A little discouraged

First of all, gals, I am reading The Obesity Myth by Paul Campos, and it is really good. The entire first section is Campos showing how many "obesity experts" (the ones you read about in magazines and newspapers constantly) twist studies to show how awful fat is. In reality, a fat person who exercises and eats fairly healthy will have the same mortality rate as someone who is thin. In some cases, the fat even seems protective against diseases. Furthermore, a person who is 75 pounds "overweight" (whatever that means) is often more healthy than a person who is 5 pounds underweight. These "experts" have powerful motives (financially, socially, etc.) to keep women losing "the last 10-20 lbs" over and over again, even though that is terrible for your body.

The first part of the book deals with the skewed studies; that is the hardest part to read, but also the most powerful probably.

I was particularly struck by a chapter on Susan Estrich. She's not one of my favorite people to begin with, but she has accomplished many things in her life (first female president of the Harvard Law Review, first female to run a presidential campaign, published a few books, mother). Yet according to her book, she considers her biggest accomplishment going from a size 12 to a size 6 dress.

Yuck. Seriously, how did we get here? A person can do amazing things, break barriers, publish books, become a respected analyst...all these things, and still not feel happy about themselves or worthwhile until she loses weight? I mean, seriously, size 12 isn't overweight to begin with! She wasn't endangering her health at that size...she just wanted to look smaller.

That is f----d up.

The reason I am discouraged about this is because when I told Jason about this, he basically said, "Well, who are we to judge what she considers her greatest accomplishments to be?"

Excuse me? It's like he couldn't see how incredibly sick this was. His attitude about it outrages and discourages me. It could be because he doesn't believe what I'm telling him about what I'm learning from the book. I think he thinks fat people are gross. It's sad because he is one of the least prejudiced people I know--he is kind to everyone--but when it comes to fat, he is different.


Part of me knows I cannot live in bondage to food, calorie counts, binges, etc. anymore. But the other part of me is desperately afraid that I will lose my husband or that at the very least, he will lose his attraction to me. (What happens then? Do I jump back on some crazy dieting scheme because of one person's--one very important person, mind you--thinks I need to be skinnier to be attractive to him?)

Part of me is scared that he's going to make our kids have eating disorders because of the way he talks.

Part of me is discouraged that I didn't marry a guy who is more concerned with the shit we woman go through. Any time I bring up any feminist issue (and I don't frequently), he clams up and freaks out.

I'm discouraged. Help.