get back on that horse

Ok, I am going to really try this week to get back on track with my exercise. I had been doing pretty good, although I know it wasn't enough, until last week. I only worked out once last week.
I'm not sure what happened. I just couldn't make myself do it....

But, starting yesterday, I have renewed my efforts. I waited until almost dark last night and went walking. It was still hot but bearable.
I'm going to walk Tues., Thurs, and Sat.; lift on Mon., Wed., and Friday.
My eating has been ok, not great but ok. I've been eating out too much and that needs to stop.
But, with it this hot we eat really light meals or nothing at all. A lot of salads and yogurt with frozen fruit (ahhh, nice and cool) and tons of water. I just can't seem to drink enough.

I haven't gained any weight but I'm feeling lethargic. I need to get up and move.

The worst part of it is that if it is a normal year here we won't have any relief in this heat for at least another month, probably more.

SCORE!!

today my macy's was getting rid of everything they could to move down the mall into Foley's old space. I scored the MOST AMAZING, can't even feel it, bra by Wacoal- the Ibra. it retails for $50 so i couldn't bring myself to buy it before. today it was 40% off... and I am thrilled.

Thank you very much

Okay, I love Scarlett Johanssohn. Just a beautiful, level-headed girl. Not a bobblehead, too skinny, weird, pot-head actress. Her body is refreshingly normal. Someone on another site pointed out her cellulite in this picture, saying, "Yeah, all women have it, get used to it." Well, probably 90% of women have it, but still...it makes me slightly happy to see that she has it. Isn't that ridiculous?

I guess I'm just happy to see a normal girl with a normal body getting media attention. I hope she sees this picture and goes, "Oh, I look pretty" and not, "Oh, liposuction/extreme exercising/anorexia, here I come."

Stop Negative Thinking I found this article very helpful. I have a strong tendency to think negatively about myself if I slip up. What I like about this article is that it doesn't try to delve into the deep psychological meaning of my negative thinking pattern, but rather offers a practical solution to changing that pattern.

The article Kristen linked too has really made me think about what I really think about myself and the reasons I workout and eat right. I'm constantly telling myself that I need to get healthy, but that isn't the complete truth. I am healthy. I don't have any medical or health issues. My body runs efficiently and is capable of doing whatever I tell it too. The truth is I want to lose weight, but weight and health are not the same. Yes, being over weight can lead to health conditions that might otherwise be avoided, but I don't have those conditions now. My point is that by telling myself I need to get healthy, I am not telling myself how healthy I am. I am not giving myself credit for all that I am able to do and all the good choices I make. I'm dwindling my entire self down to what the scale says. If the scale is high, I am not a healthy person. I've been telling myself over the past few days that I am healthy and it's given me even more determination to do the things that healthy people do. I want to workout and eat right because I am telling myself that I am one of the people who does that sort of thing.

Society squeezes people into categories based on looks. Being labeled unhealthy because I am overweight is as silly as labeling a skinny person healthy just because they are skinny. It's important for me to remind myself that while someone may see me and label me as one thing, that does not define me. I am a healthy person who makes good choices 90% of the time.

Really good article

I've been thinking about body image a lot lately, especially in light of being around my four pregnant friends and their "I feel huge!" feelings (did some maternity clothing shopping with them recently) and my concern for not passing on my own body image issues to my future kids.

I thought you all would appreciate this article. The website is good, too. I might write more about it all later, if I can figure out what I'm feeling/thinking.

In other news, it's been too damn hot to exercise. I got in a half an hour walk on Sunday morning, but couldn't handle it after a while. Did some weights last night, and will probably do more tonight and ride on the exercise bike in our air-conditioned house. I don't envy those of you in 100 degree weather.

The Outcome

Surprisingly, it worked.

On day five after Sam's birth, I was at my pre-pregnancy weight, but not shape. On day thirteen (today), I can fit into my clothes. They don't look quite right, but still they zip and button without a problem.

I've lost a ton of muscle, so I guess the next step is toning up.

