to be food: nourishing, yummy, essential. That doesn't mean I don't want to feed my body good things -- I do -- and it doesn't mean I'm not dreaming already about shedding this ball on my belly -- I am. It does mean I want my food choices to be smart, not based in condemnation or guilt, and I want to be a follower of moderation. Carbs won't kill me or make me less of a human being. The rare night of grease won't ensure a heart attack. This find skinny way of life is hard, but I want to make it a doable way of life, and I can't do that if it becomes a moral thing for me.

So, that's a whole lot of nonsense, that would probably best be ignored.