I've been thinking about Sandy's last post, about food, record-keeping, other's people advice. So, this post is me trying to work out my food issues, or analyze them, or at least address why I think the way I do.
First, I was strangely drawn to Sandy's itemized sparknotes list. I found myself listing the food I ate that day in my head, again and again, judging it. I thought about listing it for you to see, half-confession/half-brag. I don't even count calories, so the whole thought was ridiculous, but still, I liked her list, the record of it. It was like my brain saw a way to classify my days, to judge my progress on the eating front.
Second,we classify food as good and bad, giving it some moral authority. We are good when we eat "good" food, bad when we "bad" food. The world thinks this way -- even the way the people at the magazine refer to it as eating "clean" has a moral judgment with it. I think this way, but I don't think it's true. If I eat right (there it is again), does that make me a better person? And when "right" changes, adding more protein or calories or whatever, will I feel bad or insecure about the boundary lines of eating?
And then I thought about my classifications of "good" and "bad" food, and they are so unscientific. Basically, my brain classifies all home-made or grown food as "good," even if that homemade food is chocolate-chip cookies. How dumb is that? I'm linking "good" with the thought and emotion that go into the food.
But, what if it's all "good"? What if food can't really be classified? I remember telling a friend I was making catfish one night, and they asked in horror if I was frying it. That night, I wasn't, but now, when I do fry it, I remember that exclamation. She was truly horrified at the thought of all those fatty particles clogging up my blood stream. Can one night of fried catfish, undo a lifetime of salads?
I'm not sure where I'm heading with all these questions. Only, Sandy's post made me think. People's frustration made me think, and they also made me yearn for something much simpler. I want to disassociate food with bad/good. I want food to be food: nourishing, yummy, essential. That doesn't mean I don't want to feed my body good things -- I do -- and it doesn't mean I'm not dreaming already about shedding this ball on my belly -- I am. It does mean I want my food choices to be smart, not based in condemnation or guilt, and I want to be a follower of moderation. Carbs won't kill me or make me less of a human being. The rare night of grease won't ensure a heart attack. This find skinny way of life is hard, but I want to make it a doable way of life, and I can't do that if it becomes a moral thing for me.
So, that's a whole lot of nonsense, that would probably best be ignored.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
I repeat the "Food is fuel. Period." mantra over and over, hoping one day I'll completely believe it. :) Food is more than that, of course, especially to women, it seems, oddly. Maybe because we're often more involved in the cooking aspects traditionally--or we associate it with traditions, good and bad. (Ice cream binge after a break-up, butter and mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving, salads only on first dates...). Interesting thoughts, Becky.
Very interesting. Espeically the part about associating eating "good" or "bad" and being "good" or "bad". I know that I do that.
The frustrating part for me is that I have eaten "bad" food and lost weight and kept it off. Now, I'm eating "good" food and losing nothing. I think that while there may be universal truths to diet and nutrition, ultimately our bodies are each different and what works for one may not work for another. I believe what Kristen said in regard to my last post makes perfect sense. You have to find what works for you and do that. If you have to have your chocolate, then work it in.
Post a Comment