This week, I've been focusing on controlling the things I feel capable of controlling. My workouts have been at 95-100%. My eating has been at 75%, but I'm okay with that. I'm realizing that it's truly about small steps. Trying to jump into it doesn't work. I drown every time. So, this week I told myself to focus on the workouts and make sure I complete every workout no matter what. As far as eating goes, I added a salad for lunch every day. If I can keep that up, I'll be happy with myself and next week I'll add something else. Perhaps next week I'll focus on those afternoon hours that ruin my good intentions. Yesterday I did manage to say no to Quizno's which I picked up for David and Erin without ordering myself a single thing, and I put back an ice cream that I had every intention of eating. I was about to unwrap it when I talked myself out of it. I just keep telling myself to think about what I really want and how I'm going to get there.

The want of it.

How bad do I want to lose weight? Do I want it bad enough to deny myself an after dinner ice cream or bad enough to push myself harder than I ever thought possible in a workout? Last night I wanted it that bad. I pushed myself through my workout groaning the entire time. Not because I enjoy working out, but because I wanted the prize at the end. Sometimes that prize seems so far away that the want of it isn't enough to push me through. I tell myself that these are the times that I need to push even harder because the true test isn't sticking to something when you want to do it, but sticking to it when everything in you would rather sit on the couch and eat cookies.
It's not just with working out and eating right either. Everything in life from eating right to keeping a clean house,
comes down to that extra little bit of sticktoitivness that it takes to accomplish what we set out to do. It's not always easy, but it's always worth it.

I've been so bad today! I had toast with plum jelly, a cookie, and half a burrito from Baja. I was almost convinced to just give up when I rememberd that it's about "progress not perfection". I'm going to keep trying until I get it right or die trying. Today is a cardio day and lord help me I will get in the cardio if it kills me! I'm preparing chicken breast for my lunches for the rest of the week so I have no excuse not to have a salad. I'm going to take it with me to work so I don't get to hungry and come home willing to eat anything. That only leads to disaster! I've at least drank only water today and lots of it. I wish my period would start already so I'm not craving chocolate and anything with fat in it.
Is it okay to seperate eggs and store the egg whites in the fridge in a sealed container? I know you can buy them at the store that way, but I'm not sure if they have additives that make it okay to store them like that. I just want them to be ready to go in the morning when I wake up.
My neck and back are killing me today! We had a little too much fun at the lake yesterday. Erin would crawl up on my shoulders while we were in the water and try to jump off, but she never got it right. She almost decapitated me twice.
This week, I want to get in all my workouts and really push myself on my strength training. We now have the dumbbells and the curl bar so I have to excuses.
Kristen, I saw a pull up bar in the store Saturday and thought of you. :) Did you ever get one?

Really good

I went walking/running the last three days. Woo-hoo!

The weather has been so beautiful lately; I almost cried when I noticed just how beautiful my little town is. I love it here, even when it drives me crazy that I live in suburbia. (I'd rather live in the country or in the city--not in between!)

Sandra, you are doing great. BTW, I tried to respond to your e-mail, but it kept bouncing back. What should I do?

My diet went off track this weekend. I was supposed to have a free day which should have been today. I made it yesterday because I was supposed to go out with some friends and didn't want to have to chose a salad. Today started off fairly well. I had an egg white breakfast burrito made with a whole wheat tortilla for breakfast and tuna salad for lunch. After lunch I veered off course. We went to the lake where it was extremely hot and I had an ice cream. For dinner I didn't do too badly. I had grilled chicken with broccoli and a small portion of stuffing. I'll be back on track tomorrow. We did get a lot of physical activity in. We rode our bikes about 2 miles out on a hilly off road trail and then swam for about an hour then we rode back and swam some more.
This weekend I bought some dumbbells and a curl bar. I'm looking forward to using them this week.
According to the scale, I'm down a pound and a half. We'll see what it says in the morning. :)

Blogging

Hey girls! I've been blogging at "Genuinely Jeanne" and Kristen says I should tell you. So, I'm telling you.

Blah--I need a weekend

I ran across this EXTREME program online today that basically is for people who do not want to diet, but want to lose fat. Holy cow, it looked tough, but it was so tempting because I hate regulating what I eat. Hate it.

