Friday, March 30, 2007

Ready for the changeover

In recent weeks, I've mainly just been trying to eat what I want without judging the food or myself. Sometimes that meant steamed cauliflower and broccoli, and sometimes that meant cookie dough straight from the package. Pancakes for dinner. Kashi Go Lean and strawberries for breakfast.

I'm not ready for a strict eating plan, and I'm not sure I ever want to do that again.

I think I'm ready for truly intuitive eating. I was thinking about this while doing yoga last night. I kind of see it as a continuum with bingeing/overeating on one side and rigid, "perfect" eating on the other side.

OVEREATING<------------------------------------------>STRICT DIETING

Both are done, in my case, to fill an emotional void/to counteract a negative emotion.

I want to be somewhere in the middle, some sort of balance. Not to overspiritualize it or anything, but I think that's what God wants for me too. Not that He's mad at me when I struggle with either one, but that He wants what is good for me.

Two other notes:
-All of my formerly pregnant friends (did I mention all of my best girlfriends were pregnant and had babies within the last six months?) are now all talking about losing the pregnancy weight and getting back into shape. They ask me for advice and I want to give it to them, but I'm really cautious about getting them obsessed with weight and the perfect body. And I don't want to trigger those things in myself either. Of course, pregnancy weight gain is a pretty normal thing, and it's normal and healthy to want to get close to where you were before...

-I haven't exercised this week except for yoga and walking, mainly because it's been that TOM and boy, when you are off hormonal birth control, the periods come back with a vengeance. I'll be doing lots of walking this weekend in Seattle with my mom, and then I'll hit the gym again on Monday. YES, I WILL. (That's me arguing with my inner voice that says, "Screw the gym and go back to bed.") Only eight more weeks of getting up before work to hit the gym. By summer I'll be determining my own schedule and I will go to the gym after I am actually awake enough to be happy about it. :)

How is everyone else doing?

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Love it!

I saw this over at Big Fat Blog and just had to post it here! Enjoy! (I'll probably post it on my regular blog, too.)

It's funny, isn't it? How much of what we feel or how we perceive things is in our head.. my favorite line from one of my favorite animated movies, Chicken Run, "It's all in your head, Mr. Tweedy, it's all in your head."

I'm a little, maybe a lot surprised, at how just deciding to stop dieting has affected my whole attitude.
I'm not thinking about food all the time so I'm not hungry all the time.
I don't feel deprived or denied and that allows me to make better/healthier choices about what I am eating.
I'm eating less, feeling fuller, not stressed over food all the freakin' time. It is becoming something not so important. I've allowed myself the liberty to just go ahead and love food, because I do. I love to cook, I love to eat but because of the change in attitude towards food (it's not the enemy anymore)I find that I can cook something special or just a delicious meal and enjoy it without going overboard or feeling beat up over it.

And, the whole body issue is also becoming unimportant, not that I don't still think about it some but it's not always the thing foremost in my mind.
Maybe the miraculous is happening... I'm becoming comfortable in my own skin.


We are going to Dallas Thursday. I'm gonna be pissed if the new shirt I ordered from Spiegel doesn't get in here in time. I'm wearing jeans, hopefully my new little blue shirt, taking a blazer, and wearing comfortable shoes. It is a horseshow in Texas and we will be sitting a long time so I decided to go in comfort.

Friday, March 16, 2007

I know it is a baby step in the right direction but it was very exciting. This morning about half way through my bowl of oatmeal I recognized that I was full. It kind of startled me that I could be full on half a bowl of oatmeal but I was and the really exciting part is that I stopped. I didn't just go ahead and eat it anyway. I stopped, got up and threw the rest in the trash.

Yeah Me!!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Here we are again talking about how to break the stereotypical rotten-body-image thing that most American females are restricted by, and find a more shalom-like way to acknowledge, relate to, and treat our bodies... read more at Magpie Girl

I've been wondering about ways that we could make a difference. What could we do that might actually bring about a change in not only the way we perceive ourselves but how do we say to the designers/media/fashion industry that we are tired of them dictating the way women should look. I hear a lot of women's voices out there crying out but what could "we" do that will count??

