Day Ten

i think we've been here ten days today, or we're on our tenth day now, and from the feel of it, this is going to be really easy.
at this point, i bet easy is just what a doctor what order.
most of my friends, including my sister, seem to agree.
I feel i am stabilized by being here. here, it becomes clear to me that i have been conflicted every single day for the three years' prior to our leaving.
though- and this is a bit of hard-won knowledge for me about myself- i am not primarily a thinker, so when i am conflicted i manifest other ways than in my stream of consciousness. i don't think confusedly, though i can at times be confused, but i feel anxious. i feel the conflict, even if i try to sublimate it with my thinking good thoughts over the tension in my back or soul.
all that has radically reduced. the little earthquakes in my subconsciousness are finally calming.
i miss a few of my friends (tiffany, brent, alex, tim). i miss my therapist. i miss our cars (we decided it was best to leave the cars since they weren't in our names).

but i don't miss the fog in my soul.
love.