I wish we could all have the metabolism of a teenage boy for the rest of our lives.

Oh yeah, and another symptom of menopause is weight gain... YIPEE!!!

I am so depressed this morning. It's like I work and work and manage to lose a little weight, takes months and months to see any difference whatsoever and then if I slack off for even a couple of weeks I start gaining again.

I still weigh in every Friday and the scale has slowly been moving back up even tho I am still doing the weight training 3 to 5 nights a week. I haven't been walking because it is so freaking hot here but this morning I got up, put my shoes on and went for a walk anyway. It was probably at least 90 degrees at 9:00 this morning.
But, I am going to start getting up and walking anyway.

I still don't have the recumbent bike. There have been some unforeseen expenses come up, like having to buy 2 new air conditioners, a hot water tank, and a new washer this summer. So, it's been hard for me to let go of the extra $$ for exercise equipment.

What I have done so far has made me feel better. I haven't noticed any angina in months now and I feel better about myself so I just can't let it slip away.

So, take your best shot and tell me to get up off my fat rear and get busy.

You girls need to remember all this stuff I'm telling you about menopause....
(I would tell you talk to me about when you get there but I will have forgotten it all, either that or I'll be dead by then)
because that way in 30 years when you start going thru it, you won't think you are crazy.

You get really hormonal... I mean really. You can't sleep at night, you develop adult ADD and can't concentrate on anything and your poor old body just does weird shit. You'll think for sure you have some horrible disease and must be dying.

Today I feel like a water balloon. I got dressed and looked in the mirror and sheesh... I looked like what PeaceBang describes as stacked meat balls. I had to go change clothes into something really loose. Even my face is swollen, eyes all puffy.

We are really havin' fun now!!

I just be glad when the cramps lighten up a little so I can exercise without excessive pain.

I have a friend who at the end of every email signs it with this:

"Growing old is not for sissies, if you can't do it get out now."

Day three went fairly well. I got a little off with the diet around 4 p.m. when I had a handfull of cookie crisp cereal and 3 pieces of toasted crunchy mini bread cracker things. It was right after I woke up from a nap and I went straight for carb stuff. It could have been worse. What I wanted was a huge sandwhich and I almost made one, but stoped myself. This is the week before my period which usually equals lots of sleeping and eating. I added up my calories and they were around 1700 and everything was clean except the two things mentioned above. I keep reminding myself that Sunday is just around the corner. :)
One thing I have noticed is that I really need to make a lunch to bring to work. I've been eating every 2 to 3 hours like I need to, but my 12p.m. meal is either a protein shake or an apple with peanut butter. Neither of those is enough. I think my lunch meal needs to be a little more substantial to tide me over until 3p.m. Currently I'm only having about 600 calories between 6 a.m. and 2 p.m. That can't be enough. So, next week I will make my lunches in the evening. I'll probably double whatever I have for dinner and turn it into something that can be eaten cold since I have no way to heat it.
Erin and I went for a 45 minute bike ride. We took a different route that has more hills. It was quite a workout. My legs were still sore from Tuesays weight lifting session so it was double pain, but it felt good. I got a new water bottle with the mounting rack and a little bag that fits under my bike seat for my birthday so I was all set for the ride.

Need Prayer, Please

This isn't for me exactly. A dear, longtime friend of mine has had a terrible tragedy this week. Her sister-in-law and niece went for a day hike in our area. They were found dead. The newspaper said this morning that the only thing they're sure of is that it is NOT suicide. I'm sure more will be brought to light in the next few days. However, while my friend is saved, the rest of her extended family is not. Please pray for Joanne and her family. Thanks.

Please excuse me while I rant.

