Sunday, December 28, 2008

what about .... ?

Okay, so it sounds like we all need to do a cleanse... let's start by picking a day (after New Years Day) and start by first cleaning out our kitchens. Go thru the fridge, the cabinets, the pantry and get rid of all the stuff that you know you shouldn't be eating, the stuff that is too much tempation to keep around.. you know what needs to go.

That could be step ONE to our cleanse.

Friday, December 26, 2008

Starting to care

Just saw the Christmas video of me looking mighty chubby. I can ignore that I feel big, but I can't ignore (now) that I look big. Guess I'm in need of some New Year's resolutions, but for now, I want to comfort myself by eating an entire bag of chocolates.


I need some sort of balance--actually eating healthy/well--without a) eating everything in sight or b) denying myself everything and spiraling into calorie-counting-obsessive hell. Sometimes I can't convince myself that I need nurturing until I remind myself that my daughter deserves a sane, healthy mother--but I need to find that nurturing somewhere besides chocolate chip cookie dough.

Sunday, December 14, 2008

WEll..... I hate to do this, especially at this time of year, but it is the needful thing...

Sometime right after Thanksgiving I noticed that my jeans were a little harder to button than usual, so, I forced myself to get on the dreaded scale... I had gained 10 pounds!! Since then I have managed to lose 5 of that, but, that just isn't good enough. I need to get rid of the extra 5 so I can at least stay level (although I am still not happy about what "level" is for me).

I have been walking everyday and this week I doubled my distance. Tomorrow, as much as I hate it, I am going to start counting calories.

Other than the walking I haven't been doing much to stay healthy and probably won't do much more until after the holidays. I'm not going to lie to myself or you and say that I will be eating healthy this month :) but I do continue to take a gzillion supplements and vitamins and I do stay in good health. Mark and Em have just had one cold after another this season, so far I have not gotten sick (knock on wood).

But... come January I will be throwing out the leftover holiday goodies, cleaning out the pantry and starting fresh with what I know to be better eating habits.

So, ladies, what have you been doing to stay healthy and what are your plans to survive the holidays?

I need to make Levi promise to never, ever make another Italian Cream Cake and leave it at my house :)

Monday, October 27, 2008


My mom is having a "female" procedure today. The doctor is very good, but I'm worried about pain management for her. Could you say a prayer or send a light her way today (or when you read this)?


Friday, October 24, 2008

I thought I would write this here rather than on my blog since my blog has been rather serious lately and this is totally frivilous.

When I was in high school I was pretty enough to sleep until 15 minutes before school started, roll out of bed, brush my teeth and barely make it to school on time. not so anymore

But, yesterday I did.After a restless, sleepless night I rolled out of bed brushed my teeth and hair and off to the hospital I went. I knew I looked like crap but at that moment just didn't care.

Sitting in the hallway, waiting on the nurses to finish bathing Mother I watched the many women who were buzzing around me. The ones who had a distintive hair style (not just hair in a pony tail or lame/limp unkempt hair), make-up, and clothes that fit their bodies were the ones that looked like they (for lack of better words)were important. .. maybe they looked professional, or at least they were important to themselves.
The other women, the ones who looked like I did, looked like trash. Sorry, but we do have a lot of white-trailer trash around here and that is what they looked like.

So, needless to say.. before I rolled off to the hospital this morning I washed and blowed dried my hair and took 5 minutes to put on a little make-up.

I felt better about myself for it.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Note to self

I am definitely in need of a more supportive sports bra if I'm going to try running again. Ahem.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Natural News Lots of interesting articles on this website.

Saturday, July 12, 2008


I have had two migraines this week. I usually get a mild, easily-gotten-rid-of one on the first day of my period. The first one passed reasonably easily, but the one today was terrible. I woke up with it as usual. I thought maybe I had just slept wrong or something, but it didn't go away. It was a bad one that made me nauseated. I went back to bed after taking 4 ibuprofen and a mild prescription muscle relaxant. It eased off, but never went away. I still have it. Any ideas? Do you guys get them?

