Hokahoma

you ladies are such a reference point for me, a homebase for my soul, because you only know me honestly. i don't write words that aren't true and immediate for me and that, dears, is a really cool way to be known, sans the bullshit.

our little family made it out of texas and into Oklahoma three days ago. i am in T*lsa. and i am hoping to get in some face time with Aola while i am here. not that i exactly know where you are A.

in general, my spirits are up. there is a peace here- in the city and in my soul. we'd orginally planned on staying about five weeks, but we may stretch that out to three months. debt.

it would be best to stay for that long- but i don't want to . i want to keep the momentum and i am embarrassed to live with his parents for that long.
still, it is a smart thing to do and, as most people know, three months goes by REALLY fast when you are in your late twenties. fast fast fast.
it would probably take that long to set up a life in Chicago for ourselves, properly. and properly is the way i want to do it.
Judah seems to like "hokahoma" just fine! he has his cousins and two furry cats to torment. C's spirits seem to be lifting.
but me? i am on my own for the first time, no safety net, and am feeling overwhelmed. i feel impatient when i think about having to resurrect our finances over the summer.
Still, i realize taking responsibility for myself is the first real step toward independence and if it looks like spending the next few months here well. . . i can cope.
i still want to be rescued, but i guess that is the point.
do it myself.