Women, Phenomenally

Oh, Gawd, I am so depressed.........

(picture me now slamming my forehead down on the keyboard and wailing loudly)

third day of my period and I decide to go ahead and weigh myself because it is Friday and it is the day I always weigh even though I knew better because I need to be losing 2lbs a week to reach the impossible goal I set for myself

stupid, stupid, stupid

the scales didn't budge, not an ounce, one way or the other

and on top of all that stupidity I bought a new skirt last night. It just looked so cute hanging there on the hanger so I brought it home with me

and this morning I tried it on and I looked hideous in it

I have no freaking waist anymore. I just go from huge boobs to skinny legs (well, they look skinny compared to the rest of me) no shape, unless I'm standing sideways and then there are plenty of curves. the curve of my fat belly sticking out. the curve of my big ass sticking out.

no waist

I put the skirt back in the bag to be returned

threw my food journal across the room

went upstairs and put on a big baggy shirt and a bigger sweatshirt on top of that

and just felt like crying.