Thursday, July 03, 2008

All By Myself

I get to spend three-and-a-half days at my home by myself this weekend. Jerry is going to Eastern WA to visit friends and family. I was going, but couldn't find a dog sitter. No biggee...I get to be home, by myself for a good portion of the time. I'm have big plans - caulk the bathtub, clean and organize the garage, tidy up and beautify the "pond", burn the weeds in the driveway, clean house, etc. No other opinions to consider. I'll only be missing muscles, but I can probably figure it out. I can eat what and when I want. I get the whole bed to myself.
Am I weird?
I may get to babysit Alysssa - which will be the highlight of the weekend for me, of course. I'm one of those goofy Grammas. I sure hope Kristen calls me.


I looked at the scale and took my measurements for the first time in about a year last night.


Remind me that I'm only three and a half weeks post-partum and this will get better.

I honestly don't feel as big as I must look...and yesterday someone (who doesn't know me and didn't have to be nice--long story) guessed that I weighed about 40 lbs less than I do.

I honestly do not want to focus on my weight or to get down on myself or to spiral into self-loathing (like I did a few years ago) when I have a beautiful daughter to enjoy (not to mention, set an example for).

There has to be some way to motivate myself to eat well and exercise without shame, berating myself or becoming obsessive again. Right? (I think I may have answered this question in my last paragraph.)

I think I also have to let go of the dream that I could be a size 8. It took me to 1300 calories a day, massive amounts of self-hatred and fear, and a fanatical obsession with counting calories to get there before--and that was very short-lived. I can't and won't be that again. Seriously, thin thighs aren't worth it--and I have to let go of that single-digit "dream."

Saturday, June 28, 2008

depends on how you look at it.

Changes are coming and i, for the first time, am not willing to embrace them wholeheartedly. I embrace them theoretically. I embrace them as the choices that are in keeping with all my big Ideas. they are ideologically-sound choices.

but i am tired of change. Change-- well, sucks. and though i have no reason in particular for things staying the way they are other than they haven't been this way long enough for me to get tired of them, still...

i don't feel ready for any big changes.

and my friends, these changes will be big. and Chris thinks they will be good. but that isn't how i am looking at it.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

I have a question. Now, don't laugh at me because I'm serious. I would really like to know this, I have asked other people and they just think I'm "trying" to be funny but seriously I wonder about things like this...

It's in regards to lesbian couples:

If two women chose to be involved in a lesbian relationship, chose to have a same sex partner, two women, no man because women is what they prefer...

Why does one of them almost always dress and look like a man???

Really, I'm not being judgemental because I can definitely see advantages to a female partner.... I just want to know.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

success and failure

I told him and I wish I hadn't

and in unrelated news, i got A's in my classes.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Thursday, May 29, 2008

You have to have gone six months without having a period to be considered post menopausal, I've gone two. I am so happy to be finished with that part of my life I can't even tell you how happy!!

I have lost ten pounds. I thought at first it was getting the new puppy because I started taking them all for a walk every morning instead of just hit and miss walks every once in a while and that may be part of it, but, I'm pretty sure it is the getting thru menopause. I feel better - I mean that makes sense because for the six months before I stopped I was bleeding heavily and painfully for weeks at a time with very little time in between periods. I was worn out.

I've heard women who were ashamed or sad because of menopause - I feel FREE!!

I know I need to do some reading about how to adjust my eating and supplements to maintain optimum health and I will as soon as I make it thru the first six months and can totally believe it is finally OVER!!

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Just laying around

I thought by now I'd be walking like crazy to get labor going...not on this ankle! Boo-hoo!

Only a few more weeks now...

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

What not to wear

I love Stacy and Clinton. I've noticed on their show "What not to Wear" that for the women who are hard to fit they have the clothes altered. Now, I can't afford to take my clothes to be altered so I've been practicing a little on those cheap shirts I got at the Salvation Army. I can risk ruining a $1.50 shirt. Most of the time for me to get a shirt that fits across the bust the bottom of it is way to wide. I altered three tee shirts this morning by tucking in the side seams and it made a big difference. I even got brave and shortened a more expensive shirt that I bought last year and never wore because it was just too long - looked like a night shirt when I put it on. I like it much better now.

I might even get good at this.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Third trimester bitching

The bad news: my hands and feet are so swollen and painful, they make me want to cry.

The good news: I haven't noticed my back hurting in several days!

It's all perspective, I guess.

Only a few more weeks....

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

many questions

any suggestions for student/teacher wardrobe that will last for five years?
also, a good lotion being that I live in the desert?
and bras? what kind of bras do you like?