Any ideas?

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Add yours!

Reasons to work out (unrelated to conforming to the world's vision of perfect skinniness):

1. It just makes you feel good.
2. It makes you feel accomplished (setting goals and reaching them, lifting more, running farther, etc.) and could increase self esteem.
3. It's something you can do for yourself.
4. It's a great "excuse" for some alone time or some quality time with someone you love (walks with the hubby, etc.).
5. It's good for your health in myriad ways (heart, bones, muscles, circulatory system, respiratory system, etc.).
6. You can look at your sexy biceps/triceps/pecs/shoulders/quads/calves/etc. while you're lifting weights.
7. It diffuses stress and combats/alleviates depression.

1. I like that I am doing something that I know will increase the quality of my life not only now but as I grow older
2. It makes me feel strong.
3. I feel as if I have accomplished something good.
4. It gives me something else in common with my boys, we like to discuss our work outs.

And Kristen's own "why work out at o'dark-thirty in the morning":

1. If I don't get it done in the morning, it ain't gonna happen.
2. It's a great way to start the day.
3. I don't feel like ripping J's head off when he's whistling Silver Bells while I'm waking up
4. I don't feel guilty for missing my workout.
5. I start the day doing something for myself and myself alone.
6. I start the day with some much needed semi-alone time.
7. Lifting weights is a great way to get out aggressions so I can start out my day happy.
8. Running and other cardio gives me happy endorphins.
9. I start the day focused on my health, and I tend to make healthier eating choices.
10. I'm not as sedentary throughout the day.
11. I only have to do it until May 31 (the last day of my job)...after that, I can do it whenever I want to!


I can't possibly think of one good thing to say about working out that early in the morning except that I think Kristen is SUPERWOMAN!!

I do my work outs durning Seth's school time - picture me sitting on the weight bench next to his computer, lifting weights while he does school.
We all walk together, usually right after lunch.

Who's next?

Monday, March 05, 2007

I am having a little trouble finding a place of balance with the intuitive eating. I need to get the book but I'm really trying not to spend any extra $$ right now until business picks up.
Without the counting I'm having some trouble keeping my eating under control, like I'm on a permanent free day... I know the balance will come if I listen to my body and everything new has to be learned but tonight I'm feeling pretty down about my lack of willpower. I ate horribly over the weekend and it has lingered on into today.
Right now my body is telling me that it doesn't like it when I bake macadamia nut cookies so don't do it anymore and that it doesn't like it when I ignore my own good judgement about eating healthy foods and go off on a junk food binge... so just stop it.

The cookies are all gone.

I will eat healthy tomorrow. My body will love me again.

I don't particularly care for Tyra Banks and have been mad ever since they replaced the Ellen DeGeneres show with Tyra but I happened to surf by the Tyra show tonight and saw that it was about her response to the media calling her fat. I watched about 30 minutes of the show, the girl has got attitude, I'll give her that. She had all the women in the audience dressed in red with their weight in big white letters across their chest. At the end they peeled off the numbers, threw them away and said......


Friday, March 02, 2007

I'm starting to really like this Junkfood website

A long post over at Junkfood Science, but worth checking out when you have a couple of minutes nonetheless. I don't know if I agree with everything in it, but it's very interesting.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

Okay, So I didn't throw the scale away,but, I haven't been on it in a while. I decided this morning that I was going to weigh myself just to settle a point within myself.
I had neither gained or lost anything - right where I was before.. before when I was counting every calorie, driving myself crazy over it, but, not making one bit of difference.
So, the point proven is that it really wasn't making any difference. I'm doing just as well with intuitive eating (even tho I'm still learning). I am learning, I catch myself knowing when I am about to go eat something because of stress or boredom and I just tell myself that I shouldn't - sometimes I listen, sometimes I go ahead and eat it anyway but I'm getting better with the listening.

How are you guys doing with it?