Normally I greet the mail man with a smile and send him on his way with a cheery "Thank You!", but not today. Today he delivered a full color brochure for a new pizza place down the street. The pages are dripping with cheesy crusty pizza pictures. It isn't his fault. He's only doing his job. It's a good thing I'm at work and can't leave to get pizza. :)

Day Two

Day to of BFL was pretty good. I ate a little more than yesterday because I knew I would be working out fairly hard. My calories were around 1750, and everything was clean except the recipe below which I am not sure about.
The BFL workout kicked my butt! It was really tough. I didn't do all the exercises I should have because we don't have dumbbells. I'm going to pick some up today so I'll be prepared for tomorrow. I did a full body work out modified with the BFL principles. My arms were so shaky when I finished! It felt good. When I wanted to quit, I just pushed harder. One thing I forgot to do was take a minute break between each set. I finished 15 minutes sooner than the book said I should and my heart rate was super high. Next time, I'll remember to take the rest.
I made Fruit Filled Chocolate Meringues for my 8 p.m. meal last night. I topped them with fresh strawberries and replaced half of the sugar with splenda. It was delicious.
Today is a cardio day. Erin and I are planning on going for a bike ride when I get home from work. We haven't been in two weeks. It's about time we got out there again.

One day down, 83 to go.

I survived my first day of Body For Life fairly easily. The eating plan is much more simple than counting calories. I am going to take your recommendation Kristen, and count the calories one day to make sure I'm eating enough. My diet looked like this:

6 a.m. 1/2 cup Oatmeal with cinnamon and splenda
1/2 cup egg whites with salsa
1 glass of water

9 a.m. 1 apple
2 tbsp natural peanut butter
2 glasses of water

12 p.m. Protein shake with 8 oz skim milk (I really can't stand the shake made with water.)
1 glass of water

2 p.m. 1 whole wheat pita
1 portion of grilled chicken
2 tbsp salsa
1 glass of water

5 p.m. 3 California rolls (this was my only slip up because these were made with white rice.)

8:30 pm. 1 portion tilapia
1 portion brown rice
1 portion peas
1 slice flaxseed bread
2 glasses of water

All in all it was an okay day. I needed to add another vegetable in there, but my eating plan was thrown a little off track when I had to do 3 hours of extra work for David. I was really craving sugar around 4 p.m. and 8 p.m., but I managed to ignore the craving.
I wasn't able to get in a cardio work out because of the extra time working for David. I had planned to workout at 6p.m.

Today, I am lifting as soon as I get home at 2. My diet should look about the same minus the California rolls and adding some veggies.

My goals during this 12 weeks are to:

1. Lose 20 bls of body fat
2. Fit into one size smaller jeans
3. Increase my strength and cardio ability.

To reach these I will:

1. Stay on my meal plan.
2. Go to bed by 10 each night.
3. Push myself outside of my comfort zone.

I managed to be in bed by 10 last night and it felt good to know I was giving my body the rest it need.
As always, if you have any comments suggestions, they are more than welcome! I plan on posting once each day during this 84 days. It will help keep me in line.

Oh yeah, I am already dreaming about Sunday (free day) when I can have some ice cream!! :)

So, Sandra...

How's your first day on plan going?

SAM POWELL

Becky's sister called at 8:00 this morning and left a message that Becky is having the baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wish I could rush to the hospital and just sit in the waiting room until he gets here but she's 1500 miles away. So, all I can do is tell you girls, say a little prayer and go shopping for something really cute to send Sam.

And cry.

A Little Inspiration from Kristen

I got this quote from one of the articles Kristen posted a link to last week. It inspired me and I'm hoping it will do the same for all of you.
"We must all suffer from one of the two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons." Jim Rohn
I'm ready for next week and the Body For Life program. I'm ready to push myself outside of my comfort zone.

I tried to start the new program today, but I am sick; sore throat, headache, runny nose, and a cough. I'm going to try and mend the rest of this week and start fresh on Monday. Hopefully whatever this is will be gone by then.
How was everyone's 4th? I have some pretty interesting pictures of David baking my birthday cake that I'll be posting on my blog sometime in the next few days.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SANDRA

Happy Birthday, Sandy, I hope you have a great day!!

The book I ordered, "Body For Life", arrived yesterday. I'm going to start reading it today. My plan is to start the 12 week program on Wednesday. I'm going to re-evaluate everything from my diet to exercise. I think it's time for an overhaul. David has even said he'll try it with me. That's exciting!