Saturday, April 12, 2008

latest news????

I guess you have all heard or read that now "they" have decided that we don't really need to drink 8 glasses of water a day. Ooops.

I was reading an article today that made me happy in my heart about Resistant Starch. Have you read anything about it?

Supposedly certain starches (potatoes, grains, and beans) after they are cooked and cooled they create the resistant starch (the starch becomes crystallized) a form that resists digestion. You have to eat them cooled (not reheated) to get the benefits.
It works as a fiber, it increases your bodies ability to burn fat, fills you up and reduces hunger. You don't absorb the carbs because they are crystallized and you can't digest them.

The article said it had other health benefits too.

A half to one cup a day is all you need.

Here is the list of foods they had in the article:
Potatoes and Yams
Brown rice

I had about a 1/2 cup of black beans and corn today.

Interesting, huh?

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Make-up primer

It turns out the ingredients found in pretty much all make-up primers are the same as in this product: Monistat Soothing Care Chafing Relief Powder-Gel. Don't worry, it's not Monistat in the traditional "treating a yeast infection" sense. I bought some at Wal-mart yesterday for less than $7.00 and love it! I didn't need to reapply my make-up at all yesterday--and it was a LONG day. I got this tip through some beauty bloggers, and it's working great so far.

Thursday, March 27, 2008


I bought one of these sexy beasts:

I know you all envy my hotness. Hopefully it will help my lower back and belly feel more supported; I'll let you know how it goes...

Sunday, March 16, 2008

I went into one of those little mall type dress shops today where almost everything is trendy, expensive and SMALL and all the girls working there are like 12 years old and a size 0. They had one (small) rack of plus size clothes.

I came out feeling old and fat and depressed. I hate that feeling.

Remind me not to do that again, okay?

Monday, March 10, 2008

Healthy beauty and fashion

I've really been enjoying this website: 5 Resolutions.

Be sure to check out the podcast from March 5--it's very cool.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Advise me!

I'm thinking about buying a support belly band. I've heard they can help prevent stretch marks (a little) and help with back support and all that good stuff.

They are the opposite of sexy, I know. :)

Any thoughts?

Have you guys been watching...

How to Look Good Naked on Lifetime?

Talk about encouraging and loving your body! Good stuff. You can watch a few episodes online. I really enjoyed the last episode about a gal who was fixated on her hips and thighs--hit a little close to home for me.

Saturday, January 26, 2008

I'm looking for just a nice black wedge to wear with pants...

too Mary Jane?

What do you think?

Sunday, January 20, 2008

I read an interesting book this weekend - "Organic Housekeeping", lots of information, but, if you are germ-a-phobic like I am it might send you into a tailspin.

I've done a lot of cleaning this weekend. :)

Thursday, January 17, 2008

I saw this dress in a catalog today and thought of Kristen. There were polka dot shoes, too.

Sunday, January 13, 2008

As I was jumping over hurdles, climbing over cargo nets, and sliding down slides today I thought "Why can't working out be this much fun?". I'm sure I had to have been burning calories like crazy chasing Erin and her friend Tori around the play ground as we played our favorite game, secret agent. As we got ready to come home, I mentioned to Erin that it would be fun to include it in our morning walks. She thought so too. So, tomorrow morning at around 7:15 you'll find using playing on the play ground! Working out is so much more fun when you allow your inner child to take part!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

No, really. I want to buy new spring clothes. Do you think it might hurry up some warmer weather?

I've been looking thru my closet to see what I actually "need" to add this year.

I ordered a couple of pair of shorts. I love Erika shorts from JC Penny - they fit comfortably and look nice. I got a hot pink and an aqua which I already own one pair of each but the color selection is minimum.

I will probably order a couple of tees from Eddie Bauer -their classic tee is my all time favorite.

I really need to find a shirt to wear with the blue linen pants I bought last year and never wore. I think I want a white wrap shirt, Cold Water Creek has one I like but I keep hoping I'll find something I like even more.

Other than that I don't need much, maybe a couple of sleeveless cotton shirts. They look a little dressier than a tee.

So have you guys seen anything you won't be able to live without for summer?

Monday, January 07, 2008

I want :

to have miraculously lost 50 pounds without having to diet
to have had a boob job
and to buy a new spring wardrobe

oh, well,

dream on