Becky and I are having a conversation in the comments of my last post regarding the labeling of our struggle with food/eating. In thinking about the conversation and searching for information, I came across some interesting articles that I want to share. I'm interested in your thoughts. For my entire life food has either been my friend or my enemy depending on the day of week, time of month, or phase of the moon. I've always looked at this struggle one dimensionally realizing on some level that there were other factors involved but never pointing the finger at them. Just now, in a single thought, food became neutral ground. Food is only the ammunition I use against myself. I'm still trying to sort this all out. I'm not sure my thoughts make sense.
Anyway, here are the links.
http://www.womentowomen.com/nutritionandweightloss/emotionaleating.aspx
http://www.womentowomen.com/nutritionandweightloss/splenda.aspx
I'm really interested in continuing this conversation.
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7 comments:
haven't read the links yet, but found your reply fascinating. totally fascinating.i'll get to the links.
I have re-read the posts and the comments, read the article and thought about this off and on all day...
Okay, so I've decided I misused the term "addiction" or used it too loosely, whatever.
When I read the article it sounded like so much psychobabble to me but I started thinking about some of what it is based on.
Well, yeah, we all have an emotional connection with food. How could we not? It is a huge part of our culture and I don't think it is a bad thing.
And, I will admit I do overeat when bored, sometimes,not always.
But, I got to really thinking about the WHY of my own overeating and I don't think it is all that deep or mysterious.
I love food, I love all things about food from the buying and storing it, growing it, preparing it, using it as a means to show love, and especially eating it.
Still don't think that is a bad thing.
The WHY (I overeat) question...
I have never been or am I now a very disciplined person... lack of will power is why I over eat. Lack of will power may be a character flaw but not some deep seated mystery.
Addictive nature - most probably
Insecurity and other issues - yeah, who doesn't
But,I'm pretty sure I overeat because I really like food and am not disciplined enough not to.
Just like I can't make myself stay on a regular exercise routine.
My issues with food go way back. My grandmother fed me like a prized goose, because she could. When she was raising her own children, they were on the edge of starvation all the time. She lived through the depression and it marked her. Her children lived on plain oatmeal 3 meals a day for months at a time after my bastard grandfather left her with 4 small children and pregnant with my mother. At one point she had to put my oldest uncle in an orphanage for a while because she could not afford to feed them all.
So, every visit to grandmas became a feast. Whether I was hungry or not, I had to eat everything. The "Clean Plate Club" was not to be trifled with. I got taught how to cook flapjacks, apple pies, fudge, chili, and all the yummy goodies that I also associated with Grandma's endless love.
Grandma was obese. When I lived with her for a summer I got off the plane looking like a bratwurst stuffed into my JCPenney's husky jeans and Tshirt. My rail skinny mother was aghast and I was immediately put on a diet.
Mom was also very angry and abusive. So hunger, fear, pain, anger and abuse were linked.
Grandma was food and love. Mom was pain and hunger.
Along with all of the BS about looking a certain way, we also have to look at what we grew up thinking and associating food with. Mine is pretty clear cut.
I know that I'm not a member of this blog, but if I may add a comment about this topic...
Broadly defined, the term addiction means "persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful". I agree that we have to eat. I do fine with meals and I eat better when other people are around. However, the part that is harmful to me is the overeating. I eat for any reason, mostly because I'm trying to drown feelings or because I'm avoiding something. The one article even said something like that..."Most women who struggle with emotions and food actually “hunger” for deeper sustenance — a psychological yearning they feed with food." I totally relate to that. The reason that I overeat is not because it's a habit. It's because I'm searching for something else in my life. I eat because I'm lonely, I eat because I had a bad day at work, I eat because I'm not happy with my life. I know it's not right. I know it's not healthy. When I overeat, it's not just that I eat too much spinach. I overeat with cookies or cake or whatever else happens to be there. And if I don't have something that will fulfull my craving, then I will often (not always) seek it out. So, to me, I characterize that as an addiction. I'm trying to avoid or drown something with food, as I'm eating I'm not aware of what I'm doing, and I seek it out if I don't have it.
The thing is that this is such a personal thing. While overeating to one person might be an addiction for them, for another person overeating might just be a bad habit.
Just my thoughts...for whatever they're worth.
Jen, your opinions and thoughts are always welcome. Thanks for sharing so open and honestly.
Cara, one of the articles talks about food and our relationship to it based on childhood experiences. I know that is part of the equation for me.
Jen, I couldn't agree more. I don't think it's an addiction for everyone just as not everyone is addicted to alcohol. The interesting thing to me is how for the first time I saw that the food isn't the issue. It's really the action of overeating for me. As I was thinking about this more I realized that if we could be truly inside ourselves and aware of what we are thinking and feeling we would be much less likely to overeat. If we could stop ourselves and ask why we want to run to the fridge at that particular moment then we have a chance. I don't think this is easy. It's something that requires practice and support. This thought brought me some relief as I can't imagine not ever being able to enjoy chocolate cake again. However if I am in control of myself and know that I'm enjoying the cake because I want to rather than trying to fill an emotional hole or reward myself for a rough day it keeps me from seeing food as the enemy.
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