call me crazy

but I am thinking about getting The Biggest Loser game for the Wii. I thought it would be something fun for Erin and I to do together. We can even challenge each other. She doesn't need to lose any weight, but I've noticed that her stamina isn't so great. Plus it would be fun for us. She seems pretty interested in it. We don't have the fitness board, but it says you don't have to have it. What do you think?

Try ..try...try again! Right? I'm back on the wagon. I'm not drinking anymore soda and I'm going to really pay attention to what I'm eating and when. I've got to get this under control now!

La

She called tonight, it was late but i had been awake shortly before. it was almost three a.m. and she texted

that something unspeakably horrible had happened.

I have known this girl, this little China-pet as I call her, for some time now. We worked together. When she started dating him, I knew it was a fling. It was something she was doing because she is young- he is inappropriate, but temporary, and I felt she was entitled to her youth.

She is out of his league, looks-wise, too pretty and young, socio-economically from a stable family who sent her to private highschool and now she's an art major at the best school in my hometown.

I didn't like her at first, something about her was off-puttingly intense. She seemed to stare at me from kohl-rimmed deep-set blue eyes.

But that was so long ago now.
She won me over. She tried and that was enough for me. It is much too hard for me to actively dislike someone. It isn't in my nature and she is wonderful. she is my own personal Alice from Wonderland.

oh, the many silly games we play. and the many truths we tell, the nonsense we smoke, and the hope and faith we share.

He beat the shit out of her tonight.

By friday, I'll have his head on a plate.

Dinners this Week

last night: Arugula and Steak Salad + Eggplant Stir-fry by Chris
tonight: pizza! prosciutto and arugula
tomorrow: mustard chicken+ broccoli
mango chicken tacos, tuna farfalle and shrimp arrabiata to follow.

For my next menu: i need your most favorite CHEAP dinner recipes.

much obliged to you,
e

mathological

hello, dahlings!
wondering if you could do me a favor.
I have estimated, and proven now three times, that I spend about 25 dollars/per day for groceries, not including any alcohol- but all breakfasts, lunches and dinners included.

today I shopped for 6 days and spent $155. I want to see if my bill is really so very high, compared to you guys who, they would say, live in more affordable areas than Boston.

For six-seven days I seem to always spend $30 on produce.

k, what about you all?
love.

there's somethin' happenin' here

I have not fully committed myself to better eating. Having visitors seems to make that task even more difficult. I am thinking about healthy eating/living more. I find myself choosing not to have ice cream or ordering water instead of coke. These are not big things, but they are a start. I'm looking forward to David's schedule change and the changes that will mean. He'll be home in the evening so dinner will be more thought out. With just Erin and I there was a tendency to throw something together at the last minute. He won't be coming home at the insane hour of 2a.m. anymore which means my sleep habits will change drastically. This is the part I'm most excited about! I know that sleep is the key to so many health issues. My hope is that life will begin to take on some form of regularity and that it will translate to better eating habits. If nothing else, he won't be home for breakfast anymore which will mean I'm far less likely to make pancakes, french toast, or waffles.
Something I find interesting is that my weight has not fluctuated since a few weeks after having Hayden. I did initially drop a few lbs while in the hospital, but those came back. I didn't even lose any weight while in the hospital for OHS or the week long ordeal with pericarditis. Nor did I gain any after surgery which was a huge surprise to me considering all of the restrictions I had. Throughout this time I haven't really watched what I was eating that much. If I wanted something I ate it. During the time between Hayden's birth and the surgery I stress ate a lot, but I stopped that after surgery. The only modification to my diet was lowering sodium, but I'm not a big salt eater anyway so I'm not sure that was much of a change. One thing I do consume more of these days is Coke. Other than that I find that I don't over eat but I do eat what I feel like having. It's just crazy to me that all of this eating with no exercising hasn't equaled weight gain.

I've been a little out of the loop lately, since Mark's kidney stone attack on Friday night. I have felt like I was in another world being in and out of the hospital, up all night several nights with him and trying to get some sleep during the day. It really messed up what Em and I had going. I did get the South Beach diet book and read through it quickly. I decided it was just too much for me to put on Emily all at once so I did make some adjustments to her diet. We have been cutting out carbs here and there and add some extra protein. She has not complained one little bit so far. We have been a little off track for the past few days but I will get back into the groove soon. I've been walking regularly since our weather has been so nice. Seth wants to get a treadmill for this winter, we'll see if we can work that into our budget. I have talked with a personal trainer friend of mine about Emily but so far he has been of little help. I understand nutrition as well as he does. Mark and I have talked about toning beds.

So,we are making progress, little bitty steps in the right direction. Now, if we can just see results from it.

and the saga continues:

i have been in Boston for six days now and i am enjoying it. i have cleaned out my restroom (threw away a bunch of old-medicine and make-up) and cleaned out our closet. Both Chris and i have too many clothes for the size constraints of our storage areas, so i have two big bags of clothes glowing to Boomerangs- the thrift shop in town whose proceeds go to AIDS research,etc. it feels fantastic to prune our wardrobes, but it isn't easy for me to do. i tend to want to keep anything that isn't torn or stained. This was the first time i had to let go of items because, for instance, they have always fit a little too big, or the sweater looks faded... you know... stuff i could have continued to wear and would-have, if i had more space.

Some people think that clutter makes it hard to lose weight, do you?


I went to the grocery store again yesterday. I told Chris that for me grocery-shopping is always fun and makes me feel rooted in my location. he doesn't get that, he hates grocery-shopping. i have been making specific lists and taking a calculator. WOW! it makes the event super organized and quick, we get exactly what we need, rarely anything gets capriciously added, and we CONTROL the cost. it makes the experience totally AWESOME for me-- the tally makes me understand exactly how much money is being spent and why-- all intentionally, you see. i usually hate spending $100 anywhere all together.

This time we were shopping for four days and spent $63. not bad, though we will have to spend $10 on smaller-market produce. We went yesterday, Labor Day, so the produce was already seriously picked-over by the time we got there. no strawberries, no cilantro, and all the avocadoes were really mushy. So $73 for four days? not bad. we spent more last time.

i weigh less now. ten pounds less than right this minute would be as little as i need to weigh. it would be in my You GO GIRL! range.
remember when we used to say that? my FIL still says it. TEN POUNDS! it is my goal! FYI: minus five pounds from here is where i was when i got pregs with Jujie. Minus TEN-- which is the goal-- is my wedding day weight. cool, right?

i read an article on TIME.com yesterday called "Why Exercise Won't Make You Thin".
While the article does say that exercise is good for a lot of health-markers, it does not make one lose weight. Basically, the article refers to exercise as we now know it, 30-60 minutes in the gym. it asserts that when we work out, we compensate for the loss of energy by either eating more or moving less throughout the day. The article suggests that we then strive to maintain a more active lifestyle- gardening, using the stairs, running for the T (in my case) and eat sensibly. If you have time, read it and let me know what you think.

Since i have an easier time eating well than exercising regularly, i like it.=)

how are you doing, healthwise? A: how is SouthBeach going? sleeping any?