hmmm....

I feel void of interesting information, but I will check in.

I weigh the least I have weighed for two years.
This feels great. I try on old clothes and they fit. It is a good thing: I feel more myself physically.


I moved last week, into a cute (rather large and expensive) apartment. this was a big decision. I just paid the rent and feel poor right now.
this week I will set up the place. I am hopeful that I will make it home really quickly, though we only signed a six month lease.
that will be the title of my next Rethinking E. post. Six Month Lease. That post will be the self-absorbed, melancholy stuff that will assure you that I am still alive in world being myself.


I have been two people for the past three weeks and I cannot say more than this without seriously incriminating myself.
All my life I have had a pretty Rigid SuperEgo, one that edited even my thoughts so that at most times, could you have eavesdropped on my thoughts, you might have heard something that sounded a heck of a lot like KLOVE, the christian radio network.
Lately the soundtrack in my head has given way to everything but KLOVE. I am now equal parts Miles Davis, Regina Spektor, and...um...Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas. You could possibly hear SexyBack by Justin Timberlake in my head and in my life. I have only been to church once in the past six weeks.
I hardly recognize myself.
My SuperEgo is on vacation, perfectly unconcerned about the London Bridge and how Fergie says it is falling. And I am left with my Ego, just my ego, to regulate an Id that has been forced to listen to Steven Curtis Chapman for a decade and a half.
I once heard that the SuperEgo is the parent of the self. It treats the Id like a child. The Ego then represents an adult person, neither parent or child of the self. Just Self. I am not sure.... but if so I am hoping that I develop an adult-identity that fucntions well in society and with myself. That sentence was weird, but if you are still reading and/or get this at all... pray for my Ego.

oh, and A, I am almost positive that this is not what you were asking for... but thanks for calling me out all the same.

oh, and I had a sundae today. I went out and bought double vanilla ice cream, dove choco syrup and cherries. yummmm!